COTTON (Gary Cole): “Good evening, sports fans, Cotton McKnight here, coming to you live from Village Booksmith in Centerville, Ohio, welcoming you to the finals of the World’s Smuggest Man competition! Live on ESPN8, The Ocho. And with me as always, my partner in crime: Pepper Brooks!”
PEPPER (Jason Bateman): “Yo! What’s up, Cot? Fist bump!”
Continue reading “ESPN 8 The Ocho Presents: The World’s Smuggest Man Competition”FIRE!
Arthur Brown knew how to make an entrance! Tom Batiuk, not so much.
The Burnings have commenced! Both the Daily Cartoonist and Cleveland.com ran puff pieces in advance of the story, much like we saw ahead of the CTE arc. We’ve been wondering about the nature of The Burnings for months now, and these stories reveal some details:
Continue reading “I Am The God Of Hellfire, And I Bring You…”Last week, I wrote about Tom Batiuk’s blog post, where he defended his use of what he calls “non-linear storytelling.” He said that he intentionally abandons stories and returns to them later. I thought this was a nod to the fact that 90-something Eugene wordlessly rowed into a lake a couple weeks ago, and his story abruptly stopped there.
Silly me. It turns out Batiuk wasn’t talking about Eugene. He was actually talking about his favorite subject. No, not comic books. Himself!
I will go through this week of Crankshaft day-by-day, because it deserves that much attention. But first, let’s take a moment to review the history of the Centerview Sentinel.
Continue reading “Interview With The Vapid”Pop quiz! What’s happening in this panel?
A. They’re reacting to one of Ed’s awful puns.
B. They’re reacting to Ed doing $80,000 worth of damage to their house.
C. A stranger just asked them if they’ve ever heard of Lisa’s Story.
D. Something about comic books that everyone just instinctively knows.
E. The grocery store is out of those exotic English muffins they like.
F. The last Walkman on earth just broke.
G. They’re deeply in love with each other, and just re-lived a major moment in their lives together down to the last detail.
On July 20, thwarted lover Eugene rowed into the middle of a lake for reasons unknown, and hasn’t been seen since.
On August 11, Tom Batiuk explained on his blog what happened to Eugene. It’s called writing. Let’s dissect:
I take flack now and then from fans(?)
I didn’t put that (?) there. Tom Batiuk did. This may be the first time he has acknowledged the idea that his readers might not be “fans” in the traditional sense. Though I think he’s implying that anyone who would question his writing is not actually a fan. All criticism is a mortal offense to Tom Batiuk, and he makes you guess what he’s upset about. No wonder he likes Les so much.
who are perplexed and flummoxed by the fact I deliberately try not to engage in linear storytelling.
I’m mostly perplexed by this sentence. The man is simply incapable of saying anything straightforwardly. Try it with me now: “I consciously avoid linear storytelling.” When your writing is so bad I have to decipher it, it doesn’t matter how linear or non-linear you are.
Continue reading “Match To Lame”
Son of Stuck Funky 