beckoningchasm

Friendly Stranger in a Black Batiuikmobile

I guess one positive to take from today’s thing is that Les is so tiny he’s barely visible. Presumable Frankie zooms off to follow, so he can tell Les he’s the location manager for the “Lisa’s Story” movie or some other entirely stupid development.

And, one supposes Cayla’s “It knows where we live” is probably just more world-weariness. I honestly don’t understand how these people can get out of bed in the morning, since everything is awful and futile and all plans are doomed to failure, and there is no chance of even a fleeting glimpse of happiness. Westview is one charismatic leader away from Jonestown–and that’s only because Les has no charisma; he would willingly serve the Kool-Aid with a smile. “You’ll all be with Lisa soon!”

I don’t understand why Batiuk writes this crap. I know he feels that “high art” is that which shows its depth by being all about depression and darkness and the complete lack of hope…and some works of art embody those things and do achieve greatness. But Batiuk doesn’t have the talent for it, and it’s long past time he should realize this.

But then, some fools nominated him for a prestigious award, because awards are often given to the bleak, and his focus changed forever.

Today, his Titanic is set and locked on course for the iceberg, and it’s far too late to alter course. Shame, really, he could have taken his place with Mel Lazarus, Ernest Thaves, Morrie Turner and Art Sansom. People who could reliably fill a comic-strip space. Nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a worthy occupation and gave some readers a grin or two.

Instead, he turned away and made readers wish that space was left blank. Or had an advertisement for cyanide.

Dreaming of Sleazebags

Link to today’s strip.

Well, I guess the dream is over, as Les pivots from a dream that kept him tossing to now note how he’s “thinking” about Frankie. Maybe Batiuk doesn’t know the difference between dreaming and idle musing, but I’m pretty sure the latter is how he gets all his “ideas.” But look at Cayla in panel one! That’s the face of someone who is soaked in regret. I’ve never seen weariness, God-am-I-sorry-I-asked, Please-Stop-Talking so well portrayed, so kudos to Ayers again.

And of course that’s Frankie in panel three. What exactly is he going to do? Demand that he be in the movie, or get money from the movie, because…reasons? He has no relation to anyone still alive other than Dullard. He certainly won’t have anything he can use as leverage over Les. If the movie was “Dullard’s Story” he could, perhaps, claim to be an integral part but it isn’t so he can’t. I am genuinely curious as to what kind of scheme he’s going to launch, despite the fact that Batiuk always disappoints.

I guess since the movie version seems to be moving along nicely, Batiuk needed a villain and, well, why not Frankie. More Hollywood types whining that “Lisa’s Story” won’t play in China might have been too much repetition, even for Batiuk (hard as that is to believe).

Monday, Ohio

Link to today’s strip.

Many thanks to ComicBookHarriet for enduring one of the most tedious and stupid arcs to appear this year, and that’s saying something. As always, though, she uses the opportunity to educate and enlighten us, something this strip couldn’t do if it was forced at gunpoint.

So, on to today. Along with the Sunday strips, those that appear at the beginning of the month are also unavailable. Alas, though, they eventually show up. So we speculate.

The comic book things usually end with the cover, so I doubt that will continue. We already had a “whimsical” Funky strip. I think it’s a little soon to leap back into “Les’ Masterpiece is Misunderstood by Those with Undeserved Power,” but then, Batiuk’s “Lust for Les” thirst is hard to quench.

That leaves Dinkle, I suspect. Excuse me a moment. … Thanks, I had to vomit.

Monday, Ohio is a real place, by the way. It appears to be completely unremarkable…unlike Westview, which is filled with monsters.

UPDATE: So, Les is bothered by a dream, and Cayla offers to listen. Of course she does. She does nothing but serve Les’ every Lisa-related need (and I feel positive the dream will be about Hollywood’s Continued Menacing of Lisa’s Sacred Life). Batiuk, everyone in this strip caters to Les at every opportunity (unless their sole purpose is to deny him, evilly). We all know this, it is the subject of every Les-oriented story you’ve ever made. At least the drawing is pretty decent, kudos to Ayers for at least making the attempt.

Unlike his boss, who can’t even remember his last co-worker’s name.

The only creature that knows of death, and its inevitability

Link to the Sunday Mourning strip.

I’m writing this before the Sunday strip becomes available, as is usual for Sunday and Funky Winkerbean. Thus, I have no idea what it might be. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more trivia associated with the upchucking upcoming Lisa’s Story movie, but we might get Funky and Holly at home, or–in a massive middle finger to “continuity”–Funky and Les out for a morning run. Remember the time Les flew to Africa, then flew back to Ohio in the middle of his trek up Mount Kilimanjaro so he could comment on Funky’s new car? He then immediately flew back and ended up back with his tour group. Lucky for them, huh? Probably, that’ll be revised so that it was Mason’s private plane doing all that plague bacillus transporting, even though Mason was but a glimmer in Batiul’s eye back then, because when you have awards to win, tiny little details like telling a coherent story are totally unimportant.

UPDATE: Oh my goodness, Lisa’s Story is the most tragic and heart-rending story every told. Every detail is just more piteous and disturbing. Why? Is it because her suffering reaches deep into the soul, and illustrates the grand scheme of life in all its glory, which is then only cut from us cruelly, and discarded, along with all our dreams?

No, it’s because it gave an asshole like Les Moore the gateway to fame and respect–two things that should never have come close to this utterly loathsome gibbering slime-sheet. I would give–(checks pocket change)–$1.78 if Mason would just dump Les into the fountain and say, “What a waste of space you are. Good luck getting an airline ticket out of here; after I use my enormous fame to blacken your reputation forever, no one will want to touch you.”

Heck, I could go as high as $2.56. Let me check under the couch cushions, and I might be able to sweeten that even more!

And…that’s all from me for this go-round. Thank you all for your indulgence and for being a great audience. Your contributions make this site what it is. And please, a warm round of applause for Epicus Doomus, who takes over the center seat starting Monday. Excelsior!

“Here’s a Quarter…

–call someone who cares.”

For the first time since time immemorial, there’s an actual punchline that’s kind of funny. A mangled aphorism, sure, but so much better than anything ever featured in Shankcraft.

The fact that the rest of it is stupid beyond measure is beside the point. Reviewers: “Yeah, I thought the movie was overly maudlin and treacly, the characters were loathsome, the production values are nil, and I was about to give it zero stars, but the quarter-finding scene turned it into a masterpiece of high art.”

I get it, Batiuk, every single trivial thing that involved Lisa is sacred, no matter what did (or didn’t) happen. It’s all part of some fantastic mosaic of incredibleness and awesomeness and every person alive (or dead) should go out and a) buy the hardback trilogy and b) give Batiuk all the awards that can possibly be awarded.

There’s no question in my mind that Batiuk is winding this thing down. The endless descents into utter trivia, treated as if they are gifts from the gods; the settling of old scores; the elevation of the hero characters; and the general disinterest he shows in his writing–all these things point to man who has spent his legacy and just can’t care anymore.