I wonder how Rocky got Funky and Holly to pose for photos while wearing Cory’s helmet? Oh…I see what’s going on here…never mind. I was just temporarily confused by Roxanne’s incredibly clunky and unwieldy dialog there in panel five. An understandable mistake. Too bad Cory is leaving right when he’s starting to get obnoxious again, but meh, good riddance otherwise.
Author: Epicus Doomus
V.P. at SoSF. Does not approve of new WP layout at all.
Starbuck Surprise
Wait until the cackling corporal learns that Starbuck Jones numero uno was once under his very own roof…until his idiot of a step-father sold it to save his crumbling pizza empire. Look at him there in panel three…he’s nearly as punchable as Les with those eyebrows, that sneer and the wild gesticulating. If he continues his incredible rise through the army’s ranks I think there’s little doubt he’ll eventually be “fragged”, which is military slang for “being killed by your own men on purpose because everyone hates you”.
Man, the big Starbuck Jones collection mega-arc was just astoundingly anti-climactic. No one can “frag” his own premise better than Batominc can. I mean yeah, it isn’t actually over yet but then again it pretty much is, you know?
Half The Fun Times Zero Is Still Zero
One has to wonder how things might have turned out for Cory had his mom expressed any sort of interest in his hobbies BEFORE he turned into an incorrigible, surly punk. But better late than never, I suppose, right? Comic book collecting: along with pizza and human misery, the glue that binds Westviewian families together. I love how Cory drops the tantrum (and adopts the standard side profile hatchet-face) as soon as he realizes his mother is blowing the Winkerbean bankroll on a comic collection he was too lazy and unmotivated to complete on his own. Now if only the annoying Funk-Man would just drop dead already, Cory would be all set.
And is it just me or is something really odd going on with Cory’s head in panel one? I don’t think regular healthy skulls are supposed to be shaped like that. Disturbing, to say the least.
Corporal Cory’s Conundrum
One has to wonder why Holly went to the trouble of shipping that comic book to Cory in Afghanistan if he was only going to come home and stash it a few weeks later anyway. One also wonders how someone “writing” a story like this would manage to overlook that rather glaring lapse of logic…unless you’re a regular FW reader, that is. Because if you are, you not only understand completely, but you wouldn’t settle for anything less. Or more, as the case may be.
“Holly purchases SJ comics for Cory” is the only moving part in this glacially paced little tale, so it was very helpful of The Corporal to once again explain via some clunky expository dialog that he is still a SJ collector who’s missing a few key issues, as that fact might have gotten lost amidst all that holiday excitement. Such a fine young man and so fortunate to have a mom who took a sincere interest in his hobbies as soon as he was 12,000 miles away. And with a gal like Rocky behind him there’s just no telling how high Cory could fly…teacher, pizza shop owner, comic book store guy…such a limitless future.
Just Ignore Tom, He Can’t Help Himself
What a perfect way to ring in a new year of FW: a bunch of completely pointless idiotic babbling that makes less sense every time you read it. I’m assuming that this is supposed to be yet another riff on “the parents just don’t understand”, I guess. Or maybe the fumes from all those felt tips gave The Author the (mistaken) impression that this a) makes sense and b) features humor (that Rocky drawing in panel two nonwithstanding). That studio clearly needs better ventilation, because this is the nonsensical jabbering of a madman. A really boring madman. I honestly have no idea what’s going on here and I’ve already wasted precious seconds of 2014 trying to figure it out. So on to the “huh?” pile it goes, perhaps future generations will be able to decipher it with better technology or something.
Son of Stuck Funky 