Author: TFHackett

Leave the Gun, Take the Calamari

Banana Jr. 6000
February 18, 2022 at 8:06 am
[E]veryone in Funky Winkerbean is just a schlub from Westview. Even the people who are supposed to be celebrities. And aren’t from Westview.

As lame as yesterday‘s punchline was (“She was a real hair-devil!”), it did meet the requirements of a joke. Barely. But I can’t tell what’s supposed to be funny about today’s strip. Panel one shows some promise: for a Hollywood movie star, that Mason “Crappy Internet” Jarre is a cheap bastard, all right. When the waiter (the mystery mug in this week’s masthead!) confirms his order, Mason appears stricken, and then proceeds to pointedly “correct” his server: “No…no appetizer!” as Marianne sits, smirks, and simpers. What the hell does Mason think comprises “one calamari”? Cut into rings, battered, and deep fried, with a side of marinara, squid can indeed be tasty. But a whole, cooked squid on a plate would appeal only to the most adventurous foodie, and that ain’t Mason. Calamari (or as we say it in Jersey, galamad) isn’t even on the appetizer menu at Musso and Frank, where this lunch is supposedly taking place. Nor is it  on the menu [PDF] at Luigi’s of Akron, which is just as well because their galamad would probably suck.

Hair I Go Again on My Own

The part of panel 1 Marianne will be played by a bedraggled young Dustin Hoffman in a black tank top.

That’s right, folks: Marianne Summers— sorry, Winters’ glamorous look doesn’t just happen! She requires a professional to style the dead grackle that sits atop her empty head. In fact, during the height of Covid, Marianne’s hair appointments were the only matter of sufficient urgency to get her to leave her Mom’s bungalow. Of course, this raises questions about where she was going to get her hair done, since the salons were all “shut down” too.

By way of some programming notes: as we head into spring, a few other notable occasions are coming up: least notably, April 11th marks the twelfth anniversary of the blog you are reading. That’s preceded by Tom Batiuk’s 75th birthday on March 14th, and on March 27th, Funky Winkerbean‘s 50th! Your friends here at SoSF will be planning…something, something fun I guess. Stay tuned and stay Funky. –TFH

 

It Was Good a Call

This is not a doctored panel.

Yeesh, the things Dead Skunk Head gets emotional about…One thing I’ll say about reading and commenting about FW on a regular basis: you can learn a lot. I never knew until this week what a comics “pull list” is, nor that you could download comics online. All this knowledge absorption  has worn me out. Luckily billytheskink rides to our rescue, starting Monday, bringing plenty of ammo for shooting all these fish in a barrel. Save a seat for in me in the comments section, won’t you? Happy holidays and thanks for reading.

Pull List Surprise

Mindy is the last person in the room who needs to apologize. Pete literally had his back turned as his fiancé got in a shouting match with a stranger. John was nowhere to be found while this was happening, and even after the jerk is gone still does not come out from behind the counter.

Sourbelly
December 8, 2021 at 10:52 pm
Why not just tell this weirdo the truth: “Sure, loser, we produce garbage, but we make 100x more money than you do, and we barely do any work! We win!”

Yesterday’s strip may have been the big F you to the critics, but today we get the victory lap. OK, we’re talking comic strips vs. comic books, but those checks from King Features Syndicate keep rollin’ in. And you and I may not have to pay for the privilege, but we snarkers are his most loyal readers. Not because we like it, though.