Category: Son of Stuck Funky

The Finals Countdown

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Now I’m officially (even more) confused. I thought Wally and Rachel were in that group Santa-hat photo yesterday but apparently I was mistaken, as it appears that I was actually seeing a younger Funky and Holly…I guess. Maybe it’d be easier to tell who these characters are supposed to be if he’d bother to differentiate between them somehow, like by giving them different noses or something. And now Bull…who looks exactly the same as he does now, BTW…is involved too. And HE always make things funnier…right? RIGHT? Sigh.

And that school bus parked outside can only mean one thing…it’s Crankshaft Crossover time again. Sigh. You can kind of see him there in panel two, along with anon-o-characters who are probably “Crankshaft” regulars although I wouldn’t know as I never read that strip. And I’m certainly not going to start now, either. In fact I usually totally forget Crankshaft even exists until he does these crossovers. And I prefer it that way, as “Crankshaft” blows. Sigh.

(And speaking of FW-related comic strips no one reads…get your fill right here!)

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Listless

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Every so often The BanMan throws one at you that just leaves you completely befuddled. I THINK that’s Wally, Rachel, Tony and Funky in that photo although I’m not 100% certain about that. I had to Google “Margo Lanes” and sure enough, Margo Lane was a character in an old-timey 1940’s serial, “The Shadow”. Surely there are four or five still-living people that might get that gag, although the odds on them also being FW readers are, uh…fairly slim, I’d say.

“Why was everyone wearing Santa hats…?”…I’m just gonna go way out on a limb here, Jess, but I’m guessing it was because it was CHRISTMAS TIME, which would be the most logical reason. Good thing she isn’t a detective, huh? I have no earthly idea where this could be going (other than “nowhere”) although “the gang at Montoni’s starts a bowling team” would probably be as good a guess as any. It’s also pretty obvious that Jess is spending WAY too much time in that pizza place too. Where have you gone, Boy Lisa? A boring strip turns its yawning eyes to you.

 

A Proven Whiner

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Ewww, yuck. The Delicate Genius is sequestered away in his dreary studio, slaving away on his cancer book prequel or sequel or whatever the f*ck it is, as Cayla waits on him hand and foot because he’s either too cheap or too lazy to buy himself a coffee maker for his garage office. What a dick. Hopefully this is just a one-off Sunday strip and not the start of yet another Dick Facey, The Delicate Genius arc, as I’m just not ready for another one of those yet. Get a load of that look on his face in panel three, all smug and self-satisfied with his wordsmithing, like he’s just too clever for this world. What a dick.

Boyo Boy What A Snore

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“Reclaim”? Uh yeah Jessica, whatever you say. Boy Lisa’s birthday promise seems a little ominous if you ask me, in my opinion he really ought to be recording all this wisdom “just in case”. I mean you never know when The BanMan might need to drop another shoe, you know? Anyway, that was certainly one of the more uneventful weeks in recent memory, as the characters did nothing but complain and eat pizza. Talk about soporific and pointless.

Check out Jessica’s hair in panel two…ladies and gentlemen, Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider!!! Man, he struggles with her hair even more than he does with Boy Lisa’s nose. It’s kind of difficult to believe that he just wasted an entire week on Jessica bringing pizza to California but then again, not really. And watching these two preparing to kiss is like watching a mother hamster preparing to eat her own babies, yuck.

Deep Ending On One Another

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Yep, back when Boy Lisa was dreaming about life in Hollywood he thought it’d all be pizza and comic books, but in reality it’s, uh….pizza and, ummmm, comic books. But Jessica is right on the money today, as Darin is at that point in a man’s life where he has to stop settling for the pizzeria lifestyle that defines so many of his peers and take a chance at making it big in the world of comic books and (zzzzzzzzzzz).

BanTom is often at his most unintentionally hilarious when he starts with this faux-profound claptrap…”life is so much different in your dreams”…LOL, good one Tom. Boy Lisa sure does whine a lot for a guy who’s had his last two life-salvaging jobs just drop into his lap out of nowhere, you know? Plus he has a wife that lets him do whatever he wants AND showers him with pizzas! And all he can do is sit there and bitch about how it isn’t all exactly how he envisioned it. What a big baby. Doesn’t he realize how close he came to being raised by Lisa and (gulp) Les Moore?