Sure It Was, Mason

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I wonder how many years he’s been waiting to finally find an excuse to use that gag? Well done, BanTom, well done. And what’s the deal with that tiny dining room table? That whole town is overrun with leaves every year but there isn’t a single table leaf to be had. Go figure.

And what the hell is up with Mason’s rapidly-receding hairline? I thought he’s supposed to be some sort of Hollywood pretty-boy, so what’s with the enormous forehead? Come on, Batom, the guy’s only been in town for like a day, the effects wouldn’t be hitting him THAT quickly. He kind of looks a little like Andrew Jackson there in panel one IMO.

Their reaction to Mason’s joke is actually totally logical if you think about it. They sit there stunned upon hearing Mason’s joke because let’s face it, how many actual jokes do these people hear? It’s like if you visited some long-lost indigenous tribe in some remote rainforest and showed them your smart phone. They just can’t comprehend it fully, there’s nothing to compare it with. Then they burst into laughter as if his joke was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard, which it very well could be. And Les is totally devastated as he realizes his dumb puns and stupid bits of wordplay will now be held to a whole different standard. So the whole thing is pretty plausible IMO. In a way, Mason Jarr is their new god. Now all he needs to do is get his hands on the holy scrolls aka Holly’s SJ collection and he’ll rule that town.

Pachyderp

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Ugh. Someone needs to confiscate Summer’s thesaurus. “Pachyderm in the parlor”…yikes almighty that’s just awful. Not even a big-headed kid as lame as Summer could utter anything that dumb in “real life”. Then perhaps Les could suggest a drug test for Keisha, who’s obviously been dipping into her mom’s Xanax or Thorazine stash, although I can’t really fault her for that if it is indeed the case.

Most importantly, though, someone needs to tell Mason to pay more attention while climbing those bannister-free stairs, because he appears to be a second away from taking a pretty bad spill. And you DO NOT want to get sick and/or injured in THAT town, trust me. That Taj Moore-hal is a death trap as it is, just ask Lisa. Yeah, I know she’s dead but still, she’ll probably be around shortly. Which reminds me, whatever you do there Mason, do NOT open the second door on the right because if the breeze blows out the candles on Les’ Lisa shrine, you won’t survive the night.

A Door, A Jarr

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And, after an absolutely mind-bending two week pause, the big Mason Jarr/Starbuck Jones arc is back. Surprisingly the arc picks up with Mason actually arriving. I assumed we’d probably get a few more weeks of Dickface and Co. babbling about it, then another two week “wow, driving to the airport is awful” sub-arc before he finally showed, but Bantom must have been feeling revitalized after all that crossover action. This is like warp speed for a FW arc.

TB is really holding firm with the “ancient shopworn old TV sitcom tropes” theme of this arc, isn’t he? The Moore ladies are all aflutter as Mason politely pretends to undress them with his starry eyes as Les looks on disdainfully as usual, disgusted once again with everyone’s complete inability to be as cool as he is around his Hollywood hotshot pal. Keisha appears to be in the throes of a convulsion while Summer is overwhelmed by being in the presence of a strong male figure for the first time in her young life. As far as Cayla goes, it’s about what I expected from her, minus the lemonade. What a strong group of believable female characters.

The Nitwit’s Guide To The Funkyverse

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Owen: the dirty-looking one with the goofy hat.

Cody: Owen’s pathetic sidekick who rarely gets dialog these days.

Alex: the girl!

John: Becky’s husband, owner of Komix Korner, all-around putz. Known as Skunk Head due to the hair.

Komix Korner: Westview’s premier creepy comic book shop and main loitering spot for local losers.

Holly: Funky’s wife, slow on the uptake, needs a real hobby.

The answer to the ultimate FW question? Zero times zero equals zero.

Hmmm, when did they legalize weed in Ohio? I can’t bash this one too much as it’s an upgrade over the last two week’s worth of aimless pointless meandering. At least there’s sort of a point, kinda. Although if you’re not familiar with Douglas Adams, you’re obviously going to be lost here. But hey, they’re discussing a NON-comic NON-Les book here, so let’s just enjoy it for variety’s sake, OK? This might not happen again for years, if not decades.

It’s Called Writing-Up, People

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Another terrible joke in a terrible arc about two terrible characters from two terrible comic strips. What is the joke supposed to be here? Is the blonde student supposed to be someone I’m supposed to recognize or is it just the idea of a student reprimanding the two morons that’s supposed to be the gag? These jokes are getting alarmingly bad, like in a “you should see a doctor” kind of way. Hopefully this marks the end of the band convention arc because I don’t want to see how much worse this could potentially get.