Quo Tendimus?

spacemanspiff85
August 24, 2020 at 12:56 am
You know, if you sit on the ground coughing while a massive wall of fire comes towards, and you have your back to a cave that you know is there and actually came to visit, and you just sit there and wait for the fire to take you rather than running away from it, like, maybe, into the cave, I think you deserve what happens.

I’m beginning to suspect that, in his solo travels thru the Cali desert, Jff might’ve accidentally ingested some peyote. ‘Cause he is just trippin’ balls. Pretty much the state yours truly must have been in when first viewing The Phantom Empire. The frail, Benday-cheeked elder Jff seems quite apprehensive about being swept up in robot arms, while Jff’s boyhood alter ego eagerly throws his arms around the robot, which must feel like hugging ductwork.

A programming note: The comic for next Wednesday (and for every Wednesday going forward) will not drop until after midnight Eastern, so look for a placeholder post. Kyping the daily Funky strips in advance recently became harder to do; more about that when we roll into  September.

None Like It Hot

Maddest of mad props to ComicBookHarriet for her timely and courageous reporting on this wildfire that has ravaged a huge swath of southern California.

If I can ever replicate and distribute this font, I shall name this font Reckless Death Stunts.

OK: well, I sorta lied yesterday when I commented about having watched The Phantom Empire (heretoafter referred to as TPE) as part of a midnight show at the old Capitol Theatre in Passaic, New Jersey. There I may indeed have taken in an episode or two, mixed in with some choice Three Stooges shorts, wacky commercials, and Star Trek bloopers. But this was the late 1970’s, kids. And, blame the microdot I guess, but for the life of me I cannot recall a whole helluva lot about TPE. Do you suppose Tom Batiuk get turned on to The Phantom Empire as a  stoned young Kent Stater, maybe as part of a midnight show at the Agora? Or did he discover it as a striped shirted, balding young boy, much like the one he draws as Jff’s boyhood alter ego in today’s strip? So stressed out by the obtruding smoke and flame is Jeff that now his hallucination is having hallucinations. Come to think of it, back in May we had Funky hallucinating a robot while jogging. That’s kind of an odd thematic well to which to return. These humanoid, robotic apparitions, then,  will likely turn out to be in reality some abandoned movie gear that Jff spotted while hiking in.

Anyway, I never did watch my dollar store TPE DVD, and  I’m not about to YouTube all “Twelve Dazzling Chapters” (each between 20-30 minutes in length; the Wikipedia entry about TPE has a link to a 70-minute feature edited from the serial).  The Phantom Empire trailer that I’ve shared below makes the serial look much more like an oater than a sci fi thriller: more Roy Rogers than Buck Rogers, more Buffalo Bill Cody than Commander Cody. As you watch the trailer, be sure to savor the truly excellent typography of the title cards.

Note: Masone Jarre died on the way back to his boat.

Link to Strip When It Drops.

Sundays get no preview. Too bad. Maybe it’s seven panels of Les and Marianne sipping coffee on a sailboat while the world burns. Or maybe it’s a loving homage to the poster of ‘The Phantom Empire’.

You guys ever seen it? I found it on YouTube, and it’s…um…different. I mean, I guess I can see the charm if you like singing cowboys and 30’s cheese. But it’s such a weird thing for a 65-70 year old man to fetishize having seen as a child, a movie serial that would have been past 30 years old then. I guess I grew up in the 90’s watching Star Wars, but modern movie sensibilities are there in Star Wars. It’s still pacey and exciting. There is no point in Star Wars where Luke Skywalker stops the action to sing an entire song about the animals on Noah’s Ark.

I can see a teen or young adult developing an appreciation, ironic or genuine, for something like ‘The Phantom Empire.’ But the movie is borderline unwatchable for modern kids, and I don’t think it would be that much more palatable for kids growing up in the 60’s.

Whelp, I’m pretty much burned out on all this nonstop Lesplotation action. Our glorious leader TFHackett is taking over tomorrow to lead the charge of the Thunder Riders. “To The Rescue!”

ComicBookHarriet powering down now.

Passive Patricide

Link to today’s strip

Is there any character in this strip as thick-skulled as Mindy? She’s been standing outside the Bedbug Hotel with Pete long enough for Masone to drive from the Channel Island Harbor Marina (The nearest marina north along the coast from Malibu) to, judging by the view, the Hollywood foothills.

I know Comics Curmudgeon has been going nuts trying to parse out the geography of this arc, but here’s my take on it:

So, of course, given this map, it was entirely reasonable for Mindy and Pete to stand and wait for the minimum of two hours it would take Masone’s Starbuckmobile to drive BACK THROUGH THE FIRE to pick them up after dropping off Marianne and Les.

Only for Mindy to then remind her friends that her dad was hiking in Griffith Park.

Pete is smiling in relief in panel one, and suddenly worried in panel two. So unless he has the attention span of a goldfish, Mindy is only bringing this up now. And she seems at a complete loss as to what to do next.  So she’s going to let her fiancee and his pal decide if and how they should alert emergency personnel.  Or is she expecting them to go charging through the brushfire themselves?

Truly, dumb as a box of sponges. Because a box of rocks at least has some weight.

Fuel for Thought.

Link to today’s strip

And here it is. We’ve had to suffer through an entire week of Les whining to Marianne about one woman who died at least 15 years ago in strip time (Edit: twenty-three, ED), while the world is literally burning around them. As day turns to night with nary a word from Cindy, Masone, Pete, or Mindy.

You people have been saying it all week: Marianne has been blandly listening to Les whinge about his manpain, instead of worrying about friends, family, coworkers, or her own property. The girl had more going on for herself when she almost threw herself off the top of the Hollywood sign.

And all so Marianne can watch some video tapes that Batiuk will, no doubt, forget were transferred to digital years ago. So many problems with this. But two stick out in my mind.

One, why didn’t he let her or Masone watch some of the tapes to begin with? It’s implied that some tapes are very private and others are meant for more public consumption, as seen in this strip from Darin’s birthday. Why did you ever think of this as an all or nothing thing?

Two, are you now going to let her watch all of the tapes? Even the tapes that weren’t meant for you? Have you seen the tapes addressed to Summer directly? Or the tape specifically for CauCayla? Are you prepared to override the rights of Lisa, Cayla, and Summer, to have their own private messages remain private?

Who are we kidding? Of course you are. The sum total of everything Lisa ever was or wished is now yours to use, abuse, and change however you see fit. You can tell yourself that you think Lisa would have wanted you to share material that SHE SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU IN PERSON was private. Anything so Marianne can have important moments like this inform how she plays Dead St. Lisa.