SoSF Guest Author for a Day Contest: Vote Here!

Click here to read Monday’s snark.

On behalf of myself and TeamSoSF: many thanks to everyone who took a turn posting this week! After six years in the snark biz I was happy to invite some intrepid readers into the wheelhouse, and the result was some epic critique. The rest of y’all are invited to cast your votes, with the winner to be announced Monday around 10PM EDT. Thanks again and happy voting!

First prize: a hardcover edition of Lisa’s Story: The Last Shoe autographed by Tom Batiuk!

Second prize: Two hardcover editions of…just kidding! It’s a “WILD About Reading!” button, designed by TB from a 1991 literacy campaign!

To refresh your memory: here are your guest authors…

Monday: HeyItsDave, “Not By The Hair Of My Chinny Chin Chin…”

Tuesday: paypahclip, “Rear Window”

Wednesday: rembrandt36, “From Your Perspective (Point)”

Thursday: spacemanspiff1985, “Charming the Angry Cliff”

Friday: HAnzMFG, “I…D…U…L…L!”

Saturday: stuckfunky, “I prefer my wordplay with a pink center”

I prefer my wordplay with a pink center

Set-up: The story arc moves closer to a conclusion as Cindy’s tactic straight from the “Fletch School of Journalism” pays off – what with the fearless invasion of privacy and all.  Cindy, Mason, and Pete go face to face with the elusive Cliff ‘H’ Anger and a classic ‘Who are you? (Journalist-turned blogger) Who am I? (Unemployed star of stage and screen) Whats with the haircut? (Mark Davis’s hair stylist did it!) exchange that plays out with predictable Certified Grade A TB-word play.

Punchline: Meat jokes? Really?

Don’t encourage him, Mason – the dopey manchild to your left could have input on the script (assuming he doesn’t get the same Hollywood treatment as Les) and if you start to buy into his wordplay, this Starbuck Jones reboot will feature typical awkward zingers such as : “Done enough for you?” and “Take the Xaxian to the hold – don’t forget to grill!”  This straight to laserdisc video will move plenty of units…but I digress…

An unsophisticated plebe such as myself can’t do the calculus needed to estimate Cliff H Anger’s age..but I’ll set out variables for the SoSF faithful : 1) The serial was produced during the height of the cold war.  2) Cliff H. Anger was likely in his…20’s? 3) The current FW timeline is…today? Ten years ago? 4) If Cindy is Funky’s age…how old is Mason? 5) Should Cliff H. Anger really be living alone at his advanced age and why is he younger looking than Harry Dinkle?  6) Wait…what was the question?

In any event, we’re bound to see this play out in classic Westview custom: Cliff H. Anger will be offered a cameo role – giving him faint hope that he won’t have to sell memorabilia nobody wanted in the first place.  Now…keep in mind this role is being offered by the lead who, as far as we can tell, is neither the producer nor the casting director.  Cliff H. Anger will fly all the way out to Hollywood only to be told by some suit that there’s no place for him in the film…and he’ll travel back to New York City even deeper in debt.  Cute.

 

I…D…U…L…L!

HAnzMFG here, looking at today’s strip, and wondering: Does Tom Batiuk ever actually read aloud what he writes for dialog? Does it really count as a pun if you just slowly spell out a homophone? If an inoffensive “joke” is uttered in an old guy’s apartment and nobody smirks at it, was it even told?

Alas, we don’t even know if the cops have been called. Cindy happily introduces herself as if nothing’s unusual about harassing and entering an old man’s apartment via window after initially being denied entry at the front door.

But thank you, Cindy, for at last cutting to the chase, and sparing the long story of Buddyblogs and fading beauty and absurd discriminatory workplace firings. We’re here for what’s really important: the story of an old B-movie actor, who is possibly going to be press-ganged into Stan Lee-ing in an equally bad remake. Excelsior!

“I…D…L…E…?”…

Horsehead_Facepalm

Charming the Angry Cliff

Hey, everyone. SpacemanSpiff85 giving it a shot today. All week I was afraid I’d get a full panel of antique Starbuck Jones memorabilia drawn by whoever Batiuk last cornered at a con, so I’m glad I actually have something to write about today.

So…Mason just sat on the window sill like that? And not just while he was watching Cindy on the balcony, but even after she went inside Anger’s apartment and talked to him, which probably took a little while? He didn’t wonder if maybe he should be concerned for her well being? While he had Funky still on the phone? And Pete just stood there awkwardly in the hallway, probably daydreaming about how the old Batom writers used to break into people’s apartments through fire escapes, back in yesteryear? As dumb and typically Batiukian as all this is, it is kind of great seeing Mason’s sad little expression as his fiancée’s ex-husband basically says he still finds Cindy attractive. And who doesn’t Funky have the hots for? Not Holly, as far as I can tell, but his fitness instructor, ex-wife, and his son’s fiancée clearly do it for him.

And the multi-cellular organism bit is another dumb bit of what Batiuk thinks qualifies as wordplay. Single celled organisms don’t find her charming? Plants and mold and lichen do? I kind of wonder if Batiuk originally had something along the lines of “Who wouldn’t?” or “Him, too?” but thought that was too creepy and unfunny even for him. Or maybe he just thinks “multicelled organism” is impressive science talk, like “anti-matter brownie” or “time pool”.

And finally: is she a hag or a seductress charming her way into stranger’s apartments with her beauty, Batiuk? I’m sure in a week’s time she’ll be moaning over how she’s far too worn and decrepit to be the Vera Moon to Mason’s Starbuck.

From Your Perspective (Point)

Hello, Rembrandt36 here – longtime lurker, sometimes poster, sometimes defender of TB (but usually not). My thanks to TFH for the lovely accommodations at the local Motel 6 where I am writing this post; the chewed piece of bubble gum on my pillow was a nice touch.

But now down to business. When we last left the Dynamic Trio yesterday, it looked as if Cindy was going to jump to her death, thus ending her misery of appearing in this comic strip. Today we see no such luck. She has in fact climbed on to the fire escape to try to communicate with the legend that is known as… Cliff Anger.

Before I address the riveting story we get today, let’s be upfront about one thing. We’ve got a lot of really pretty pink bricks drawn in perspective. With that we also get a highly detailed fire escape walk and stairwell to add to the charm. For whatever talent TomBat lacks in keeping the look of his characters consistent, he lavishes upon the location here. Bravo. Although I must admit the window on the lower level looks like it has decided to slide off the wall.

But now we get to the meat and potatoes of the matter. Starting from the left we have Mopey Pete looking like he is trying to bust a move in an inky black void. Mason is speaking into a blackboard eraser to Funky, telling him that he needs to talk some sense into his ex. It should be noted that Mason is sitting at a really weird can-this-happen-in-real-life stance on the window sill (Folks, never set your Jarrs that close to the ledge – they could fall and break).

Meanwhile Cindy is communicating to Cliff through the window. Either that or she has breathed on the glass and is now drawing doodles on the fogged surface. In the last panel we see that Pa Winkerbean has wandered away from the nursing home and has answered the phone at Montoni’s. He – what? That’s supposed to be Funky answering the phone? Huh. Anyway, the audience gets a side-mouthed smirking retort at the expense of Cindy. Otherwise known as business as usual with this comic.