Where Dreams Go to Be Smashed to Flinders

Link to today’s strip.

One thing I neglected to mention about yesterday’s episode…and I have to confess, I didn’t mention it because it seemed so ordinary that comment never occurred to me.  But later I realized that it was ordinary in the real world, and not in Funky Winkerbean.   In Funky Winkerbean, it was the proverbial sore thumb, and it shoulda stuck out like one.

Of course, I’m talking about the fact that Becky got a smart-phone app, and she was happy with it.  She was pleased with what she got, and looked forward to using it.

It was not, repeat not, something substandard that had foisted upon her by an uncaring school administration.  She didn’t even moan once!

By way of contrast, look upon the Dozing Dullards out in Hollywood, who upon hearing that the movie they are working might be certain of box-office success, can do nothing but bemoan the extra work that will befall them.  Oh, the horrors of success!  Oh My GOD I have to work even more?

Well, Pete–and you too, Darrin–there’s a very simple solution that will cause all your problems to disappear, and you can leap about in unending joy.

Quit.  Go on up to Clay Breakdance (or whatever his name is) and tell him you’re tired of all the effort that is expected of you, and that you (so far) seem to have failed to provide.  You’re both tired of working, and it’s really cutting into your nap time, and your nostalgic day-dreaming about Bantom comics.  I’m sure his lips will curl just a bit as he accepts your resignations.    Clay will be happy to bring in a crew who actually want to work, and don’t look upon every suggestion as a knife in the back.

And there’s a bonus for both of you!  When the movie is released some months hence, and proves to be a box-office smash, you can bemoan the fact that you were cheated out of all that money.  And that, no doubt, will trigger even more flashbacks.

Win-win, I say.  Now, now, I know those are dirty words in the Funkyverse, but as they say–faint heart never won bitter regrets.

(It kind of makes me wonder what sort of movie Pete and Darin would make if they had complete control–what sort of cinematic turd would satisfy their notion of purity.  I should note that it doesn’t make me wonder enough to actually see that movie, or hear them talk about it.)

PS:  No idea who the very detailed gentleman is, but he sure seems to be someone from Real Life.  Perhaps someone who lost a bet–that’s my guess, anyway.

Who’ll Stop The Rain

Link to today’s strip.

Gah, six panels to extol some piece of software–not long after Harry decided that software was worthless for anything human beings do.  Tom Batiuk must be really impressed with some app he’s recently downloaded, because otherwise this episode would end with a smirking Dinkle saying something like, “Well, you could just look outside,” or “My system of yelling at them is better,” or some terrible pun.  That’s the best thing about today’s strip–Loathsome Dinkle doesn’t get a single line of dialogue.

I recall (from comments here) that the Battle of the Bands was always rained out.  So we’ve gone from showing a running gag every year to just talking about a running gag?  Huh.

Take Another Little Piece of My Pulitzer, Baby

Link to today’s strip.

At first I thought Les was admonishing Naughty in his office, in a private conference so as to steer her away from Chullo’s former crime (I seem to remember “It says Wikipedia right at the top.”  “So that’s what gave it away.”).

But then I note Nice sitting there, and I realize he’s actually berating her in front of the entire class.   Apparently being a dick is nothing compared to being Les Moore.  That’s quite a level of ass-hattery to deploy against a student who’s barely been in his class for a week.  I guess when Les has to smug his superiority (“I am familiar with all the Pulitzer-award winners…as well as several deserving nominees…”) woe betide those who happen to be in his view-finder.

Which is what makes the third panel so…delicious.  Naughty is full-on denying Les his ability to give a half-lidded-eye smirk!  She is being a dick right back, almost effortlessly!  And look how Les, denied his pun-portunity, takes it!  Look how he is practically boiling with rage, barely able to contain his fury at being de-punned.  If this strip was set 100 years in the future, his next line would be “Jetson!  YooooOOOOOOOOOOOuu’rre FIRED!!”  You might think the impact of panel three is lessened by not seeing his full squeeming visage, but I would offer instead that it allows us to imagine it.  And what I imagine is glorious.

I think I have a new favorite character in the Funkyverse.

 

Say The Secret Word

Link to today’s strip.

For once, the wordplay isn’t terrible, though I imagine it’s awkward as hell to say out loud.   But it doesn’t seem like a real problem here–if you can’t think of a rhyme for a word, choose a different word that says the same thing for which you can think of a rhyme.  Unless…unless Les has given them a list of words that they have to use in their work?   I can think of several he would choose–Lisa, cancer, smirk, no one can understand me, roses, December, endings, earned, and of course the word “pun” itself.  Lists the students are fantasizing about–dickhead, douchebag, punchable, smug….

What makes this an exceptional episode is panel two.  Aside from Nice, everyone looks stymied and miserable, even on the verge of panic as they craft poems destined to be punned over by Les.  Les himself–now there is a man just beginning to climb the hill of self-loathing, and that look on his face is awesome.  The dawn of self-awareness never looked so deserved.

Thursday’s Child Has Far to Go

Link to today’s strip.

Thursday’s strip was not available for preview, but one assumes that it will be more Nice-N-Naughty contrasts as they banter with a bemused Les.  Smirks will be had, and all will have those hooded half-eyes that I really, really hate.  So, fellow snarkers, in a short while, the game’s afoot!