‘Nuts to You, Westview

Memo to future Westview High School Reunion Committees: do not let Barry Balderman recommend a DJ.

Guest Page Turner Author
July 5, 2015 at 11:41 pm
…All the venues were booked, my ass! On a Sunday evening of a holiday weekend? !?!

I guess “holiday weekend class reunions” are a big thing in Westview, as are poorly structured DJ contracts. Anyone who calls themselves professional, “state of the ark” equipment or not, would surely risk legal action and terrible word-of-mouth for such shenanigans. But Les and company’s anger is directed not at the DJ but at the school that lured him away.

Gym Jam

The red and blue balloons (though the school colors are red and white) have been filled, and the kraft paper and tempera paint banner has been haphazardly Scotch-taped to the folded up bleachers. Everything appears ready for the coming reunion. You’d expect Reunion Committee Chairman Les to be displaying his base-running, smugly satisfied smirk. But Les implies that the reunion planning has been fraught with problems. OK, well, his committee did forget to choose a venue, though this issue was easily resolved (albeit to the detriment of Westview’s basketball-loving youth). Les has overcome his lack of a Facebook page and a suitable high school portrait, and has managed to delegate the setting up of the Lisa shrine, yet he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. And here comes Barry Balderman to drop that shoe…

Bushkaball

My fellow bloggers out there are familiar with a WordPress feature called “post tags.” Adding tags to a post “aids in navigation and allows posts and to be grouped with others of similar content.” For example, you might notice the tags for today’s post are listed this post, just before the comments, like so:

posttags

It’s a fun and handy feature, and you can even display the tags in a “tag cloud” (on this page it’s in the right-hand sidebar, under the heading “Most Tagged.” The tag cloud displays your most-used tags, and renders them in larger or smaller font sizes depending how often they are used (note the size of “Les” and “Montoni’s“).

I mention this because I regret never having created a tag called “Last panel in which everyone exchanges puzzled expressions in response to what a main character has just said.” The problem, see, is that post tags should be succinct, and there’s really no way, short of an acronym, to shorten that description. And the “LPIWEEPEIRTWAMCHJS” tag would be used a lot: in pretty much every strip that’s set in Mr. Moore’s or Mr. Kablichnick’s or Mr. Dinkle’s classroom, for starters.

We Both Are So Excited ‘Cause We’re

I will admit that I’m maybe the only one around SoSF who likes the way Batiuk draws a kiss. That, and the backs of peoples’ ears, are on the very short list of things that TB, in my opinion, gets limnistically right. I know some are repulsed by Batiuk’s habit of erasing the border between the kissing characters’ faces, making them appear to be fused together at the lips. And maybe Cindy’s arm around Mason’s neck is awkward. But the closed or half-closed eyes, the attitudes of the heads…there’s a sweetness. I’m not kidding.

But we’re not letting Tom totally off the hook. Though we totally presume that these two jumped into the sack at the earliest opportunity, today’s airport kiss is meant to signify true romance. But she’s expressing a wish “to be reunited with” Mason when a) they haven’t spent all that much time together, and b) she hasn’t left yet.

★★★Son of Stuck Funky wishes everyone a Safe and Happy Independence Day!★★★

Book of Excuses

“Off book” is when an actor or actress no longer needs their script to rehearse a play or performance piece, having memorized the work.

Thankfully nobody involved with the Starbuck Jones movie has invoked any kill fee, and the project has made it to the rehearsal stage. This affords Mason the perfect excuse to blow off The Coming Reunion. Cindy, love Mason though the does, is perfectly fine with not having to compete to be the center of attention, as you just know she’s been at every other reunion.

Les’s brother Wes Moore makes a cameo appearance in today’s strip!