Goop Rage

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“Never seen such vitriolic memes before”…obviously not a SoSF regular, eh Pete? Well here’s a little vitriol for ya, pal…you suck, your comic book sucks, you’re a big mopey whiner, you talk to yourself out loud and everyone hates you. Feel better now? I sure do.

Man, does this one really take me back (sniff). Some of you fellow snarkers of a certain age know exactly what I’m talking about here. Back “in the day”, we didn’t have all these wifi doohickeys and high def plasma phones with the MP-whatevers. No, when we wanted to go online we’d all gather around the monitor and watch the black & white hand-drawn webpages flicker by together, as a family. There was just something about it all being on paper that made it so much better, you know? Paper that YOU drew on and that YOU decided was good enough…yep. Those were the days.

This one is amazing because he actually self-sabotages two separate jokes here. First he kills the crash dummy gag by drawing the most insane rendering of a web page ever. Then he craters gag two by choosing Gwyneth Paltrow as the least likely person to leave a hate comment on an online comic book nerd forum. I mean sure, she’s an unlikely candidate to do such a thing, there’s no doubt about that. But it just seems like such an odd and random choice, doesn’t it?

He should have used “Tom Batiuk” in that joke instead. That would have been pretty goddamned funny IMO. I mean come on, that would just blow everyone’s mind, right? “Hey, I got a tweet from Buddy The Dog…”i will bite you on sight you suck”!”. “You will never amount to anything you fraud – Le Chat Bleu”. “Finally, a writer the public hates more than me, love Mr. Moore”. “Thanks Pete I am now ruined – Chester The Chiseler”. You get the idea.

For A Good Time Call Anyone But These Two Guys

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So, what’s the “modern day equivalent” of a FW comic strip? Overdosing on muscle relaxers? Too much turkey and wine? Going to jury duty? Melatonin? Ambien?

So who’s more annoying today? The ever-mopey Pete, who acts like his dream job is nothing but pure torture? Or Boy Lisa sitting around in his socks making obnoxious snide faces as he uses the internet to complain about the internet? It’s a toss-up IMO, although Boy Lisa definitely has punch-ability to spare today. He’s almost as insufferable as that mother of his used to be. And if he’s so smart, why is he still working at Montoni’s? What a bio-step dick.

All of this nonsense might be slightly less incoherent if the whole thing wasn’t Pete’s idea in the first place. But Ban Tom got all caught up in breaking The Internet’s balls, so things like continuity and events that actually occurred in the story were pushed aside so he could take more shots at…well, us, I guess. The funniest thing about this one is that after blowing his wad in panel two, he tries to take a shot at “editors” just for the hell of it, which of course falls completely flat because readers with actual functional memories will recall that his editors were all 100% behind the idea. Again, he ignores facts in favor of taking a jab at something, then fails at that too. What a sad and pathetic debacle.

Happy April Fools’ Day!

Hey gang, TFH popping in…today’s strip wasn’t available for preview, but it’s probably about Mr. Sponge’s clone and it probably sucks. I just wanted to give the readers a heads up that April 9th marks the fifth anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky. Stay tuned for some kind of fun contest announcement to win a very mediocre prize! Thanks for reading and stay Funky!

The Clone Bores

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Well, there isn’t much to say about this one as it’s just a continuation of yesterday’s Owen reaction scene featuring the “geek rage” that Tom Ban finds so very amusing. At least someone does, I guess. I mean sure, “teenager wildly overreacts to relatively trivial development” has been a standard FW trope since day one so bagging on today’s strip for that is like complaining about the way Ban Tom draws noses, it’s more or less a constant.

The only real question is where is he going (if anywhere) with this? My guess is he’ll do five days of this then have Owen say he’ll definitely keep buying Mister Sponge anyway as an astonished John looks on like he’s never seen an irrational comic book dork before. It’s the simplest and thus most likely outcome. I guess he could segue into Owen going online and acting like one of the whackadoos and twit tots he was mocking a few weeks ago, but that seems like an awful lot of activity and plot momentum for FW. He could also cut back to Pete and his reaction to the reaction to his comic book, but again, that’s a lot of activity for a weekly FW arc.

What I don’t get is what he’s trying to say about “comic book fans” with this stuff. Are we supposed to laugh along with them for being the lovable little comic book-obsessed scamps they are? Are we supposed to be laughing AT them for being such moronic gullible losers? It’s all very unclear sometimes.

WHY???!

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Ban Tom Inc., the undisputed master of dropping stories, taking inexplicable breaks then going back to the old story again later, picks up Pete’s “Mister Sponge” comic arc with the issue already published and ready for sale. That sure was fast. And our old pal Owen now represents the army of devoted comic book dorks exploding in outrage over TAMS’ outrageous plot twist (the death of Absorbine Jr. or whatever it was), the very same comic book dorks Bantom was mocking just a few short weeks ago. So, should we be chuckling (ha) at his daffy comic book fan antics or should we be mocking him for being such a huge nerd? Is that way too much thought to be putting into the latest installment of Ban Tom’s ever-expanding list of fictional titles within a fictional title?

“Hot off the rack”. So is there some sort of comic book protocol that dictates that a new comic book must be placed in a comic book rack by a trained comic book professional before it can be sold to a comic book fan? Or is it like a regional thing, like how you can buy fireworks in Pennsylvania but only if you’re from out of state? I know, I know, too much thought again.