The Autumn Lard

Today’s strip

The falling lard falls on his buttocks

Like the fall leaves of red and gold

I see your lips, they’re cyanotic

The glass of wine you used to hold

(with apologies to Nat King Cole Jacques Prévert & Johnny Mercer)

What’s this‽ It looks as though Funky Winkerbean has collapsed before the race has even begun, because of course he has.

Les: Is Funky okay?

The Universe: Of course he’s not, you fool! Did you think you could drag his obese, sedentary arse out of that pizza parlor once a month and turn him into an athlete? I’ll kill him and all of you, if it’s the last thing I do! Mwahahahahah!

Not to spoil anything, but you won’t believe how this ends. No, really: you simply won’t find it believable. The verisimilitude is quite literally incredible.

Update 11 October 2013:

Nat Cole? Jacques Prevert!—gleeb

Moia Summer, Moia Problems

Today’s strip.

Get yer Funky Winkerbean tropes here! Let’s see how many I can list:

  • The world’s greatest videographer once again has no camera and no one documenting her big event (Roberta’s dad is a better videographer, in that he occasionally shoots some video).
  • A lame pun!
  • The falling leaves…
  • The artist suddenly forgets how to draw a character (Der-hey! He suddenly looks like Conan O’Brien in panel 1).
  • The smirking moai, usually an act of Les, is now Summer’s turf (panel 2, left).

This one’s not a trope (yet), but what has been going on with that banner? Its right side is suspended by—magic? a ginormous protrusion from Derwood’s occipital skull? writing?

Westview’s Only Growth Industry

Today’s strip

According to a UCSF study, when it comes to funding medical research

Depression ($719 M), injuries ($691 M), and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease ($613 M) were the most underfunded.

If you visit this NIH funding report and click on one of the table headings to sort by actual funding, you’ll find that cancer research is well funded. Given how depressing this serious serial art form is, I might have a suggestion for a more worthy target for Funky Winkerbean’s charitable efforts.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to encourage donations to fund cancer treatment and research. It’s a generous and kind thing to do. But the constant droning of Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa… mentally drowns out the actual cause.

Not to mention poor Cayla (I thought I said not to mention her!). She’s barely visible in the background of panel 1, joyfully carrying a carton of T-shirts bearing her predecessor’s name, all the while about to be struck by a no-doubt suicidal falling leaf. At least the colorist remembered to use Fall colors for the leaves this time. Cayla’s daughter, of whom Cayla is the mother, is a barely differentiated smudge against the backdrop of The Gazebo in Westview (panel 2).

The titular character appears today, prominently displaying the effects of the contextual reality field that ensures he’s trim enough to run whenever the plot requires it. Don’t fret, though: he’ll be 75 pounds heavier the moment he returns to work at Montoni’s.

Summer Blue Times

Today’s strip

Les: Was [Lisa’s journal] hard to read?

Summer: No… It’s funny, insightful…

This strip… It’s sad, pathetic…

I’m puzzled, snarky…

That is I’m skeptical, confused…

Summer: The only sad part was getting to the end and realizing that Mom wasn’t going to be writing in it anymore.

Really‽ That was the only sad part‽

Snarkers! Let’s help Summer remember the other sad parts!

Lisa’s Legacy ’Lash

Today’s strip

Ouch! I just got narrative whiplash! For a strip that usually proceeds with the pace of a slow IV drip, it’s really unexpected to go from zombie prom, back to football for a day, and the very next day to Lisa’s Legacy Run. Has our favorite auteur suddenly decided to add cinematic flash cuts and literary techniques like simultaneous parallel subplots? Or is he just doing something incomprehensible like the time he teleported Les off of Kilimanjaro for a day to name Funky’s car?

Ah, Westview! Think of the tropes we’ll see today!

  • ¼-inch from reality.

    Check! Lisa’s Legacy Run, an event that briefly leaked out into reality, exists no more in Real Ohio, but persists like sciatica in Funky Ohio.

  • Being a “reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”

    Check! Cayla’s daughter and Lisa’s daughter are back from college, to help organize the race. In October. During midterms, I’d guess. Of course, we don’t know what’s been going on in these young women’s college lives, because all we’ve seen of that is them moving into a dorm room. You know: the most interesting, most sensitive thing young people do in college—move their stuff into a small room.

  • Cayla’s existence subordinated to Lisa.

    Check! She’s literally holding Lisa’s name before her.

  • A falling leaf.

    Check! Can you find it? Panel 2, center of window pane. It’s tricky, because the auteur and the colorist couldn’t be bothered to discuss how the falling leaf should be red or yellow, not green.

Hi! As the great Steve Martin once said (approximately): “I know it sounds insincere to say, ‘Hey! It’s really great to be here!’ But hey! It’s really great to be here.” I hope I shall snark entertainingly during my guest stint!