alcohol – Page 7 – Son of Stuck Funky

Killer Of Joy

Nope, it’s not TFH, not yet. Your old buddy Epicus is back for another week of snark and Batiukian torture! Our reward for riding out the ponderous and highly annoying Frankie Mega Arc? You guessed it: brutal, anachronistic Les Moore wordplay! I miss Frankie already. An entire week of these two nitwits jogging around exchanging awful jokes and terrible puns might just shove me right over the edge. Come back, TFH, all is forgiven!

“Killjoy was here”? Took me a few seconds but I eventually realized he was referencing “Kilroy was here”, which, in case you’re unaware, was a pre-internet “meme” from the WWII era. Which means that the target audience for that gag lies comfortably within the “over 75” age bracket. Sigh. Too bad Funky didn’t drink the beer, it might have made this interesting. But then again, probably not.

It's Called Research

“Sure, you’re researching this whole documentary about the father you lost…and when I say ‘researching’, of course I mean glomming a free copy of Les’ first book.” At least we learn why Jessica thinks Darin should reconnect with the father who “lost” him: because it’s easy.

Dinner for Dummies

Calling Darin’s “crustaceous ketchup” comment a “joke” is quite a stretch. And I’m really not sure why Darin’s birth father is something “we” need to talk about, Jessica. Your man’s had a hard day. Butt out.

Frankie, My Beer, I Don't Give a Can

From the FW Blog, Nov. 6, 2012:
At the moment, I’m hard at work on what is turning out to be a bit of a coda to Lisa’s Story. Events in the present will spark a sort of flashback/prequel which will crossover into real life with a visit to my old apartment in Elyria…as well as a crossover with Crankshaft thrown in for good measure. Oh, and lest I forget, a long lost character as well…Stay tuned.

Clearly Les does not share Cayla’s excitement over his basic-cable movie getting a free plug on a basic-cable news network. Meanwhile, somewhere in Elyria, Ohio, “a long lost character” with Paulie Walnuts hair and wearing a wifebeater clutches a can of beer and talks to his TV. It can be none other than the despicable Frankie, Darin’s biological father and St. Lisa’s…ex-boyfriend? Date-rapist?

Tom Batiuk Talks ‘Funky Winkerbean’, comicbookresources.com, March 19, 2013:
I ended up writing a story where Frankie — he’s been mentioned a couple times and has actually appeared in the strip very briefly, the guy who got Lisa pregnant — returns. In the return of that story we deepen the teen pregnancy story and say that it was a little more than just youthful indiscretion on Lisa’s part. There was some coercion involved and it’s like a coda to “Lisa’s Story.”

Guess we’ll have to wait for TB to “roll out” the story to see how he retcons this.

I wasn’t able to dig up a whole lot on the web about Frankie (he’s not even mentioned on the Unofficial FW Fan Page, though Lisa’s teen pregnancy is). I found the above strip from Act II, but can’t provide any context on what their relationship was by the time she was pregnant with Summer.

Water You'll Have

Epicus Doomus
December 28, 2012 at 8:37 pm
…Rule #2: DO NOT try to make sense of the timeline…it is a fool’s errand.

Not so much trying to make sense as just pointing out how wack this “25th soberversary” is. Funky’s battle with the bottle was depicted in Act II sometime during 2006 (and was published in book form in summer of 2007). If you figure in the 10-year time jump, and the five years and two months that have elapsed since then…oh, screw it. Why do we care if the author doesn’t? Careless!

Let’s ponder instead why John and Crazy Harry are entering Montoni’s through the back door. Is the “Comic Book Convention” we saw them at yesterday taking place in Montoni’s back room? Holly and Funky toast his sobriety with a couple glasses of “City of Westview” because Funky couldn’t find anything cheaper. Crazy Harry seizes the opportunity to appear magnanimous, by offering to pick up the tab on just about the only thing he can afford on what John’s paying him.