archive deep dive – Page 6 – Son of Stuck Funky

In Defense of The Slimy Classics.

John Howard has been arrested for ANIME CRIMES!!!

*Seen here! Artist’s rendition of the scene!*

Book It!

*Took me forever to realize that these lumpy headed monsters were supposed to be buckeyes. Makes Ayer’s 2021book festival art look like a a masterpiece.*

As Y. Knott, Duck of Death, and our other Crankshaft correspondents have informed us, Lillian is currently at the Ohioana Book Festival, which is going on for realsies this weekend. I briefly had considered going, (seriously,) just for a wacky vacation road trip with a wacky destination. I’ve already forced my housemate, partner-in-crime, and heterosexual life partner, to promise that someday we’ll do a fun Funky tour. But we couldn’t go this year due to the very following crucial factors:

1.) Cows.

Still, probably would have been a low-key fun time. Especially since I’m pretty easy to please.

Morally Bankrupt

I just know that when I’m on my deathbed, I’ll be lamenting that portion of my lifetime that I spent contemplating Funky Winkerbean.
TF Hackett, April 12, 2023.

*(Don’t give in TFH! We all know that these weren’t wasted moments, hating together with friends!)*

Give Me Some Slack

All Gory, Lard, and Horror, to you Repulsive King,

Look, it’s been a weird week, okay? So you’re getting weird art. Tornados to the north and south of us. Windstorm here. Ripped off my parent’s chimney and broke four power lines. (But everyone, everycat, and everymoo in CBHville is safe.) Weird.