Batom Comics – Page 15 – Son of Stuck Funky

Why So Blue?

What the hell went wrong with the inking here? Why does it appear that Mopey Pete is wearing some sort of blue veil and glove combo? That crack Batom Inc. quality control team is something else again, eh? Nice work, you boobs.

I assumed they’d be jabbering about Jupiter Moon all week, but nope, instead it’s yet another remarkably clumsy segue into yet another pointless retro-pseudo sepia faux-flashback, this time featuring Cigar McBalding’s googly-eyed new car. I seriously doubt there will be ANY merchandise loot at all if these two imbeciles don’t finish writing that goddamned movie already. Now I’m no expert or anything, but I doubt the “Starbuck Jones” license holders will be too interested in sharing the wealth with a couple of whiny work-slacking goof-offs who wearily complain every time they’re given a task to complete. Just a few months ago Boy Lisa was slinging pizza in Westview, now he’s a Big City storyboarder working on a “red-hot” new superhero film, yet all he’s doing is bitching about it. Typical Westviewian, nothing’s ever good enough.

See You On The Dull Side Of The Moon

Link To Today’s Strip

Jupiter Moon, Jupiter Moon, Jupiter Moon…OK Tom, understood. There’s a new female character in the ever-evolving Starbuck Jones mythos and her name is Jupiter Moon. See, I (sometimes) know how the guy who writes this strip operates and in his imaginary comic book-addled mind the idea that SJ includes a character named (sigh) Jupiter Moon is so fascinating and hilarious in and of itself that it needs no further embellishment. That name IS the premise here. Nothing will happen, the characters will merely repeat (sigh) JM over and over again. And that will be it, guaranteed. To be polite about it, the guy who writes this thing vastly overestimates the entertainment value of his weird little comic book fantasies as well as his own cleverness, by a degree of around infinity squared.

The Ghost Who Balks

Link to today’s strip.

Don’t know what I can say about this. Frank Brunner is a really great artist, and that’s a heck of a cover–it makes me want to read the comic inside. Too bad Tom Batiuk had to junk it up with his own stuff, the sad, miserable “creators” that live in his sad, miserable comic strip. I think he should abandon the idea of a Sunday strip that references his characters, and just do comic book tributes every week. Just the covers, no stupidity in the margins. I’d like that; at least the artwork would be good, and we’d get less of these smelly, trollish creatures that proudly wallow in their own mire.

Once again, there’s not a joke to be had here, but I am amused that The Idiotwins think that “spongetonite” stinks as a concept, to the extent that it cannot be associated with…The Amazing Mr. Sponge. Really, the dumbest non-parody superhero of all time, and apparently he’s just too good for “spongetonite.” That is rich.

At present I have no idea what Monday will bring. Possibly more of The Idiotwins tolling in comic-book Hell, with an unhinged Brady fuming that his ideas were squelched, although I would note this: that would be something interesting, that would develop a story beyond just stating a concept and smirking…so that probably means we’ll get Les watching the “For Les” tape. Or Funky at the gym, haven’t had one of those in a while.

We can be certain of only this: it won’t be funny, it will be dull, and it will be excruciatingly padded.

Dung

Link to today’s strip.

Sigh. So, tomorrow (Sunday) we get to look forward to another comic book tribute. Hey, why not, it sure saves writing and drawing effort on Tom Batiuk’s part, and the artwork is usually not too bad.

Now, I’m no expert in comic books–thank goodness–but it sure looks like Cigar McBalding is holding a finished proof in his hands. If he’s asking for a cover change at this stage, he’s either a moron or has so much money he can afford to throw lots of it away. (Or, to be fair, both.) This things is ready to roll off the presses–it’s a bit late to be making major changes.

This episode contrasts with the others this week. In those, Cigar McBalding suggested “improvements” to be implemented in the future (at least he discusses it with the creative team, unlike the people at Cable Movie Entertainment who just present a list of demands). In those episodes, at least he steered the folks toward what he wanted. Today, he’s looking at something that (presumably) he approved, and wants changes made way late in the process.

Sigh again. If Tom Batiuk’s fantasy world consists of crass publishers and beleaguered writers…man, that’s just too depressing to think about. Imagine Sam Lowry from Brazil daydreaming about being buried under tons of garbage…and liking it.

Another example of a “who cares” episode, by which I mean more evidence that Tom Batiuk just doesn’t care any more. It seems to be obvious that he would rather be eating cookies, drinking hot chocolate, and reading old issues of The Flash in the attic rather than put any time or effort into his work. (This seems worrisome. Is is possible for nostalgia to become a mental disorder? I’m serious.)

There’s no joke here. There’s no here here. There’s also a deliberate blindness here. If he’s so passionate about genuine creativity being pushed aside by crass mediocrity, why is his comic strip taking up space that could be used for something good?

Sponging Off Relatives

Link to today’s strip.

Ha ha ha, the first line Darin’s had all week and Pete immediately steps on it!

I continue to be amazed that anyone, anyone at all, could find a sponge-based superhero to be interesting. When I was back in the ninth grade and was drawing superhero comics on notepaper, I would never have considered such an idea, much less dealt with it for more than a few seconds. (“What a stupid idea. Must be too much eraser dust in the air, confounding my brain.”) Perhaps I’d use it as a comedy character who was immediately defeated in some humorous way, but anything ongoing? NO.

And remember–I’m talking about the ninth grade.

I don’t know what to make of Tom Batiuk’s fantasy publishing world. In a way, it’s quite impressive in its scope and detail, but it makes me wonder why he doesn’t apply some of that creativity over here, in the strip that puts bread on the table. Wouldn’t that be something? Imagine reading posts on this site telling how much we liked the episode of the day. As it is, Funky Winkerbean comes across as an afterthought–as Gerald and others have pointed out, no one who only reads the strip would have any of the Batom Books details provided in the blog posts, which robs these flashback strips of rather most of their impact. Not that it would really make much to people not obsessed with silver age DC comics, but still, some context is always nice.

Without any of that, reading about some guy’s fantasy comic-book publishing world is like listening to a really boring person at a party. You suddenly realize you’ve heard nothing he’s said for at least five minutes, and you start to worry he’ll ask you a question and you won’t have any idea how to respond. And your drink is almost full–can’t use “Going to get a refill!” as an excuse. Maybe plead for a bathroom break? Give it a shot. You can hide in the den…and read old comic books.

Heh heh heh.