Tag: Cayla

The Cocoa in Cayla’s Cupboard

Girl, what took you so long? Cayla has finally had enough of fetching snacks to Les, who is busy “losing himself” out in the garage all hours of the day and night. Tonight, she will act. “I got your Hot COCOA mix right HERE MOTHERFUCKA

We interrupt today’s snark to bring you Son of Stuck Funky’s 7th Anniversary Contest!

Yes friends, April 9th marks the seventh anniversary of SoSF! Pats on the back all around, and a tip of the Funky fez to our esteemed staff of volunteers: senior partner sosfdavido, executive administrator epicusdoomus, and most esteemed editors beckoningchasm, billytheskink, oddnoc, and HeyItsDave. I’d like to raise a glass to the original stuckfunky whose concept I hijacked and carried on.

Yeah that’s great, thanks guys. Tell us about this Contest!

Don’t get too excited: first prize (the only prize) is your choice of 11 oz. mug from the Funky Winkerbean CafePress store! A $9.95 value, and I’ll cover shipping to your address (U.S. only). No more having to drink you coffee straight from the pot.

Right click to downloadHOW TO ENTER: I’ve taken panel three of today’s strip and Photoshopped out the “Hot Cocoa Mix.” What’s Cayla really got brewing for her man? Download and mark up the blank template to tell us.

Image editing skills/software not required!  If you have access to Photoshop, go for it, but you can use MS Paint, SnagIt, or a free online tool like BeFunky (!). Post your entry as a comment below: the doctored image whose comment receives the most Thumbs Up will be declared the winner. Voting ends midnight EDT Thursday 9PM EDT Wednesday and the winner will be announced Friday Wednesday night. TFH sez: I’ve opted to end the contest early as it looks like voter interest has peaked. See this post for the winner.

Thanks to every one of you for reading and commenting! Stay Funky!

Prize may not be substituted. Contest is neither sponsored nor endorsed by CafePress, Batom Inc., King Features Syndicate, or any other entity. SoSF staffers excluding TFH are eligible to enter and win.

Monkey Winkerbean

Making their first appearance since January 2016 are Summer and Keisha. I’m sure the sounds of one-on-one basketball right outside his door do wonders for the terminally distractable Les’ writing process.

If “see you later, alligator” is good enough for Cliff and Vera, I don’t know why Les and Cayla feel the need to “update” it. Let’s not get started on Les calling his black wife a monkey. Instead let’s examine Batiuk’s tendency to take a feeble but acceptable joke and proceed to stretch it ’til it breaks. He could have left it at “they’re working on an update blah blah blah.” But, because it’s Sunday and he still has two panels to fill, he’s gotta drop in the stuff about going “viral” and “beta testing”.

It’s all well and good that Batiuk recruited a couple comic book pros to draw Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean. But the draughtsmanship, maddeningly inconsistent as it is, isn’t the problem with these strips, it’s the writing.

Meanwhile, Back At The Dick Cave…

Link to today’s strip

BatNom got me again. Every single time I openly pray for a lengthy FW arc to end, every time I desperately plead for something…ANYTHING…else, he puts the zap on me and delivers a dose of Dick Facey, which always leaves me yearning for more of whatever we just suffered through again. It’s a vicious circle, an endless cycle of tedium. The man certainly has a gift.

Anyhow, the execrable Boy Lisa is on the phone for some ominous reason thus Cayla has to dutifully sleuth about the Dick Cave to ensure she won’t be interrupting The Delicate Genius while he’s penning this year’s paragraph about his dead wife because WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!!!! Why Boy Lisa wants to speak to his bi0-stepfather is beyond me, although that Lisa connection alone gives me plenty of reasons to start “uh-oh”-ing.

Typical Cayla, always on eggshells around Les. It’s kind of telling how she has to trudge outside on another sub-arctic Ohio day to bring the phone to Les, as opposed to Les simply picking up his OWN phone instead. I guess when he retires to “The Genius Works” studio he leaves his phone behind, lest it interferes with whatever weird Lisa-related thing he’s (ewwww) doing in there.

“Honey, if any dear friends or Lisa’s bio-kids call, should I disturb you in your creative sanctuary or leave you alone lest I disrupt the painful creative process?”

“Uh, no, don’t bother me today…I’ve, uh, got some old Lisa tapes I have to, uh, catalog.”

“Oh, OK. But this time could you please close the blinds? Thanks!”

#LessLes

So today’s strip remains centered on Les’ comments from the bleachers, and the banality can not be broken by Funky’s lame-ass joke. It got me thinking about how much better FW could be with just a few little tweaks. You know, like making it funny again, or dumping that stupid Starbuck Jones crap, or something really simple like getting rid of Les. I really wish T-Bats used social media; it would be awesome if the #LessLes hashtag went viral and gave him a rage-aneurism.

[Edit: Changed link from nj.com to sfgate.com because of problems loading the strip from nj.com]

I said I DON’T NEED AN EDITOR, DAMMIT.

cmtWhat have we here?

Country Music Television?
Canine Mammary Tumor?
Congenitally Missing Teeth?
Cervical Motion Tenderness?
Chronic Multiple Tics?

Thanks, Tom, but Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy already has a perfectly good acronym. High five for getting the “C” right, though.

Congratulations to Holly and her Pokemon Go adventure. You can see by the picture she’s caught (left to right) a Jynx, a Weedle, and a Snorlax.

 

cte-edit[Edit]  As reader Erich noted, someone at Comics Kingdom managed to spot Tom’s goof and take care of it before the strip actually went live. I’m leaving my original post as it stands, though.