Tag Archives: Darkness

Dead Punch Line

Today’s strip is EDT. Extremely Dead Today.

Lame? Oh yeh, but I figured it wouldn’t look half bad following this. I know Pete’s the writer and Durwood’s the artist, but sheesh Durwood, do you have to make it that obvious? Guy probably wouldn’t even be working so late if he wasn’t such a chronic procrastinator, so no sympathy from me.

And with that, I pass the keyboard over to SpacemanSpiff85, who reminds us of the best of comics in name as we dissect the worst of comics in FW.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The “Notte” Book

The winner of our 7th Anniversary contest is Epicus Doomus, who gets a mug from the official Funky Winkerbean CafePress store. Thanks to everyone who participated!

We frequently take Mr. Batiuk to task for his “tell, don’t show” proclivities, but we’ll gladly give him a pass today for having fast-forwarded through Les and Cayla making whoopee. That is, if any whoopee was made: we find the Moores not blissfully spooning, but rather with their backs to one another (the accepted sleeping posture for couples in the Funkiverse). Les has started awake, and though he’s made no sound, Cayla’s aware of this. She’s either a very light sleeper or has been lying there fuming since Les conked out.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Move Toward The Light

Link To Today’s Strip

Hands up, everyone who didn’t see this coming a mile away.  Let’s see–that’s one, two, three–OMG, you people are going to have to see me after class if you have any hope of passing the mid-term.  Or that kidney stone.  I’ll let you choose which is less painful.

Of course, if, in a strip from next week, Cory returns home and, before it can land, that helicopter blows up, why, that would be great and I would personally buy Tom Batiuk a beer.   Of course, odds of that happening with the sacred cast are probably as close to zero as you can get without squinting.

Now if, as some have speculated, Rocky ends up dead or maimed, well…she’ll fit in nicely with Kerry, Carla, that biker dude who sold comics, and the rest of the anonymous horde who only serve to illustrate the troubles of the Funky Winkerbean cast in a greater arena before disappearing into their respective hells.   IE, it might be used to briefly illustrate a point, but then they and their sufferings will be shuffled quietly off-stage, never to be seen again.  After all, Les Moore, after all.

And before you ask, yes, I was going to call shenanigans on Holly’s surprise, since her cellphone probably flashed “Cory Winkerbean” when it rang, but…then I thought, perhaps Cory is using someone else’s phone.  Or perhaps the Winkerbeans never store anything in their contacts, or use different ring-tones, or any number of other stupid reasons why I hate writing about these people.  It is, after all, evil technology(R)(C), use of which is prohibited.

The wrap-up, here, of this arc (I am being optimistic) illustrates one of the major problems this strip has–it’s so static.  Nothing ever really changes.  Oh sure, Khahn moves away, Dopey Pete moves away, Cindy moves back…but those are all relatively trivial.  Since the death of Lisa, Tom Batiuk seems to have decided that this strip is just going to drift along on weak wordplay, smirks and depressive smacks to the head until someone in quality control notices what they’re paying for.  I guess payments for Funky Winkerbean are like the paychecks for Milton from Office Space.  Someday, someone will fix the glitch.

Perhaps I’m just someone bummed out because my favorite character, the Pouncing Darkness, is brutally dispatched over the course of today’s offering.  Farewell, Darkness!  I’ll–I’ll never forget you!  And I’ll vote for your Pulitzer!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The One Ring

Link To Today’s Strip

Yes!  My favorite Funky Winkerbean character ever, the Pouncing Darkness, makes his appearance brilliantly in the last panel–crawling toward Holly as the phone begins to ring.

In ordinary circumstances, I guess this storyline would resonate with folks who have loved ones overseas in combat zones.  One would never know from moment to moment what might be.  Every news story might contain heartbreak, every phone call might be the beginning of regret and mourning.

The thing is, though, this is Funky Winkerbean.  The story will play out as lame, predictable and underwhelming.  Three things that people in dire circumstances don’t really need.

I will give Tom Batiuk some slight credit here and say that his heart is probably in the right place.  However, using Cory Winkerbean as an object of sympathy is never going to play.  He was a rotten kid before he went into the army, and while the army may have changed him for the better, it would be good to, you know, actually show us this.  Even though that–actually showing something–goes against the very nature of this strip, still, a leopard should at least try to change his spots, before deciding it can’t be done…


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Away in the Shadows and Oncoming Dark

Link To Today’s Strip

I guess the idea here is that Cindy was about to say “next of kin” but caught herself at the last moment.  That seems obvious, very obvious, and I only bring it up because the ellipsis in panel two should really be followed by a double-dash in panel three.

I suppose, given how swiftly the Darkness seen yesterday pounced and surrounded her, Tom Batiuk was lucky to get any dialogue in before she was snatched into the void.

And I’m going to say that I do like the direction this arc has taken–not the trivial story elements, of course, but the way Tom Batiuk has shown each character ending up swallowed in darkness.  It’s brilliant and should happen more often.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

And in the Darkness, Bind Them

Link To Today’s Strip

Again, another baby step.  The suspense would be killing me…if it wasn’t resting on the sofa, eating chips and watching Three Stooges shorts while I’m over here trying to type.

I do like how the darkness just encroaches, panel by panel, until Funky and Holly are completely surrounded, and about to be blotted out of their sorry existence.  I’d like to offer some genuine, non-ironic praise for Tom Batiuk’s artistic choice in rendering today’s effort.  Well done!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky