Dead Punch Line

Today’s strip is EDT. Extremely Dead Today.

Lame? Oh yeh, but I figured it wouldn’t look half bad following this. I know Pete’s the writer and Durwood’s the artist, but sheesh Durwood, do you have to make it that obvious? Guy probably wouldn’t even be working so late if he wasn’t such a chronic procrastinator, so no sympathy from me.

And with that, I pass the keyboard over to SpacemanSpiff85, who reminds us of the best of comics in name as we dissect the worst of comics in FW.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Dead Punch Line

  1. “I DARE you to care about these people! Ha ha, you can’t do it, can you? Ha ha!”
    –Batuiksman, the Scourge of the Comics Page.

  2. It’s not quite as cringey as when he imagined himself to be a soldier on the front lines, but even if it’s well into the night, what Darin does for a living is nowhere near as demanding as factory work.

    • billytheskink

      What Darin does (not artists in general, just Durwood) isn’t even as demanding as unemployment.

  3. The most annoying thing about this “comic strip” is that Batiuk tries to make us believe that these characters are doing something IMPORTANT. Cindy and Jessica are making a documentary that tens of people will watch. Darin is drawing a comic book that will be read by tens of people. I guess it makes sense, though: Batiuk is writing a “comic strip” that is also read by tens of people.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    I suppose little baby Skyler is still at Grammy’s house, busily shaving years off her life as his parents gallivant around at their useless fantasy jobs. How long could that stupid Cliff Anger Dashiel Hammett Buster Bickens have taken? Five minutes? And maybe Boy Lisa wouldn’t have to burn that midnight oil if his boss would maybe hire some people.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    The Official FW Blog has a truly terrifying post about something called “Morning Funnies” cereal, which thankfully I do not remember at all. I was more of a Fruity Pebbles fan back then. But anyhow, apparently there would be comic strips on the box, which honestly isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever heard, but (gak) one of them was FW. We’re talking wacky zany Act I FW, not the tumor and misery-drenched Acts II and III, but nonetheless.

    • While at the official Batty blog, check out the “Cover Me” series of posts. TB highlights comic book covers that strike his fancy, usually with little context or even attribution.

    • The idea of a Sunday Funnies Cereal starts okay, but the problem isn’t how good the cereal is. The problem is after the first breakfast you’ve read all the comics on it. If you’re the kind of kid excited by comic strips, you’ve read them all before you’re even half-done with the first bowl. This is why the kid would read them with the daily comics, ideally from the paper that has at least two full pages, so there’s a fighting chance. My recollection is hazy but I think it was just the back cover of the box that was, yes, filled with comics, but about as many comics as you’d see on your Peanuts lunchbox.

      I don’t think there’s any way to make the Sunday Funnies Cereal that fixes that problem, except for some stupid thing where, like, the cereal box gives you a code to read something on your tablet computer. And even then I bet the cereal company would give you one set of comics for a whole month.

    • Batiuk also says the cereal tasted terrible. So, perfectly suited for the FW of today.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        But the cereal was made using ingredients that cause cancer, so it was appropriate to have Funky on the box.

  6. ComicTrek

    Look how she’s holding that phone in that first panel. A MILLIMETER away from slipping between her fingers and smashing to the ground – which would dislodge the battery and end the call. You’d think that was the kind of joke/punchline they were aiming for here…

  7. Max Power

    “On Deadline”. Like there will be an uproar if Rip Tide Scuba Cop comes out a week late.

  8. Paul Jones

    And now we know why the strip is a pile of garbage: Batiuk has shitty work habits and is proud of it.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Love that Cliff ordered Cindy to fetch him a coffee as if she were a mere secretary.

    • Charles

      Cindy brought him coffee because after his story, she concluded that he’s drunk off his ass.

      She’ll soon find that coffee does nothing for the ‘shrooms he was on that led to him telling that pile of crap story.

  10. spacemanspiff85

    This is far from the first time Batiuk has made a “joke” about just the concept of having to finish work by a certain time. Which basically everyone in the world has to do, not just delicate geniuses like himself and Darin. And considering Batiuk finishes his work a year ahead of time and doesn’t give it a second thought I don’t really know how he has any room to complain.

    • Gerard Plourde

      I guess we should treat this as an example of a failed “gag a day” strip. The setup is forced and the punchline “I’m not on Eastern Daylight Time, I’m on deadline” doesn’t work. A better (but still lame) one would be “I’m not on Eastern Daylight Time, I’m on crunch time.”

      And when does Darin see Schuyler? It’s apparent that the kid has been dumped on the Fairgoods, with Ann, who already has her hands full with a disabled husband, is raising a preschooler. Someone call child protective services!

  11. Doc

    Can someone explain something to me, please? On Batiuk’s Blog, he titles posts as “Match to Flame.” What does that mean? I’ve tried ‘Grandpa Google’ but can’t find any info. Never heard this phrase before. Thanks for any help you may give…

    Speaking of “Grandpa Google,” today’s Crankshaft has some odd name for Netflix, and it’s shown as the old school Netflix where you wait for DVDs in the mail. Maybe Batboy does these strips ten years in advance.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Batty’s trying to be artsy, that’s it and that’s all.

    • Hiya, Doc. Batty’s blog posts in the “Match to Flame” are excerpts from the intros he’s written for the volumes in the Complete Funky Winkerbean series, in which he recaps his 50-year career as a cartoonist. The match to flame analogy, I guess, describes these early beginnings as the “match” that lit the “flame” of Batiuk’s blazing success. The title also had been used on a collection of stories by the science fiction author Ray Bradbury, of whom the geeky Batiuk is likely an admirer

      Netbusters is probably a conflation of Netflix and Blockbuster. While only one of Blockbuster’s 9,000 stores is still in business, 2.7 million Americans still subscribe to Netflix’ DVD’s by mail model. But it’s generally accepted that the events in Crankshaft are set ten years ahead of those in FW.