The red and blue balloons (though the school colors are red and white) have been filled, and the kraft paper and tempera paint banner has been haphazardly Scotch-taped to the folded up bleachers. Everything appears ready for the coming reunion. You’d expect Reunion Committee Chairman Les to be displaying his base-running, smugly satisfied smirk. But Les implies that the reunion planning has been fraught with problems. OK, well, his committee did forget to choose a venue, though this issue was easily resolved (albeit to the detriment of Westview’s basketball-loving youth). Les has overcome his lack of a Facebook page and a suitable high school portrait, and has managed to delegate the setting up of the Lisa shrine, yet he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. And here comes Barry Balderman to drop that shoe…
Tag: Cayla
What a Jukeoff
TFH here, starting things off with a hat tip to SoSfDavidO and the rest of the guest author rotation for bringing you the daily snark!
Guest Page Turner Author
June 27, 2015 at 1:50 am
So Funky had the band box repaired…[b]ut he repaired the Bandbox specifically to watch these individuals dance…[i]nstead, they are jamming to the music from the jukebox. Which didn’t need fixing…[a]nd probably worked all along.
I’ll bet Les’ friends cringe anytime he starts a sentence with “I don’t know if you guys know this, but…” With Westview’s cultural totem refurbished and restored to its place of honor, Montoni’s is once again “alive with music”, if not with paying customers. Naturally Les, the walking Wikipedia, cannot resist using the occasion to school his lessers on the history and etymology of the jukebox, and is chastened by Funky—Funky!—for being a buzzkill.
Feet Fail Me Now
SosfDavidO here! Aw, lookit! In today’s strip we get treated to Tombat’s take on the “someone who is dancing silly is interrupted by someone silently watching” schtick that was the mainstay of movie trailers in the late 90s. Cue up that record-scratch sound effect!
What’s the cause for celebration? He finished another book! Presumably the same book that Darin had given him an idea for only yesterday. Either he used 48pt font or I’m calling complete, utter, time-bending, reality-warping bulls*** on this!
Reunion City Blues
Link To Today’s Contrivance
So let’s take a moment to recap this idiotic reunion arc. Cindy usually organizes the reunion, but she can’t this year, so she inexplicably gives Les the job. At no point does she specify “anywhere but the gym”. Les meets with the rest of the reunion committee and they spend the entire meeting fooling around with that stupid cancer book. At no time does anyone on the committee discuss a venue or mention the fact that Cindy does not want to use the gym. Then, after doing nothing, Les suddenly realizes there’s no venue for the reunion. He panics and sulks.
After Cayla suggests the school, Les discovers that Bull is running a sports-related activity in the gym that same day. So apparently Les will use his “friendship” with Bull to convince the moron to f*ck over the basketball campers so he can use the gym for the reunion. The dreams of young aspiring hoopsters put on hold so Les and his obese pals can waddle around the gym, all because Les was too lazy and mopey to find a more suitable venue. What a dick.
And now, obviously, Cindy will get all upset and berate Les, then she’ll be forced to apologize on his porch after it’s the Best Reunion Ever. That horrible dick with ears will be the f*cking hero again. And it sickens me, it really does. This mess is going to take weeks to play out, guaranteed.
Gym-Nauseum
Link To Today’s Farce.
And as we enter the homestretch it’s “the WHS gym” making a TREMENDOUS run for the wire! Yep, it looks like we’re in for lots of sepia-toned “Les is stuck on the gym rope again” flashbacks featuring good ol’ Act I Loser Les! That’s right, folks. Way back when, before he was an award-winning author/martyr/smug obnoxious jerk whose wife tragically died, Les was a hapless dweeb! I know, I know…it’s difficult to believe, but it’s 100% true. In fact, you can visit the official FW archive site and take a gander at those old strips anytime you…oh, wait. Forget that last part.
“Six months ago”??? What? Does the reunion committee meet every two weeks or something? Why were they discussing a venue six months ago? And why didn’t they settle on one? Normally, a story starts making more sense as you add details…but not in the Funkyverse, where up is white and down is sideways and everything is coated with pizza grease, nonsensical developments and retconned nostalgia. And sometimes all the names are wrong too.
Why are there corner thingies in panel one? It’s just a flashback to six months ago, not a cherished old memory of happier days gone by. Either use them right or not at all, Author Guy! Retcon photo album corner thingies are a privilege, not a right.
Son of Stuck Funky 
