Tag: Cindy

Angrily We Roll Along

Professor Fate
March 29, 2016 at 9:11 am
…And Mason unless your plan is to find the grave of the late Mr. Hanger and dig up his skull and drink wine from it while learning your lines, no you haven’t had an amazing thought.

No such luck, Professor. Mason’s just so pleased with his idea (and Pete hails it as “genius!”) to find a cameo role for the actor who played SJ in the “serial from the early fifties.” Well, in a comic strip universe where a WWII veteran still can find work driving a school bus well into the 21st century, this is totally plausible. In fact, I can almost see how that cameo might look:

Jarr Jarr Thinks

The gang enjoys some pizza (does Montoni’s ever serve a pie without pepperoni?) and continues their discussion of Starbuck Jones. Mason Jarr, the actor who is going to play Starbuck Jones in that new Starbuck Jones movie, appears to have experienced some kind of epiphany; he’s had…a thought. This incredibly amazing thought. Dot dot dot. Hope it’s a doozy, because you and I are going to have to wait a whole twenty four hours to find out. That’s a real “cliff’anger!”

They Don’t Write ’em Like That Anymore

Packed like sardines in Mason’s convertible, our pals hurtle through the inky blackness, snarking on the cornball dialogue in the Starbuck Jones serial. Pete can afford to laugh because he, being a newly minted hotshot Hollywood screenwriter, will craft a script that’s going to bring the franchise up to date and bring new depth and complexity to our hero. That is, if Pete ever stops dicking around back in his Ohio hometown…and as long as they don’t pressure him with any deadlines…and only if nobody dares to suggest any changes…

The Fan-Tom Empire

Cowboys, thunder riders dressed in quasi medieval armor shooting futuristic weapons, robots with flamethrowers— The Phantom Empire viewed genre boundaries as mere inconveniences rather than limits…I became fascinated with the idea of taking what was considered to be a low art form and creating something of substance within those confines, of trying to take what others considered junk and turning it into something more. That thought continued to inform my cartooning choices for the next fifty years. It’s hard to overestimate the impact that The Phantom Empire has had on my developing brain.

From the introduction to The Complete Funky Winkerbean Volume One

So today, Batiuk’s “writing what he knows'” sharing with us readers a space opera that influenced his creative vision as a youth. At the same time he’s writing about something about which he has no idea: how today’s Hollywood motion pictures are made. “I think seeing that old serial is really going to be helpful with our movie.” Mason might as well be talking about a campfire skit or routine that they are preparing for a middle school talent show. And I’m waiting for the day when Darin snaps at his old buddy Pete: “Shut the fuck up already about ‘back in the days of Batom Comics!'”

Anyway, snarkers, it’s good to be back in the SoSF wheelhouse as we approach the 6th anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky! Stay tuned for a special announcement of the first contest around here in awhile. Details to follow! Happy Easter!

Misplaced Anger

Link to today’s strip

Yes, these imbeciles talk out loud during movies, too. Sigh. Maybe it’s too ambitious, maybe it never goes anywhere, maybe I’m way off here. But something tells me that Cliff Anger is alive and well and currently residing at Bedside Manor, ready to regale the gang with tales of how awful Old Hollywood was and how horrible it was to play that stupid Starbuck Jones in those terrible films he never saw a dime for making. Then he’ll probably break a hip or some other hilarious thing old people always do. You know how they are and if not, go check out “Crankshaft” where at this very moment there’s a pretty fair chance that some adorable old grouch is fracturing or suffering from something right now. There’s just no way Batiuk is going to be able to resist the lure of “Cliff Anger”, puns are like narcotics to that guy.

So, why did Jessica (with Skyler) fly out to Ohio in the first place? Has new John Darling footage been unearthed? Another Montoni’s jones? You’d assume it had to have been something somewhat important if she had to go back to Ohio just a few months after moving away, yet she has time to go see old SJ movies, so WTF? Then there’s Mason, why did HE need to fly out to Ohio? Did the studio ask him to grab the head writer and a storyboard guy and scout the Cleveland location from above? Another Montoni’s jones? You’d assume it had to have been something somewhat important if the star of the white-hot SJ franchise suddenly had to charter a jet, flee Hollywood and head to Ohio, yet as soon as he arrived his first stop was at some decrepit old movie house in the middle of nowhere. So WTF? This entire week hinged on actions that make no sense and were never explained, not even in passing. FW: the comic strip were stuff sort of happens.

Well, that was an inexplicable and wickedly unfunny little romp, wasn’t it? That’s it for me for now, but stayed tuned next week as the Host with the Most takes over…the immortal TFH!