Tag: Cindy

All Bi Myself

Today’s weak and somewhat offensive gag is one of those that works only when read, not when spoken; that is, “bipolar” is usually not pronounced with an ellipsis after the first syllable. Unless Cindy already is suspicious of Mason’s heterosexuality, and has prepared and rehearsed her acceptance in anticipation of his coming out. “Oh, well there’s nothing…that a little taste of my sweet sweet jelly roll can’t cure!” Still, the revelation of his mental disorder comes as a relief by comparison.

Perennial FW bit player Bald Guy with Hipster Glasses returns!

Cindy-rella

Mason uses humor in an attempt to calm Cindy’s doubts about their May-September romance. It really is the sort of wisecrack that a guy might make to his sweetheart in real life. It just comes off as a little flippant, given that we’ve spent the better part of the last month watching a woman who married a widower having the riot act read to her via video by the dead first wife.

Chill de Wine

Rusty
October 6, 2015 at 7:44 am
Cindy should be in her mid-50’s based on the old strip where Batiuk has them as the class of 78 at a reunion…

That’s how I had her pegged, too, but according to the FW Wikipedia entry, “[in] 1992, Batiuk rebooted the strip, establishing that the characters had graduated from high-school in 1988.” In any event, it’s doubtful that Batiuk knows or cares. So let’s split the difference and say Cindy’s, oh, 50. What’s never been estabished is Mason’s age. Come to think of it, about Mason we’ve learned very little, beyond the fact that he’s anxiety-prone, superstitious, and rather gullible. And today we learn that he’s also something of a philosopher, if not a wine snob.

Sands of Time

She had to go there, didn’t she? The inexorable March of Time is Cindy Summer’s own cancer, her PTSD. Her classmates back in Westview may grumble–a lot– about getting older, but they do so with smirking resignation. She has to make it the leadoff topic of your afternoon beach time with her Hollywood Actor Boyfriend. Cin: you were Most Popular in high school and went on to a career in network television news. Yeah, you got a raw deal at ABC, but if you’re so obsessed with aging, why did you pass up the opportunity to call them on their blatant age discrimination? Even given that setback, you were handed a job that allowed you to be near your boyfriend who inexplicably seems to be truly in love with you. The rest of the women in your WHS graduating class have all given up and morphed into indistinguishable slatterns (or live on in digital video!). Their “last cute decade” ended with Act I. And the only available male in Westview runs a comic book store. Quit. Whining.

Blame It on the Block a Nova

Well! After the neverending Lisaspiel, today we leave behind the falling leaves for palm trees and sand, as Mason and Cindy take to the beach. Query exactly how much SPF is required “to block a nova”, since novae tend to occur in distant star systems not even visible to the naked eye. That’s how much sunblock Cindy’s using “these days”, said days being the ones since she realized she was O-L-D.