To his credit, Mason allows the dinner discussion to turn to Cindy and her plans, and unlike Funky, does so without being condescending. Given the opportunity to discuss her pressing career concern with someone who actually seems interested, the woman who bailed on her alcoholic first husband instead raises her glass with a tiny hand. Guess these days it’s Cindy who’d “rather have a drink than a discussion”! 
Tag: Cindy
The Expedition
“Lewis and Clarking“? Does anyone use that expression, particularly when thinking to themselves? The answer is kind of a “yes”, though “Lewis and Clarking” as defined at Urban Dictionary might get you thrown out of the restaurant. Speaking of the restaurant, the caricatures on the walls behind our couple lead me to believe that this date is taking place at the Beverly Hills Palm, where Mason grabbed a bite with Les last summer.
Mirror Star
The theme of today’s strip is a recurring one in the Funkiverse: an improbably ideal situation (your book’s been optioned for a movie/ you’ve attained your dream job as a comic book writer/ you have a dinner date with a movie star) leads not to excitement and anticipation but dread and self-doubt. With so much invested in this date, you think Cindy might treat herself to a Beverly Hills spa visit, thus maximizing her attractiveness and maybe settling her nerves a bit. Instead, we see her fretting out loud before the mirror before resignedly settling for a passable result.
‘s Cool, “Girl”
She’s a network TV news vet who worked her way up from Channel One to the American Broadcasting Company (and back down again); who’s spent time in war zones and who even brokered the hostage swap that freed PFC Wally Winkerbean. Time may not have diminished her looks (as it has for her ex-husband and for every other adult in this strip save Les), but Cindy is filled with trepidation as she primps for her date with Mason Jarr the Movie Star. She can’t even bring herself to apply that black lipstick she’s holding in panel one.
Make ‘Em Walk The Plank
It’s all so clear to me now. This “Michael Spencer” guy is actually an international spy whose mission is to destroy The Internet from within. He needs Cindy to attract hits to his website but to get her on board he had to reach out to his old pal Mason Jarr and call in a favor. “Anchors aweigh” is the big clue here, as “Michael Spencer” obviously picked up that bit of nautical terminology while he was stowing away aboard some big cargo ship bound for Culver City. It’s a dead giveaway. He’s trying to tell us something…I mean it COULDN’T just be some typically awful Batominc wordplay again…or could it??
Anyhow, it really should be “anchor” as I don’t see any other ones in the frame, do you? Cindy’s weird descent into insane idiocy continues as she accepts BB’s pathetic “offer” after receiving a dinner invite text from our old pal Mason. It took me a second to figure out how and why those two things could be related, as Cindy could obviously still have met Mason for dinner without stupidly accepting BB’s crappy deal. But I think the idea here is that by staying in California she’ll be closer to Mason, which is all the impetus she needs to throw what’s left of her career and her dignity into the gutter. I just can’t believe he wrote this without realizing how pathetic it makes her look, but then again yeah, sure I can. Cindy: the strong modern businesswoman who’s seen it all and who makes rash career decisions based on texts from boys she likes. 1/4 inch my ass.
I guess MS is one of those people who only looks fat when he sits, right? I mean yesterday the guy was a bloated doughy blob and today he’s zipping around sipping his trendy glacier hipster vita-water, completely jowl-free. Whatever is in that water bottle, start selling it in Westview fast before the FDA gets wind of it. Man, if I ever see this Spencer guy again it’ll be too soon. Except I might not recognize him at first, depending on whether he’s sitting or not. But let’s hope it never comes to that.
Son of Stuck Funky 
