Cory – Page 6 – Son of Stuck Funky

Maybe she’ll be “awarded” citizenship!

See? “Awarded”? It’s like getting an award–something a certain cartoonist has never achieved!

I don’t know what purpose Adeela serves, except to fulfill a diversity quotient in hopes of attracting the attention of an awards group or two. The thing is, he already had Khahn, who was a Muslim, and who was available as a worker at Montoni’s but then he decided to give him his own shop and then wrote him out. Why try again? Has there been an uptick in awards for this sort of thing? The blandness of the dialog in panel three makes me think so.

In contrast to some of the earlier episodes of this arc, the artwork here is very slapdash. To coin an oxymoron, it’s decidedly slapdash.

Taking Fred’s Job Away

Link to today’s strip.

First of all, nice ventriloquist’s dummy of Wally in panel one. If they revive “Tales from the Crypt” you should definitely apply to play the Cryptkeeper. Secondly, there’s an actual kind-of joke in panel two. But naturally, Batiuk has to ruin it with panel three with something meaningless yet vaguely depressing. From what we can see, he has definitely brought the mood down for everyone.

I guess this makes today’s episode a grand slam! He’s out on that tiny baseball diamond even as we speak!

Naming the Unnameable

Link to today’s strip.

Well, will you look at that. That cranky old bus driver has finally been named! I guess Batiuk realized his word zeppelin wasn’t big enough to include “–what was his name, again? I can never remember–” so he was forced to use his real name.

And for Heaven’s sake, Cory, you’re going to wear holes in that countertop. How much polishing does it need, considering there hasn’t been a customer at all during this “story”? Talk about putting in the effort without obtaining a result.

That might be a good euphemism, come to think of it. “Tom Batiuk has been polishing the countertop on Funky Winkerbean for a couple of decades….”

Afterword: SoSF mourns the passing of Bill Bickel, host of “Comics I Don’t Understand.” He presented senseless comics that needed an explanation, and he and his commentors were always up to the task. “Senseless” also describes his passing, and the internet is poorer now. I’m not very good at deep thoughts, so I will just say that I will miss his wisdom.

You’ll Wonder Where The Yellow Went

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, this has to be a deliberate FU to Batiuk’s critics. All last week Rachel’s hair was pumpkin orange. Now, she’s a frosty blonde. And, check out Wally–his hair has gone from acorn brown to some kind of gold-bronze sheen, like Doc Savage on those old paperbacks. I think I had a GI Joe with hair like that when I was a kid, but his hair was plastic, so he had a good excuse. (“Only his hairdresser knows for sure!”)

Really? Is this what quality control is supposed to look like? Is this the comic strip you are presenting as something to admire, Mr. Batiuk? Seeing as it’s all, according to you, reality-based, but 1/4 inch from reality? Is this why you think you deserve awards? Do the chains of continuity rest heavy upon you, sir?

Maybe he was inspired when the MCU had Black Widow’s hair change from red to blonde in “Avengers: Infinity War.” I like to think the comics geek in him thought “Oh wow, I just have to do that!”

Of course, “Avengers: Infinity War” was supposed to take place some time after Black Widow’s previous appearance…not later that same day.

Sheesh.

As for the rest of today’s thing, it’s a typical Mary-Worth-style “recap of the previous week” and thus contains no new information. At least it has the word “ASS” in there–a handy designation for everything in this strip. (Not to mention a shout-out to the future Academy-Award winning film.)

Also, nice bowling trophy. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in this strip go bowling (happens a lot in that other strip), but I guess someone was good at it once. Can’t have been Les or we’d never stop hearing about it.

Defused

Link to today’s strip.

And just like that, the whole situation is defused. This is a good example of Batiuk’s poor writing choices. In the normal Archie-type sitcom scenario we’ve been seeing this week, the situation would be resolved when the wife confronts the husband, and it’s the husband who has to explain how everything is innocent. Here, it’s like Batiuk is thinking, “Well, everyone loves my characters and I can’t keep implying that they’re doing bad things, so I’d better stop this now.”

So, Wally’s helping Adeela get her driver’s license. So, purely innocent…and rather helpful on Wally’s part. Those of you who, earlier in the week, guessed that something more interesting was afoot…well, sorry. It wasn’t.

I’m really surprised Wally offered to help her. Everything he encounters seems to trigger him into a psychotic breakdown–and given his history with women in cars, I should think this would be even more of a nightmare for him than showing up at Kent State to go to class. According to that story, Wally leaving the house was a major milestone for him.

I think he would probably refuse to get into any car, let alone one with another person, where that person might be charged an arm and a leg.

But that’s the Funkyverse–where consistency doesn’t even apply to milkshakes.