Funky – Page 32 – Son of Stuck Funky

Hackett and his Commenters

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

To celebrate the holiday of love and romance, Batiuk has graced us with a touching strip of an ommetaphobic man who has completely lost his mind after days of being forced to self-apply eye drops.

Remember this is a guy who had to be physically restrained a month ago by multiple people to have drops put in.

That explains his increasingly erratic behavior since the surgery. And the slow decline of his joy since Monday. Every single day, hour after hour, forced to pry his squinting eyes open with trembling fingers. Forced to carefully drip chemicals into the waiting lids, staring up at the nozzle of the dropper, the fear and nausea triggering a flight or fight response that he can’t let his body obey.

Our drip torture is about to end though. As I’ve peeked into the future and it seems the cataract saga is finally drawing to a close. At least, I hope it’s ending. I suppose we could be up for a repeat in a month, when Funky goes in to have his other eye done. I wouldn’t put that past this strip.

So relax, everyone, tomorrow is a brand new day! A day filled with Dinkle.

Wild Cataracts

Here’s another in the long line of Batiuk’s insults to the expanded space comics get on Sundays. Literally copying one panel and repeating it four times is pretty sad. (You can tell since that little line above the coffee mug is exactly the same). I don’t think the strip would have suffered at all if there had been a little variation-snow falling outside the window, a bird landing on the windowsill, a TV on in the background, or even that little line above the coffee cup changing. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen a Sunday strip in either this or Crankfshaft that couldn’t have been told just as easy in one or two panels.
Oh, and having cataract surgery clears up your vision. Expect Funky to start cheating on Holly just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Thanks for having me! Taking over tomorrow is Comic Book Harriet. I hope Cayla gets COVID or something, just so CBH has something to write about.

Scataract

“Humor is how I deal with tragedy“. I bet Batiuk has used that line a lot at book signings and when newspapers inexplicably interview him. And I’m sure the response he gets more often than not is “Humor? What humor?”.
I really don’t get what “tragedy” Funky is referring to here. The tragedy of successfully having a routine surgery that lots of people get? The tragedy of having to age when you’d rather stay ten in your parents’ attic reading comic books forever?
Oh, and Funky’s joke isn’t funny and really doesn’t work. It doesn’t really sound at all like what it’s supposed to, I don’t think. It’s a pity it’s one of the last things that poor guy pushing the wheelchair is ever going to hear, since he’s clearly about to drop dead.

Cataractive

I like this doctor. “Yeah, he’ll just have to wear this thing for a couple of nights, I don’t know how many exactly, whenever he feels like taking it off, whatever. Oh, and he only needs to wear it at night, he can take it off during the way, who cares.”.
Funky sure has had some wild mood swings this week. The first two panels he looks like he’s lost the will to live, then in the third he’s popping up and yelling out a pirate impersonation.

Cataractastrophe

This is an odd strip. I guess the joke is “Funky isn’t feeling anything because he’s been ‘sedated’, even though sedation and anesthetization aren’t the same thing, if he’s freaking out and yelling he sure doesn’t seem sedated”, but I don’t get why he’d be dead set on having to feel something before he goes in for surgery anyway. Shouldn’t be relieved that he can’t feel anything before he has a knife inevitably poke out his eye?

I like to think of this as Funky just admitting that he’s dead inside and has no emotions anymore, because I’m very tired at the lame attempts at humor and very much want this strip to jump back into overblown melodrama. At least that was slightly entertaining.