Tag: Funky

Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God

Link to today’s strip.

There are a lot of folks nowadays who despair over the state of the world.  Folks who are religious tell us that, although things may seem bad, God is a kind and loving father who watches over us all, and offers hope to mankind with the promise of ultimate goodness.  I guess my question is then, if God loves us all, why did He allow panel two to come into being?  It seems to me that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for a lot less than a Les Moore crotch shot.  In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, unless that man reads Funky Winkerbean.  Suddenly, having an eye is the worst thing ever.  If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out!  Or, you know, burn the newspaper.

Perhaps this is God’s way of telling us that we’d better shape up, because the horrors of Hell are far more horrible than we are capable of imagining.  In other words…things can get worse than panel two.

Okay, I’m scaring myself now.  So, on a strip level, I hate to say it, but this seems more evidence that Tom Batiuk is well aware that his audience is composed entirely of critics, and this drawing of Les is his “Up yours!” to them.  I guess my initial response would be “Grow up.”  Tom Batiuk is not without talent.  Why doesn’t he use it?  If this is the case, I just find it very, very sad.

So let’s have some fun with it.  Let’s make it a happy thing.  Let’s turn that money shot into a funny spot.  (Sorry.)

Recommended soundtrack:  open a new browser tab, load this, and put it in the background.  Suddenly Les Moore is magic!

The original works pretty well too, but I just love the parody of the parody.   It takes something existing and makes something new out of it.  A good lesson for people who are, supposedly, creative.

Gagging Run

(“Running Gag” has already been used twice…had to come up with something for a title…[hangs head in shame])

Link to today’s strip.

Say, do you ever catch yourself thinking, “You know, those Sunday strips with Funky and Les jogging are great and all, but why are they so darn short?  I’d like to see a week of those!”  Well, brother, you’re about to get your wish!  Have you ever considered therapy?

The joke in this is always the same:  Funky’s a fat old doofus who hates exercising and is unequipped to survive it.  Les is an up-and-at-’em type who always outperforms.  There’s only so many variants on “Funky is a fat lazy loser” and, let me tell you, none of them are funny.  This one is just stupid, and poorly presented.  It should show Les and Funky speaking on the phone, the night before; then Funky’s dumb non-something would at least make a certain amount of character sense (any excuse to avoid getting up early).   Saying his line now, after they’ve been out for a while, makes Funky look genuinely stupid.  Talk about low-hanging fruit….

Here’s an idea, Funky.  If you hate exercise so much, if it’s nothing but a burden, why not stop?  You’ve been doing it for years and it is clearly not benefiting you in any way, other than making you even more miserable (if such a thing is possible) and thus able to commiserate with everyone around you.  Your *cough* best friend Les seems to use this time to remind you of how superior to you he is in every way.    Let’s face it–you’re never going to lose weight, you’re never going to feel good about yourself, and what you see right now in life is all you will ever have.  Your creator clearly despises you.  Everything else in the universe is punishing you; you don’t need to join in too.  You might die sooner, but you might die happier, too.

Admittedly that’s a stretch, but in this strip, any death seems like a happy occasion.  Finally, someone is free of the dark clutches of this strip.  Free to rot and molder, and–I think I’ll stop typing now.

Punchline Template 1A

The Further Adventures of Rachel and Funky Talking may be found here.

 

Hahaha, it’s funny because CrossFit and yoga are, like, totally different things! Can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip when maybe Tom will finish stretching this arc like a chunk of saltwater taffy and actually move the plot along.

BTW, go back through this arc and take a look at each day’s strip. Notice how Tom’s rendering of Rachel gets more fluid and less awkward as the week progresses? I find this interesting because it shows me that Tom lets himself get “out of practice” with his characters when they’ve been absent awhile and probably doesn’t take the time to do a little “freshening up” with the ol’ Funky Felt Tip before bringing them back.

Headbangin’ For A Cure

Link to today’s strip.

Aaaaand once again, T-Bats pads out two panels worth of inaction to fill three days, finally getting around to telling us that Rachel and Wally are attending the concert to help him with his PTSD. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a storyteller with a worse sense of pacing.

While I’d say that I’m looking forward to seeing the concert (who would turn down a chance to see Mort ripping up Inna Godda Davida on the slidefart trombone?) there’s little chance of that. The intern who drew Mort’s dementia-induced Independence Day Sunday comic has weekdays off, and we all know how Tom hates drawing his characters doing anything but standing around talking.

School of Rock

Today’s Funky Winkerbean is an example of my least favorite  FW strip. I mean, I’m used to jokeless installments, or days at a time with no plot advancement, or bungled punchlines. But this crap just baffles me – I have no idea where T-Bats is going with this and by the time he meanders around to making a point I probably won’t even care.

So instead, I’m just going to wonder aloud why Tom can’t seem to draw his characters with any kind of consistency. Remember when Rachel was a ginger cutie? Well, I do, you philistines, and you can be reminded of it by looking at the center panel of this three-panel strip. For some reason, Rachel in panels one and three has sag lines around her eyes and an “I-forgot-to-put-my-teef-in-thiff-morning” mouth, but in panel two looks more or less like she used to a few years ago before Tom got sick of drawing her and shoved her to the back of the character rotation.

Funky’s got a new look today, too. Kind of reminds me of what it would look like if Silly Putty copulated with Mr. Potato Head and had the kid raised by Alfred Hitchcock.