We interrupt Wally Winkerbean’s School Days to remind you yet again that Sunday, September 11, is the Rotary Run for Lisa’s Legacy in Mentor, Ohio. Too bad yours truly is even less fit than ol’ Funky: what I wouldn’t give to participate in Sunday’s 5K and be rewarded with one of those sweet (two sided!) tee’s that Les is modeling in today’s strip. Speaking of the Funkman, you think that as a recovering alcoholic he’d be a little more charitable to someone else who struggles with addiction.
Tag: Funky
Wally Thinkerbean
If only Tom Batiuk trusted his characters to inhabit their own stories. and his readers to follow along. We’ve long since established that poor Wally can barely function in 21st century Westview. But in a story arc where he’s the main character, we must listen to Wally’s wife and uncle cousin boss narrate the “action”. In the case of today’s strip, this is done in order to set up the wordless third panel punchline, where we see “focused and ready” Wally sitting intently, surrounded by his younger peers whose attention is anywhere but on the lesson. This marks quite a change for our Wally in the six years since his first community college go-round (see below), during which time he was not merely distracted but actually asleep in class. It’s gotta be those glasses!
B.C. (Batiuk’s Cavemen)
Again with the friggin’ cartoon cavemen! I’ve tried to use restraint when it comes to judging Wally’s behavior on the chance that this might be a true-to-life depiction of life for an afflicted vet. But folks, Wally’s been back Stateside over seven years now. And sure, his wife and everyone in his hometown mostly left him to fend for himself. But seven years. This fish-out-of-water act is really getting old. Fortunately, the day is saved by a young lady so unconcerned about campus security that she cheerfully unlocks the door for a gaunt, older stranger in military fatigues.
A Friend to the Animals
Just when you think hatred of Les Moore can’t possibly get any deeper, he steps up to the plate and knocks another one out of the park.
“It’s funny,” Les says, “but you’ve given me the opportunity to tell you how awesome I am, in that I beat Bull at tennis recently.”
Funky’s face in panel two: Here it comes.
“Like you,” Les continues, “he’s just a loser through and through–unlike myself, naturally, who is awesome at everything and should be admired and given prizes.”
What a wonderful friend. Say, Funky, what do you suppose Les says about you behind your back? You can be sure it isn’t complimentary! Because you don’t deserve compliments. Not like Les Moore.
Isn’t it just terrific that Les Moore condescends to share his time with the shuffling, gelid animals that inhabit Westview. How nice it is of him to pat them on the head and offer stories of his life to offset their weak-kneed misery. Without his presence, they might be happy never know the marvelous entity that is Les Moore. Has any man done so much for those who deserve so little? Allowing them to share his light, so that the shadows don’t fall so heavily on them…gosh! What a guy!
Les Moore is the one thing in this strip that puts it straight into fantasy, because in real life, no one would have anything to do with this loathsome man.
Good Thing Watch: Les’ head in panel one. It looks like it’s been thoroughly wrung out by the Hulk. A Scene We’d Like To See (tip of the felt tip to Mad magazine).
Bullpun
Lack of Les Moore crotch shots is a definite improvement, and the pun is kind of clever. I like the implication in panel one that Les is sticking his lips out as far as he can, trying to do a good duck imitation. It’s rather poor but at least it’s an attempt.
However, the strip is still just two guys talking. It’s a boring conversation about things happening to other people who are elsewhere.
It’s a strip designed to take up space. There is no other purpose. No plot is being advanced, no wisdom dispensed, and the pun isn’t that good. And when the action consists of someone pouring a pot of coffee into a mug, maybe it’s time to rename this strip to something more accurate, like “How sedimentary rocks form” or perhaps “I don’t care.”
Why not try to show, instead of constantly telling? I suppose the answer is, because showing is difficult. It requires work. Planning. And the reward isn’t worth it.
I think we’re past any changes in the way the strip unfolds.. Like Funky, it’s ossified and congealed into a barely moveable mass. Maybe we should look at Funky’s disgusted expression in panel three and figure, yeah, that’s about right. That’s how this strip rolls. Or stays put, actually.
In all honesty, I would love to find things to praise in this strip. Reading each painfully bad episode is a chore; there’s rarely any relief from the omnipresent gloom that hangs over this thing. It gets old, really fast. My recollection of Act I was that it was also not action-packed; like Act III it was just people taking, but were talking to each other, about each other, and at the end of the talking there was a joke, and sometimes the joke was pretty funny. I know that’s an awful lot to ask these days.
An awful, awful lot.
Son of Stuck Funky 