Harriet – Page 11 – Son of Stuck Funky

Ten Pounds of Words in a Five Pound Bag

Greetings, fellow snarkers, ’tis I, BChasm, filling in for Fearless Leader. Yes, for the next week or two, I get to drive the garbage truck!

And what a load we have today. Look at that giant overflowing bag in panel two! Someone doesn’t know how to properly stuff a garbage can. How about, “The hard part was keeping it a secret from you”? I know, I know, the word balloon was drawn a year ago and the text to fill it was worked out only a couple of weeks back, but come on, man.

At any rate, it does give us a clue why Harry and Harriet are celebrating their anniversary at Montoni’s. Harry was only pretending to be cheap and pretending to be band-obsessed to fool Harriet into thinking he was cheap and band-obsessed. Which I’m sure he’s totally not, guys. Anyone who’s into art and drama and stuff could see that.

I have to dock Tom Batiuk a few points for failing to note which anniversary this is. Tsk, tsk, Mr. Batiuk. He failed to do that yesterday, too! Whatever happened to craftsmanship? Also, why is it that the characters Tom Batiuk clearly likes best are the most loathsome? I find this Harry guy a complete waste of time.

I’m going to give you guys a slight spoiler alert for tomorrow: if there are any local stores that have a good deal on brain bleach, you might want to stock up.

What the Heck Do We Care?

Now you know how many ‘holes it takes to fill Montoni’s Pizzeria.

TheDiva
July 10, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Okay, folks, place your bets:
Halle is drawn in the background of a Sunday spread in a listless nod to continuity: 6/1

Does Halle Dinkle’s presence here qualify as a “crossover” if nobody knows about her comic strip? She’s the one helpfully holding up a placard-sized “Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad” card. There’s another unfamiliar face in the crowd, above Dinkle’s head, whose identity will be revealed Friday (as an afterthought; TB’s just giving a shout-out to one of his music friends). Rachel’s been made to don the dreaded red apron but Wally (and his wonder dog Buddy) have been permitted to mingle with the invited guests. I would give Dead Skunk Head John a hard time for showing up in a t-shirt, but hey: we’re in a pizza parlor.

Get ready for another guest blogger: starting Monday, it’s the snark stylings of Beckoning Chasm!

Anni-worse-ary

Congratulations to Harry and Harriet Dinkle on their fiftieth wedding anniversary! Say, Harry: between your teacher’s pension, the proceeds from your multi-volume autobiography, and the royalties from your compositions, I bet you’re planning a really special surprise for the Mrs. Maybe a cruise, or a trip to Europe, or a…a party at Montoni’s. Yes, Harriet will be surprised, all right: surprised at what a cheap bastard she’s been married to for fifty years.

John Philip Snooze-a

I hope you’ve all enjoyed the stellar snark of Epicus Doomus these last two weeks as much as I have! A new mystery guest author sits in starting Monday, July 15! —TFH

Discuss: “Sousa marches sound best when they’re surrounded by a town square.” Well, for starters, it seems rather like the town square is surrounded by the music: it waves through the air like one of those advertising banners that gets towed by a small plane. And I’d wager that Sousa marches sound best when they’re played by, say, the United States Marine Band. When played by an ensemble small enough to fit in a gazebo that’s about the size of my bathroom, they sound, well, okay.

So in his retirement, “Harry seems to be working harder than ever”? Really? Harder then he did when he used to force his students to march in torrential rains? Harder than when he used to personally deliver band turkeys? Since he hung up his band director hat, all we’ve seen Harry doing is lurking around the high school and occasionally schmoozing with his fellow music educators.

Symphony for the Dinkle

Stupid question, Harriet. It’s never about having “a good time with your friends.” In the Funkiverse, every happy occasion only serves to remind us of our mortality and human frailty. It’s that “undercurrent of melancholy” that permeates every aspect of life in Westview, the place where people hide their happiness lest they tempt cruel fate. Those of us here in the real world can freely express our joy over the fact that the Dinkles appear to be exiting the convention at last, but not before Harry squeezes out one last tortured musical metaphor.