Tag Archives: Jim Kablichnik

tH1s dISj0iNteD aRC

Today.

So, Sunday’s strip is about collecting permission slips for a field trip.

Then Monday, the field trip’s over and Wedgeman is missing.

Now it’s Tuesday, and the bus is stuck in traffic caused by (what else) the Starbuck Jones filming.

What the hell way is this to tell a story? What happened to Wedgie? Why have we been subjected to months of Starbuck Jones Birth Of A Movie agony and not be shown anything about the filming? This is like trying to read Crisis On Infinite Earths after Mom found our comics under our bed and threw most of them away OH SNAP DID I JUST MAKE A COMIC BOOK REFERENCE

So now the bus is heading down a “short cut” which we all know is just going to turn out to be a bad decision because of course it is and Batiuk hasn’t had an original idea since he wasted, like, a decade slowly killing off a main character in a failed bid for a Pulitzer.

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Lost in Cleveland

Link to the Strip Du Jour

Whoops! Field trip’s over already! Don’t worry, you didn’t miss any gripping Westview High drama…because there wasn’t any. We went from yesterday’s permission slips to today’s return-trip headcount entirely off screen.

Y’know…Owen really has an unhealthy obsession with Wedgeman, doesn’t he? I bet if Jim Kaboosechiak sent Owen back into the Science Center to find him, ol Chullo’d make a beeline right for Wedgie. Someone ought to ship those two into some R34. (On second thought, never mind.)

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Papers, Please.

Link to today’s Sensible Chuckle

It’s an Act I-style high school gag, and not too bad in it’s own inoffensive aw-shucks kind of way. Notice that the intern must be drawing Alex again today because she’s back to being a chubby goth cutie instead of the horrific middle-aged fat nun who regularly graces the dailies.

I am sorta dreading the reappearance of Professor Shlabotnick or whatever the hell name Bats gives Mark Twain there. Seems we just got done with a week of crappy jokes from our old paisan’ Tony – I’m not up for a series of gags that were rejected by Henny Youngman for being too stupid.

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Malaproper Gentlemen


Today’s strip

Those who cannot do
Teach, those who cannot teach are
In today’s comic

Kablichnick surely
Unhappy that he just set
Up a Crankshaft joke

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Gene-ius

Yeah, so that Scapegoat football team that, back on picture day, their coach suggested would not only lose but would be reduced to unidentifiable corpses? Today they are “one game away from the conference championship.” You’d think a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults blah blah blah would get some mileage from the story of a historically losing football team fighting its way to the top.  But this “comic” strip’s really about the way these teachers utterly despise the student body.

Jim, rotten, hateful, possibly psychotic Jim, who, like Les, couldn’t give a shit about football or any sports, only brought up the team’s success to launch another slam against the kids (does Jim have kids? Or a wife? Never been explored). Bull accepts the backhanded compliment of his coaching ability. Les, who like Bull, is himself a product of this “lousy gene pool” Jim’s talking about, smirks appreciatively.

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Pun With a Chance of Horror

Today’s strip

So, it’s Battle of the Bands Gets Rained On season! Woo hoo!

I can’t really muster the enthusiasm required to express shock that today’s strip features a lame pun. I would have, but our auteur decided to have the punster ask if his audience got it. Get it? Batominc, you sucked all the humor out of your own comic strip by belaboring the point. Get it? You won’t show us any real action at the Legacy Run, but this you’ll pound into the earth.

It’s like you took a joke and repeated it until you got hoarse. Talk about beating a dead horse! Get it? Hoarse—horse? I slay me!

Detail of Becky’s deformed face OK, so panels 1 & 2 were boring. Let’s move on to panel three. Ah! The horror! Oh! The humanity! The woman in the magenta dress has smirked so hard that she developed a severe Tessier 7 facial cleft. (Note to the squeamish: do not do a web search for that phrase.)

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Who da’ Jerk

 We can excuse doddering, effete Jim for fearing for his safety around creepy loner Jarod. But Linda’s name calling is nasty and jarring, though it fits in with the sheer, unbridled contempt shown by all Westview faculty toward the students. It sounds especially callous given that we’re led to believe (from Sunday’s strip) that Jarod comes from a troubled home. “Jerk in progress” smacks of one of those phrases that TB heard or came up with and salted away for use in one of his strips; I wish he’d saved it for use by (or maybe against) the truly jerky Owen and Cody.

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Enraging Bull

Today’s strip show Bull reverting back into full-on caveman mode, ready to beat the piss out of whoever is smokin’ in the boys room. Good thing they’re already near a toilet, though Bull will probably finish with the American Standard Swirlee.

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Never Forget. (That the Scapegoats Suck)

Ya know, a SMALL nod to the event that changed the course of America might be nice. This is the funnies, of course, it’s not like I’m asking Garfield to stare sullenly at an American flag for three panels but it’s a little off that a strip that deals in melancholy as currency would pass up the chance to remember what happened on this date in New York City over a decade ago.

No such luck. Instead, today’s strip is just a time-marking daily grind forward until the next real story arc. Even the telephone pole and goal post weigh in on the current situation with some of the most weirdly-spaced dialog balloons since Mark Trail!

MarkT

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Bull-oney

Well, well, look at what we’re saddled with for the rest of the week! More observations that the Scapegoats indeed suck like a 5 Amp Hoover.

In today’s strip it’s obvious that Bull grabbing whatever he feels like out of the Lost and Found and everyone seems okay with this. Cell phone? Wallet? The only “scoring” Coach is doing is when he runs to the pawn shop to sell off Nintendo 3-DSs left on the bus.

Nate isn’t aging as well as the rest of his peers; Bull looks like the New Year’s Baby, Jim has a face as smooth as glass yet meanwhile Nate has “lovingly” been drawn out to mostly resemble a California Raisin.
baby bull
raisin

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