Half in the Bag

Link to today’s strip.

There are some things that Tom Batiuk is quite good at drawing.  Everyone knows about the bricks, and our own TFH likes the way he draws the back of the ear.  He’s also really, really good at drawing bored people, especially in groups.  The expressions in panel one make up a nice image gallery of people who are bored out of their skulls.  Some of them are practically melting in their desire to escape, but there’s no mistaking the dreary ennui etched in their faces.  (Les and Linda in panel two are excellent examples of faces drawn in such a way that you want to punch them…so that might be another thing he’s good at drawing.)

Earlier I questioned whether there had to be a face-to-face meeting with parents to discuss the senior trip, and today the answer is clearly “No, it’s not necessary at all.  A one-page printout would do perfectly, and not inconvenience everyone to attend an after-hours meeting.  However, Les has some ‘jokes’ to deliver and he can’t do that in a printed sheet, so a meeting there will be.”

And not just one meeting.  Even a cursory glance shows that the crowd in panel one has been replaced by a completely different set of parents in panel two.  Meaning that apparently one crowd goes in to get smirked at by Les, and then they leave and another bunch comes in…I have this horrible idea this goes on for hours, long into the night, with Les delivering his idiotic quips over and over, each time with the idea that maybe this time someone will be smart enough to appreciate him and let out a hearty laugh.  What a sad, delusional, detestable man.

I have no idea why Linda is there.  Is she supervising?  Is she going to be speaking next?  If some parent stands, yells “For God’s sake, doesn’t this guy ever shut up?” and starts wailing on Les with a folding chair, is she there to try and stop it?  (Bad Linda!  Les will never learn if you interfere!)

One entirely plausible scenario is that Principal Nate called Linda into his office and said, “I want you to go to the meeting and smirk at his ‘jokes.’  You’ll know when he makes them–there’ll be a long pause and a smirk.  I’m not asking you to laugh, I’m not that cruel.  But last year I had two damned days of Les whining about how no one appreciated him because no one laughed at his–”  Principal Nate waves his hand in a dismissive gesture.  “–jokes.”  Long pause, and Principal Nate’s face hardens, his stare intensifies.  “I’m not going through that again.”

Principal Nate is lucky.  He can choose that path.  Everyone else…not so lucky.

Owen to Circumstances

Link to today’s strip.

I think we have another first, folks.  I think this is the first time Les has been rendered with anything other than loving detail.  Look at that grinning death’s head in panel two.  I’m thinking his jaw is about to unhinge so he can devour that poor woman.

Panel three makes this another strip wherein I wonder what kind of audience Tom Batiuk thinks he has.  In order to get this “joke” you have to know who Owen is and you have to know that he wears that stupid chullo at all times.   That means you have to be a regular reader who enjoys the strip enough to know the cast…the very sort of reader that Tom Batiuk has driven off with pointless, boring characters like Owen.  Seems like one of those unsolvable puzzles.  Could there possibly be such a thing as an Owen fan?  It seems scarcely credible.  And since that’s the case, one would regard an episode like today’s as another example of a strip perfectly designed to appeal to no one.

Is there anyone out there who thinks it’s hilarious that a son would wear the same headgear as his father?  That’s the joke.  I guess it’s supposed to indicate that Owen is following his dad’s fashion sense?

I don’t know about you, but when I look at Owen he doesn’t strike me as the sort who has any respect for his parents…or anyone else, for that matter (except comic book characters of course).   He looks like the kind of lazy slacker who wonders why achievement isn’t handed to him, because he’s so deserving and all.  He looks like the kind of kid who smokes dope at every opportunity…and maybe that’s what Chullo Senior does, too.  The sloped neck, the half-lidded eyes…yeah, I guess dad prepped for a meeting with Les Moore in a very practical manner, by raiding his son’s stash.

Maybe I’ve got this backwards, and Chullo Senior is actually following in his son’s footsteps.  Or maybe the lesson here is that I should get totally baked.  I bet if I did, this strip would be the height of hilarity.

The Batiuk-Signal, Robin!

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings fellow snarkers, BChasm back for another stint in the chair.  Congratulations to HeyItsDave for giving us an exemplary two weeks on his first time out.  Well done indeed!

As for today’s offering, there’s one thing worth noting:

Wedgeman’s back!  There he is, near the center of panel one, burnt orange t-shirt, arms angrily crossed as if he’s been assigned to read Funky Winkerbean.    What tales he could tell us!  Like maybe, what the heck is Alex doing with her hand?  Stifling a yawn?  I’m with ya there, Alex.  Note that Glasses seems to’ve lost a lot of weight, and behind him is some kind of creature I think I saw in a scary YouTube video.  And right under the dialog there’s a girl who is fading out of existence!  Wow, someone could use that if there was a space movie filming nearby!

Other than that, ho-hum.  When I was in high school, any excursions off the school grounds did not require a face-to-face meeting with the parents.  Usually, a permission slip had all the information my parents needed (itinerary, what to bring, etc), so I brought it to them, they read and signed it, and I turned it in.  Are there now actual after-hours meetings for this sort of thing?  If so, my next question is “Why?”

I’m going to pass over the comic book stuff and point out the awful overly-spun dialog we’ve got today.  Always a problem when you draw your word balloons a year before you know what to fill them with.  Wouldn’t panel one read better like this:

On the other hand, maybe we should just go with our inner Batiuk:

How Green Doth My Envy Burn For Thee

Link to today’s treacle.

What the hell, Cynthia? It’s already acknowledged that any multicellular lifeform on Earth would bump uglies with you in a heartbeat given half a chance. Why are you so threatened by this unseen nemesis Marianne Winters?

So it seems that this week’s arc is rapidly devolving into another display of Cindy’s insecurities. T-Bats sure does like torturing her. That popular blonde chick in high school must’ve not only shot him down but double-capped him for good measure and he’s been doodling his revenge ever since.

And hey, what are Mason and Dick Facey (heh heh, thanks Epicus) chatting about in the foreground? Let’s listen in…