Mickey – Page 2 – Son of Stuck Funky

The Bushka Fund

Is it possible that today’s strip is the last we’ll see of Bull and/or Bull’s retirement ceremony? Who knows? T-Bats stretched a three-panel story about Durwood running out of pens into two solid weeks of shitposting, so anything is possible.

Once again, though, we’re shown that Bull really is a solid dude, having established (with Linda’s help) an equipment fund that will provide future Scapegoats with state-of-the-art noggin armor. I swear, Tom never builds up a non-Les character like this unless he’s setting him up for a fall. The suspense is killing me! Or would be killing me, if I really cared about this half-rate storyline.

And someone help me out here…who dat in Panel Three, basking in the sunshine far from the Ohio night? It’s not Jinx – she had straight black hair, as befits her stereotypical ethnicity. Could it be Crazy Harry’s daughter Maddie? Has any other FW girl worn a billed cap? If it’s Maddie, why isn’t her hair red anymore?

Who are you again?

Finally! Today, we finally get back to the actual subject of this arc, with Bull making a self-depreciating joke about the anticipated trajectory of his condition. I have to admit that, having watched family members struggle and fade with memory loss and dementia, I found Bull’s comment bittersweet (especially since I kind of liked him – probably the only time you’ll hear me say that about an FW character who isn’t Buddy.)

ann And then…in Panel Two…is that…Ann Fairgood? Why, we haven’t seen her in awhile. Say, she’s got a pretty talented hair stylist, huh? Four years ago her hair was mousy brown, and then for a while it turned white (probably from having to change Fred’s diapers four times a day) and today it’s Cindy Blonde. Good thing T-Bats knows how to indicate “old age” by adding a few crows feet around the eyes and putting in that line on the neck. Guess those art lessons really paid off. Wonder where Fred is? Probably handcuffed into bed with duct tape over his mouth since Ann’s been retconned into being a spousal abuser.

Jinx is still a no-show. Wonder if T-Bats even remembers that Bull and Linda had an adopted daughter?

They’re naming it WHAT?

paul-winfield First off, ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big round of applause for the late Paul Winfield, appearing in today’s strip in the roll of ~~game show host~~ Principal Green.

Now let’s talk about this stadium stuff. Talk about a kick in the head (ha ha, no pun intended) to Bull. They’re kind of naming the stadium after him, but not really, since they also have a corporate sponsor who is presumably paying for stadium naming rights. So…thanks, Bull, for those three championships your teams managed to win despite sucking at football, but it wasn’t quite good enough. Sorry.

Oh, and Tom? A & L Automotive? I’m giving you points not only for making an asshole pun, but also for getting it past the censors at King Features. If you’re ever in New Haven, look me up and I’ll treat you to a REAL pizza and not one of those Ohio shit pies.

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Gesturing for Help

Link to today’s strip.

It sure looks to me as if Bull is trying to communicate entirely with gestures in panel one–if his mouth is open at all, it’s sure not open enough to let any words escape. Not that words are a specialty of Bull–or of Tom Batiuk–but I’m hoping his webcam can capture all that expansive waving.

Whatever his hands are saying, his face in both panels says it all: please give me a reason, any reason, to turn down the offer. I’m depending on you to save me.

However, both virtual women seem to hate Bull as much as Linda does, and gleefully tell him that he needs to put his neck on the block. Bull’s expression in panel two is an excellent example of the Oh…crap face. I am doomed!

Speaking of the virtual women, the one on the right is Mickey (whom I had never heard of before her reappearance earlier this month–and she sure added a lot, didn’t she). Is the one on the left Jinx? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her before, but she sure has aged a lot since high school. Did we miss a time jump–or is one on the way, and Jinx was first in its path. Those things are like tornadoes, never know when one’s going to hit, to touch down, to pass over and change everything.

If we do jump forward another decade, I’m betting tomorrow’s episode will show Bull returning to Westview High. “Boy, I sure am glad that I finally quit that job I had, of athletic director, over at Diversity University Ironton! It was a hard job, and it made me tired! Now I am back where I started, at Westview High School, having returned from Diversity University Ironton, where I was working–and living! But I wasn’t really living…(panel ellipsis)

(panel ellipsis) (smirk) …until I came back here.”

Oh, Mickey, You’re So Fine

I guess Batiuk’s not gonna bother refreshing our memory about this Mickey character, or how she, a kicker, scored the winning touchdown 11 years ago. He’s content just to have her mentally undressed by a locker room full of teenage boys while her stepdad looks on.

Gang, that wraps up my turn in the SoSF barrel for now. Be sure to tune in tomorrow when a brand new surprise special guest author steps into the breach for the next couple weeks!