Tag: pizza

Darin To Be Stupid

In today’s installment, Darin has his recent life choice validated by a guy who is the antithesis of every person ever depicted in a Coffee Achiever commercial.
And… that’s it. Frankly, I’m surprised Crazy’s dream career arc is aimed as high as it is.

All this talk of storyboarding, however, has reminded me how much Act III Crazy looks like the late Jim Mateer. Mateer was TB’s high school art teacher and an accomplished artist in his own right. He had a week-long appearance in FW back in 2006, painting several lovely murals on Montoni’s walls, murals that appear to now sit under 3 and a half coats of Sherwin-Williams’ Urban Putty.

Sophomoric Sighings

Oh boy, more puns, which are, aside from smirks and bitching, pretty much the currency of Westview. Today’s strip gives us a confusing insight into Darin while serving up a lame, lame pun that’s been done so much better before.

Is he an MBA hotshot app developer who helped Funky develop an app or a full-fledged pizza employee? And when does he have time for all this work when he’s supposed to be raising a baby, too? What happened to Les’s neck in panel three!?

doughbinsmall
Real life, which is 1,000 times funnier than this strip

Montoni’s pizza is people! It’s people!

In today’s strip, a slouching, lumpy Les McHarris carries a Montoni’s Pizza box home for his long-suffering wife. The box is completely white, but for “Montoni’s” and “Pizza” inscribed only on the edges. It is otherwise unadorned.

In panel 1, a hungry, hungry Cayla Wrich greets her mate with bitter sarcasm. “Our ‘meals on wheels,’” she begins with ominous scare quotes, “took a while…” She pauses menacingly, like a sharp-pincered scorpion. Venom drips from her tail. “I expected you sooner.”

“I tried calling and texting you to see what was holding you up,” she does not add, because that would interfere with the narrative, which involves characters behaving unlike any actual human.

“I got hung,” panel 2 has Les beginning succinctly, “up while I was in the process of agreeing to take over the chairmanship of my high school class reunion celebration event,” he continues, goes on, and says at length.

The final panel would have been better had Cayla stabbed Les with her foot-long stinger, cutting him apart with her claws, and devouring him. Instead, we get the punchline.

“Surely, you’re joking, Mr. Munyon.”

“Do you see me laughing?”

Do you see the readers laughing?

Quid Amateur Quo

Less than a week ago I marveled at how Batiuk had engineered a Hollywood screenwriting opportunity for recently fired comic book writer Pete. Today’s strip has me marveling at how wrong I was.

Charles
April 19, 2015 at 8:47 pm
…The suggested storyline is so absurd it’s insulting. The producers aren’t going to go to the lead actor to get recommendations for script doctors…and in the extreme situation where they do so, they’re not going to accept the suggestion when it turns out to be a rank amateur who just got his ass fired from a crappy comic book company.

Charles, I’ll go ya a couple better: how about an even more rank amateur, who, after dragging out the process of writing the screenplay (which he insisted on doing), decides it’s too much work and walks away, sinking the project while still getting paid? On the recommendation of the star’s new girlfriend?

Married to the Slob

“I was married to him and he never saw me blush.”

“[T]he most responsible one in our class”? Sure, back in high school Les demonstrated enough responsibility to man a machine gun and sell milk. As an adult? He’s been “responsible” for quietly standing by while Susan threw herself under the bus, annoying his fellow Kilimanjaro climbers, and of course torpedoing the movie that was based upon his book.