Tag Archives: Producer Lady

A Ripping Poor Yarn

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Now he’s snidely mocking the actresses’ hair (which looks brown from here, bub), like HE has room to talk. Paulie Walnuts called, he wants his look back. Apparently the whole “theme” here is that Les is going to carry on like a gigantic asshole over every single detail of the production, which should make for a fun two years. It’s almost as if Les/Tom doesn’t understand that they’re actors who are capable of changing their “look” and not just random people who may or may not look exactly like Lisa. I mean Marlon Brando wasn’t a mumbling deranged lunatic warlord living in the jungle and decapitating people in real life, it was only a movie. Idiot.

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To Bespectacled Or Not To Bespectacled

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Way to pad the strip out with oversized dialog-free panels where nothing happens, Pulitzer (nominee) Boy. “This is what a real casting session looks like!”…big f*cking deal. I assumed it looked something like that but I never cared enough to verify it, so thanks there, Tom. “Only to see”…there’s a gag so old and so musty he had to spray it with Pledge before he used it. There’s only one word that aptly describes this one…”duh”.

Why are Les and Cindy sitting there at all? The idea that Mason needs to stage this charade in order to sway a recalcitrant Les is dumber than a pillowcase full of broken toasters. Since when is everyone so afraid of Les? What HE gonna do? Take his stupid story and go home?

Coming soon: After ruining the project in a smug fussy rage, Les is outraged to discover that Mason is going ahead with “Liza’s Tale…The Second Galosh”, a story about a young wife and mother who contracts CTE after being stricken with a big hunk of cement during an explosion at the UPS store. Les takes his plagiarism case all the way to the Supreme Court, where the justices laugh and throw trash at him.

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Doo Diligence

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So Mason is insisting on holding a phony casting call just to assure Les that he’s putting every available resource into finding the perfect Lisa, even though he’s already decided who’ll play her? So they’re going to waste thousands of dollars and everyone’s valuable time just to put the smug bearded dick with ears at ease? BatHam’s insane “inside Hollywood” fantasies are spiraling out of control again. This is the most laughable cancer movie premise yet and they haven’t even settled on the cast yet. For anyone else setting your story on the set of a Hollywood movie would have all sorts of potential, but just like with Starbuck Jones he instead opts to focus on the most mundane aspects, like picking up a guy who’ll be sitting in during casting. Yet another fanciful sub-universe full of lore, characters and lingo where absolutely nothing ever happens. Sigh.

Why is Cindy always chauffeuring Les around? Isn’t she some sort of newscaster? It always amazes me how everyone in the Funkyverse always seems to have nothing better to do at any given moment. “The same driver”…he mentioned another arc, albeit a way more recent one this time. He’s suddenly doing that all the time and I find it kind of unnerving.

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