Tag: random students

Saturdrag

Link to today’s strip.

Saturday’s strip was not available for preview, but let’s face facts: we can say without question that it’s boring beyond description.  For that reason, I’ve invited someone else, boring beyond description, to write today’s post so I can start my drinking early.

Hello, everyone on the internet, I’m Les Moore.  I teach Language Arts at Westview High School…and I’m a bit of a writer!  I’m sure that’s why your friend Beach Cheese* asked me to write for you today…that, plus he said I was “just as boring” as the strip, by which he meant that, like a drill, I am able to penetrate many layers to get to a deeper meaning!

*(I think the name was Beach Cheese.  Is that right?  Does anyone know a Beach Cheese?  Well, you’re better with me, because I’m sure whatever he might have written would have been quite cheesy.  Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh my.  Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, I do have a gift, don’t I.)

Well, let’s start.  Okay, we have Bull and this other man, who is quite handsome, speaking to each other, and one of them made a joke!  Ha ha, that is a pleasantly diverting moment from the ongoing despair that envelopes us in a continuous haze of fear, regret and brown-tinged memories of desperation.

It reminds me of a funny story.  You see, our old principal, Fred Fairgood, had a stroke nearly two years ago.  When Funky told me about it, I smirked and said, “Well, we’re going to have to write Fred’s name in a serif font now,” and I then explained that a serif font is one that has decorative strokes.  Well, clearly Funky had never heard such a funny joke, because he just frowned at me for a long time trying to figure it out, even after I explained it to him.  Some people just don’t “get” the best humor!

Another funny story is about Wally.  See, he was a soldier somewhere outside Westview, and a few years ago, I saw him on the street and I said “Hey!” and I made my hands into gun-shapes and said, “Pew!  Pew!”   Well, he covered his head with his hands and dropped to the ground, because I think the secret code of military toughness means they’re not supposed to laugh at funny jokes–like those people who guard the Queen–and he was hiding his laughs so he wouldn’t get in trouble.  But don’t worry!  If I saw his sergeant, I would have said he laughed, but he laughed in a tough manner, so don’t put him in Army Jail too much!  He got a dog a year or so later, so obviously I was right.

Well, I’ve given you two funny stories, which is probably more than you get in a month, so I’ll just leave it at that!   I’ll be sure to tell that Beach Cheese person that you enjoyed them, so he’ll get me to do this again.  I have to get back to my wife, Lisa, who died of cancer, and that other woman who cleans and makes food.  What is her name again?  I should really know that.  I should get her a Christmas card and thank her this year.  Maybe, if I have time–lots of stuff to do for other people, like Lisa.

Oh, but I do want to leave you with this fun activity you might want to try:  collecting old comic books.  You’ll be surprised at how it makes you feel!

In closing, let me just quote Billy from Predator:  “We’re all gonna die.”  So long for now!

…Durn Near KILLED ‘EM!

Link to today’s strip.

Again, it sure seems to me that someone who has come to “check out” Bull would be listening to Bull talk about his, um, er *cough* “successes” rather than go on and on and on and on about some play.  It makes me think that this DUI guy stepped on a few too many toes, so they sent him to Westview to see what his future could look like if he doesn’t start shaping up.

Look at Dolt’s expression in panel two, and contrast it with his expression in panel two of Tuesday’s strip.  The sunny helpful face has been replaced by one creased with worry.   The penny is beginning to drop.   You know, those guys who said, “Good luck, and don’t come back!” weren’t really smiling.

Maybe I can grab one of these tackling dummies and bring it back to DUI, and say, Guys, meet Bull Bushka! and everyone will laugh and I’ll be okay.  He glances between the two.  The tackling dummy certainly is smarter and has a better personality…

I have to say, for a strip that specializes in being unbelievably boring, Tom Batiuk has really outdone himself this week…and we’re not over yet, not for the week and I’m sure not for the arc.    After all, nothing resembling a “point” has reared its ugly head.  All of which I’m sure will lead to Bull being tempted to go to the big city, but deciding to stay in Westview because of a poorly-worded platitude he smirks out to someone.  Les, probably.

Oh…I forgot today’s word-play.  How could I have forgotten that?  It’s…certainly there, isn’t it.  It reminds me of a dumb joke whose punchline makes up today’s title.  Other than that, it’s another Crankshaft reject.

Black Dahlisa

Props to anyone who gets the obscure Hollywood reference in today’s strip! I will be out of town this evening but will leave this up as a placeholder for snarkers far funnier than I!

Back from my trip! Let’s see how Les’s arc played out with the Sunda– are you kidding me!? Cody and Owen?! What about the arc we just suffered through for the last 6 days!? There was no resolution at all! The Series Finale to Alf had better closure.