Tag: Thatsnought Hewmore

Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads

Today’s strip gives us a good indication of why Bernie has been a freshman for two years, he apparently plays hooky when the slightest blemish appears on his face.

Bernie might not be learning much of the three Rs in high school, but he’s getting Westview’s trademark tone-deafness down pat. Griping about your “bad forehead day” in front of a 15-year-old cursed with Peyton Manning’s forehead and a 15-year-old cursed with Ron Howard’s hairline while wearing bangs that cover 95% of your own forehead… that is cold-blooded, Bernie. Les would be proud if he didn’t despise you and every other student who walks the halls of Westview High.

Immobile, Fragile, Docile!

Today’s strip is a dramatic improvement over yesterday’s, for obvious reasons.

It is not, of course, without its issues:

– First and foremost, what does Not-Monroe expect the school to do about his lunch complaint? Bus kids out for lunch? They’re freshman, they couldn’t leave campus for lunch even if they had a car. They’re 14-15 years old and don’t have drivers licenses. Unless, of course, they were held back, which is certainly possible. Bernie was a freshman last year too…

– Second, the only place that the seniors with cars could go out for lunch and get back in time for class is Montoni’s. The freshmen stuck eating cafeteria food are undoubtedly coming out ahead from that angle.

– Third, who is this “they” that Bernie speaks of? The seniors? The faculty? Wall Street? I enjoy a good conspiracy as much as the next guy, Bernie, but it is not interesting if you are not specific about who is trying to keep you down.

And on the Seventh Day…

Link to today’s strip.

Oh my God, we’re still doing food jokes?   And not just any food jokes, but jokes that are so old, I remember being bored by them way back in grade school.  Hey, Tom Batiuk, right back at ya:

What really wrings the neck of this attempt at humor is the bizarre…well, “continuity” for lack of a better word.  For the past two days, Bernie and Thatsnaught have been standing in front of the vendos.  Now, they’re still standing there, wearing the same clothes, as if only a few moments have passed between strip-days.  So far so dull, but suddenly, there’s a professionally-taped notice on the vendos that was not there before.   It’s like a low-budget movie where the script girl was out sick one day.  “Okay, that’s a wrap, loves; gotta get this stinker in the can!”

I could imagine someone like Philip K. Dick could take this “off” situation and create something out of it…Eye In The Sky comes to mind; there’s actually a scene with a vending machine!   Philip K. Dick could be quite irritating at times, but his imagination was never in doubt.

Unlike some people I could name.

Big Brother Is Watching You Eat

Link to today’s strip.

Comic Book Harriet asked a relevant question yesterday–is this vendo in the school, or the Komix Korner?  We were, after all, dealing with two characters shown in the Korner in the previous day’s strip.

Well, today’s professionally taped sign gives us the answer.  Although Bernie’s still wearing the same shirt as yesterday–does that mean he only has one shirt?  Shades of Les Moore!  (Spoilers:  he seems to have two, this one and another just like it in red.  I guess he alternates them seasonally.)

Other than that, it’s just another sad episode of how badly Tom Batiuk’s sense of humor has atrophied.   School food, that’s always timely–but, I should shake it up somehow.  He’s obviously trying, he’s even abandoned the safe, tried-and-true cafeteria in an attempt to recast the joke–but it’s the same old cafeteria fare, just drenched in a different bland sauce.

Neither one is edible.

Older than the punchline, even

Link to today’s strip.

Didn’t they get rid of the vendos?  Oh well, only idiots like readers expect things like continuity.  Obviously, since this strip is based in reality, the things in the vendo would be kept up to date, and anything past its sell-by date would be removed…much like a comic strip might be removed from a paper for something fresher and more filling.

Anyway, I guess this is supposed to be funny.  It clearly isn’t meant to be poignant, or educational, or anything.  And I guess I have to give a bit of credit for the (I think) attempt, even though it falls on its face.

I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of Bernie.  I had thought, with his interest in chess and the band, that he was going to turn out to be a smart character.  Here–well, I don’t know.  Is he dumb for wanting something from the vendos, or is he just naive?  In the first panel he looks cynical and weary, in the second, he looks alarmed.

Oh well, I’ve already put more effort into interpreting this than it warrants.  On to tomorrow.