If today’s post title didn’t tip you off already, I will warn you here and now that we are NOT done with Funky’s visit to the eye doctor in today’s strip. You don’t need to read it. You don’t want to read it. As much as I generally hope to see lots of comments on this site, I won’t be remotely offended if there isn’t a single comment posted today.
What is there even to say? That this whole strip could have been avoided had Funky just answered the doctor’s question in last Friday’s strip? There, I said it. Tune in tomorrow for more warnings, probably.
Link To Today’s Thing
Yet another cutting and timely observation about This Darned Technology Today, courtesy of the BanMan, who’s never more than five or ten years behind these “modern trends”. What a lifeless, listless outing. What’s next, a gag about unreliable GPS directions? Or that annoying warning sound your car makes when the seat belt isn’t buckled?
I assume that’s Morty driving in Funky’s sepia-toned flashback, for what it’s worth. This joke is so generic it’s almost impossible to think of anything to say about it aside from the usual generic snark. It sucks, it’s boring, it’s stupid and etc. Thus far this car trip to Florida is every bit as tedious as we all assumed it’d be. Where the hell is Cell Phone Girl when we really need her?
Today’s strip is a dramatic improvement over yesterday’s, for obvious reasons.
It is not, of course, without its issues:
– First and foremost, what does Not-Monroe expect the school to do about his lunch complaint? Bus kids out for lunch? They’re freshman, they couldn’t leave campus for lunch even if they had a car. They’re 14-15 years old and don’t have drivers licenses. Unless, of course, they were held back, which is certainly possible. Bernie was a freshman last year too…
– Second, the only place that the seniors with cars could go out for lunch and get back in time for class is Montoni’s. The freshmen stuck eating cafeteria food are undoubtedly coming out ahead from that angle.
– Third, who is this “they” that Bernie speaks of? The seniors? The faculty? Wall Street? I enjoy a good conspiracy as much as the next guy, Bernie, but it is not interesting if you are not specific about who is trying to keep you down.
Link To Today’s Strip
Don’t let that felt-tip cash checks your ass can’t cover, Batty. Seeing Les Moore explode all over the pavement like an overripe tomato is one of my fondest dreams, so if you’re going to have Les kill himself because his cancer book isn’t being properly recognized as the greatest artistic achievement in the history of man then DO IT ALREADY because the whining is just insufferable to the point of insanity. I HATE people who talk talk talk and never do do do. So jump, you asshole but slit your wrists, douse yourself with gasoline and light a match before you do just in case the impact isn’t enough to do the job. We have to be 100% sure here, this isn’t something we want to leave to chance.
First-class accomodations across the board. The chance to write his very own “Lisa’s Story” TV movie. His own office and an assistant. And all during his summer vacation, no less. Could things possibly be any worse for the dick with ears? Oh, the humanity. I’m still not grasping why Les can’t remember his very own Hollywood fantasy sequence from a few years back, the one where he predicted this outcome almost exactly. But that’s TB’s trademark, he never lets annoying things like continuity get in his way. And then there’s his other trademark, that being an incredible gift for finding ways to use the exact same material over and over again, especially if it involves Les and that goddamned cancer book that never goes the f*ck away.
I’m seriously thinking about putting together one of those online money-gathering schemes to fund a TV movie about how tawdry and insane the comic strip business is. You know, how it’s all about the money and how it’s filled entirely with lazy brainless hacks with smarmy annoying attitudes. The plot will involve a whiny comic strip writer who’s been tabbed for a screen adaptation of his work but ruins it for himself by complaining about every single aspect of the process. I’m pitcuring an insightful and not-at-all stupid look into how that comic strip business REALLY works. The lead character will NOT be based on Les Moore, though, as I’d ideally want someone to actually watch it.
Link To Today’s Strip
Gotta hand it to Batiuk today. I would have thought that this “fatwad goes to the gym” arc would have played itself out after a panel or two but here it is, Thursday, and it’s still as fresh and hilarious as it was on Monday. Granted, the bar was set rather low……
Oh, hold on a second. At first glance I thought that was Mephistopheles himself, about to summon Funky on down to eternal damnation and all. But nope, it’s just a cynically smirking Fitness Girl wildly arching her eyebrows, presumably in bemused disgust at Funky’s pathetic punchline. I hear that, FG. But better be careful making those faces, if she gets stuck like that she’ll be banished from everywhere BUT Westview and no one wants that.