Zoinks!

Today’s strip gives us more nostalgic, fuzzy, sepia-toned flashbacks to the horrific memory of.. whatever the heck happened here. Domestic violence isn’t funny, so there’s not much I can say here, other than it’s a good thing Shaggy from Scooby-Doo was there to save the day!

31 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

31 responses to “Zoinks!

  1. S. Tortilla

    How do we know Jeff isn’t just making this up? I mean, from Crankshaft, he’s not exactly a model guy.

  2. beckoningchasm

    Well, in fairness, at least Tom Batiuk tried to draw something, and the artwork, by FW standards, isn’t too bad. Nice use of light and shading.

    After all, we could have had just Jeff’s big dumb head with all that text in word balloons, as he slowly raised his cup a coffee to take a sip.

  3. It’s John Denver to the rescue! In tomorrow’s strip, he sings “Rocky Mountain High.”

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Look at Frankie in panel two….grrrrr! He’s more animal than man. Luckily for Lisa, two complete strangers just happened to pass by, two complete strangers who lived directly above a couple that just happened to really want to adopt a baby! Fancy that!

    The most confounding thing in the midst of this most confounding (and really terrible) mega-arc is the wildly inappropriate use of those nostaligic corner thingies. They’re all well and good when you’re doing an arc about Les fondly reminiscing about wetting his pants back in the day, but not so much during a domestic violence retcon involving high school kids.

  5. Yeah, weedy Jeff with his spectacles looks like exactly the sort of guy who would make Frankie back down.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    In the first and second panels, he has Jff’s dialog above his “snapshot of the mind’s eye”, let’s say. He even emphasizes this by including the corner thingies under the dialog, essentially cropping the photos in his own delightfully crude way. Someone put a lot of love into this scrapbook, you know?

    Anyway, look at panel three. The dialog is suddenly part of the photo, floating there in a hazy cloud as if it’s part of the scene. But it’s not, it’s still Jff narrating. At the risk of being labeled a beady-eyed nitpicker, what gives with that? I mean why bother cropping the first two panels like that, then do it differently with the third?

    Then I realized what must have happened. BeckoningChasm has often floated a FW theory suggesting that he (Batty) does the art first then fills in the word balloons after. Here’s more proof to back that up. In this case, he discovered, much to his horror, that he couldn’t tell his story via panel three without cropping out part of Jff’s head. Rather than risk losing that crucial detail of the story (or dropping or moving around a word or two), he opted to just say “f*ck it” and crammed the dialog in there any which way, wrongly assuming that no sane human could possibly hate FW enough to complain about a detail that insignificant. Get your proper use of corner thingies together, Batiuk, you can’t just throw them around all pell-mell like that, like they’re fat characters or inane story arcs. They’re supposed to mean something.

  7. beckoningchasm

    Oh God, just noticed the banner art. So Summer is going to read Lisa’s Secret Diary. Good thing I just got in a new supply of vomit bags.

  8. Here 4 The Comments

    Judging their hairstyles and the lovebus van, Boy Lisa is well over 40 years old.

  9. J.R. Clark

    It looks like John and Cynthia Lennon rescued Lisa from the clutches of an angry Paul McCartney!

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Re: the banner art…oh no, no dear God, no.

  11. Rusty

    Don’t worry, the banner art depicts Summer playing with her iphone, ignoring Jeff and storytime in the background.

  12. sourbelly

    The Scooby-Doo gang saves the girl with the ink-leaking tube top from the evil punchiness of FrankenFrank!

    Jinkies!

  13. Gyre

    Note that it’s been close to an hour and a half since I put my comment in their site for moderation. Still hasn’t shown up. Anyone think if I point this out ten hours later today it’ll suddenly get approved?

  14. Slowly, he turned. Inch by inch, step by step. Suddenly, I noticed his Big Walnut Tech letterman’s jacket. “Hey! I know you,” quoth I. “You’re the star football quarterback from Big Walnut Tech, Franklin T. Rapist!”

    “Here’s the girl. Can I have your autograph?”

  15. bill mcneal

    Frankie in panel 2 appears to actually be a zombie. I think I saw that one when I was seven: Scooby Doo vs. The Zombie. It’s all here. Shaggy and a van too! Gee Batuk, I knew you were desperate but ripping off Scooby Doo? I guess it fits for him to take yet another series about young people and drag it down into a sad depressing ditch.

  16. Myke

    Yesterday had a better “punch” line.

  17. Sgt. Saunders

    It’s beginning to look like congress-interruptus by the Crankshaftians. The best retcon of all would be if as Jif explains how he and his mate prevented the Rapeage of Lisa and as he continues the narrative, Durwood just fades away, finally disappearing completely as the story concludes.
    Wooo-OOO-ooo…..

  18. billytheskink

    “He also muttered something about his van making the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs…”

  19. MKay

    Frankie appears to be two different glowering people as the strip progresses. I picture him fading away like the Cheshire Cat, with only the glower remaining.

  20. Jeffcoat Wayne

    John Sebastien of The Lovin’ Spoonful to the rescue! And his loyal sidekick, “Skunk” Baxter from The Doobie Brothers!

  21. They’d have had a better shot of getting a coherent look at the past FROM Shaggy!! Like, granted, they’d have to. like, have to, like, endure the word ‘like’ being like used as verbal filler but it’d like be like worth it.

  22. Rusty

    Those are Jeff and Pam’s “O” faces in panel one.

  23. Señor Tortilla

    With the recent retcon involving the sham marriage of the Fairgoods, I think it would be far more interesting if it turned out that Frankie shouldered the blame for Fred’s sake (who made some sort of deal with him a long time ago), who was Darin’s biological father all along. Saint Lisa the Cancered isn’t tarnished, either.

  24. Connie

    So the Society To Protect The Reputation Of Saint Lisa’s entire strategy to stop Frankie from going forward with his reality show idea is to have an elderly man claim to have witnessed Frankie almost, but not actually, punch Lisa 35 years ago? A claim that Frankie can easily deny?
    Seriously, your plan is to provide exactly the type of controversy and drama that makes people tune into these shows in the first place?

  25. Jimmy

    I’m still confused how Lisa got knocked up, then.

    @beckoningchasm: just noticed the banner art. So Summer is going to read Lisa’s Secret Diary. Thanks for ruining my weekend

  26. Epicus Doomus

    Lisa’s been dead for sixteen years and they’re STILL finding all sorts of Lisa memorabilia all over that house. She really was quite a stickler when it came to recording every single moment of her portentous life and times, wasn’t she?

    Summer reading Lisa’s old diary…that’s going to be nothing short of terrifying if you ask me. Get yer “awww” faces ready, gang (or should I say “ughhh”?).

  27. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    You know….the real sad thing about this flashback strip is knowing that Pam and Jeff were so heavily into ‘shrooms and weed back that they’re probably too stoned to fully appreciate the horrors of what they just witnessed. Now in their future sobriety of adult responsibility, they are completely wide awake to all the horrors that life has placed in front of them.

    The lesson here kids is this : Don’t stop doing drugs kids…Especially if you like in the Funkyverse.

  28. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Shall we place bets on where they find Lisa’s Secret Diary? I think we can rule out the bookshelf, unless it’s included as bonus material with the VHS tape labeled “In The Event That Frankie Comes Knockin’.” Can’t be in her underwear drawer; Les would have sniffed it out years ago. It looks in too good a condition to have been buried in the backyard. That’s the problem — I can’t think of any place TOO stupid or ridiculous for it to appear, which would naturally be the most obvious place for Batiuk to hide it.

  29. beckoningchasm

    Jeffcoat – perhaps at the end of his tale, Jff will produce it off-handedly. “Oh, by the way, Lisa gave me this to give to you, should this day ever dawn.”

  30. S.P. Charles

    So it’s going to turn out that after Frankie ran off, Jff impregnanted Lisa?? I guess that’s one way to derail Frankie’s reality show.

  31. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Beck: No matter where the “secret journal” comes from. we all know the true source of its origin is that Batiuk pulled it out of his ass.