SoSfDavidO filling in for the week, level grinding through this bog of a story arc…
Today’s claptrap is Tombat’s nod to Father’s Day? I think I’d rather have a monkey card and a bad tie, thank you.
And while I don’t think this is the intended effect, the more we get to know Frankie the more I think Lisa made a mistake leaving him for the spineless, smug, emasculated Les.
In any case, Happy Father’s Day, Funky Father’s out there! Here’s hoping you don’t have a father as terrible as Frankie or a son as awful as Funky.
Son of Stuck Funky 
So this is the place?
But unless thos kids Frank & Lisa did the nasty in the VW van… then got completely dressed (letter jacket and all).. then got outside and then Frank threaten with his fist…and enter Pm& jff.
I think the big surprise will be Frank is not Darin’s Father.. he’s just boasting.
In reality he could never rise to the occasion. So who really is Darin’s Father? That guy from the “Lighthouse”?
I think the latest retcon will be that it was never Frankie that impregnated St. Lisa. I think if it was Mr. Fairgood this entire time, then I’ll take back bad things I said.
It’s tough to remember a time when FW wasn’t mired neck-deep in this incredibly ponderous, slow-moving mega-arc. I mean it’s beginning to seem like FW was ALWAYS about a sneering one-dimensional idiot trying to film a reality show about the time he f*cked Lisa Moore in a van and the loosely-connected band of nitwits trying to stop him, you know? I suppose the week where Les accepted the movie option money was technically the beginning of this long national nightmare and that was back in like March or so, wasn’t it? I wonder if we’re even at the halfway point yet? It’s like being stuck in a blizzard with whiteout conditions, it’s tough to get your bearings when everything is exactly the same all the time.
Remember when Lenny was Frankie’s sinister “backup” henchman? Sigh, look at him now: a bloated, overly-sensitive “Hollywood”-type, a far cry from the casually leaning thug we first met in FTP’s seedy motel room, eh? And remember when Frankie’s face wasn’t always frozen in a permanent sneer and…oh, wait a minute. that never actually happened, sorry.
All in all, though, this beats the usual Father’s Day strip featuring the horrors of old age and senility, so there is that.
..or Fred?….he already had “Kerry” by then.
Closed mouths generally do not wrap halfway around a person’s face. I’m looking at you, Frankie. Batiuk hammers home the point that Frankie is not that invested in being a bio-dad to Durrwood.
Wow. So Batiuk has stretched this arc this long just so he could do this joke on this day? Maybe that means we can look forward to a little independence from this lame arc by the fourth of July, and surely Jessica will give birth to Duh-rin, Jr. by Labor Day.
Meanwhile at the house:
Darin: This is disgusting. How could anyone ever think about exploiting my moms death like this?
Les: Your right. How could someone ever exploit Lisa by making a reality show? It would have to be a book and/or a movie, then it would be okay. Oh and did I mentioned I’ve liscensed your mom’s face to a chain of yogurt stands? And also a pretzel company and a winemaker from Sonoma. I’ve been promised they’ll all be classy. Also, there’s these t-shirts, you like?
Darin: Yeah, the green logo really accents mom’s face well. Now, listen we need to really focus on how to stop this reality show.
Pardon my horrible imagination–
Frankie: I’ve filled this turkey baster with Les Moore’s semen! SUBMIT!
Lisa: No, no, never!
Frankie: I swear I will punch you so hard–!
(Arrival of Pm and Jff)
Jff: Hey, you! Unhand that female!
Pm: Yeah, you should–
Jff: –SHUT UP, FEMALE!
Pm: (cowers)
Frankie: You are NOT of the Body! You do not worship at the font of Batiuk! You will be absorbed!
Jff: No, no–we are of the Body. We are here to facilitate.
(Frankie lowers the Fist of Obedience)
Frankie: Then, you are–
Jff: Yes, from the First Federation.
Frankie: Okay, you must do what you must do. I will withdraw. (Makes elaborate hand gesture). I submit to the will of Batiuk.
Jff (to Lisa): You are so lucky!
Lisa: Yes, you saved me from–
Jff: No. Not lucky THAT way. Lucky THIS way.
(Jff brandishes the turkey baster)
Lisa: I WILL write all of this in my journal, you know! Oh…oh Les!
Rusty
Closed mouths generally do not wrap halfway around a person’s face.
Separated at birth?
Batominc has only two arrows in its narrative quiver when it comes to Father’s Day: drooling idiot and callous idiot. Seeing the callous one this year passes for “refreshing” in this nightmare of a long-form serial serious art form.
Frank was about to hit a helpless person (possibly over her pregnancy). Just because Batiuk isn’t great at making his characters appealing doesn’t mean we should start thinking his villains are appealing either (especially when they’re even less interesting).
Frankie’s mouth has extended to the point where he now resembles “South Park’s” version of Canadians.
Huh, and I thought today’s strip would be all about Jessica’s father John Darling. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do on a day like today: honor a long-dead parent you never really knew while completely ignoring anybody who might actually have had a hand in your upbringing?
So, this is going to end when Frankie the Legitimate Rapist is confronted on camera with Saint Lisa’s secret journal stating that Derwood’s father is someone else, probably a new character who tragically and conveniently died before he could do the honorable thing (marriage, not seppuku).
Of course, the entire cast will be at Montoni’s to confront this increasingly comically slimy prick, and the last we’ll see of him is his fuming face while Lenny tells him that this will make great television. Less, of course, will wear the smirk to end all smirks, and we might even get a knowing smile from above from Ghost Lisa.
There’s only one way Tom can redeem this arc:
Upon confronting Frankie and Lenny with Lisa’s Journal of Retconversations, both grin big and suddenly begin peeling away the cheap makeup, rubber noses, and wigs both have been wearing since the arc began.
(See? Lenny’s indeterminate pigmentation was foreshadowing.)
NotFrankie: “Hey there! I’m Ked Williams!”
NotLenny: “And I’m Will Keddams!”
NotFrankie: “Sorry for the deception, but we’re the joint CEOs of Cable Movie Entertainment! And you’re on UNDERCOVER BOSS!”
Jess: “omg, i love that show.”
Darin: “WHAT?!?”
Jess: “Er, I mean, REALITY TV? How EEEEEVIL!”
Apparently, Frankie & Lenny’s brain cells actually started to function, and they realized that they really don’t effing need Durwood’s approval to create this stupid show.
Also, wasn’t Jeff Murdoch supposed to be assisting in some legal action to prevent Frankie from doing all this? Did Jeff stop talking about the past long enough to file the court order?
I’m beginning to wonder if Tom Batiuk’s father never loved him. That or he disowned him sometime when Tom was writing Act II.
In other news, are Jif Peanut Butter and Pam Spray still relating their story to Dim Sum and the others?
Yeah, yeah, you’re all probably right.
But am I the only one who really, really likes that monkey card? I seriously would keep that for years if my kids gave it to me.