What the hell?? The idea well is getting awfully dry when you need to resort to jokes that make no sense whatsoever. Does he mean he needs to stay on a treadmill all day to merely maintain his current astronomical weight and not gain more? That’s not funny. And if that’s not the joke, what is it supposed to be? And why does everyone wryly smirk every time Funky makes another one of his sad-sack loser remarks about his decrepitude? What is it about this man’s slow and brutal slog to the grave that these people find so damned amusing? I just hope this ponderous debacle is over and we move on, although with FW you gotta be careful about what you wish for, you know?
Month: February 2014
The Fickle Hand Of Fat
Link To Today’s Strip
I don’t know what it would take to find Funky’s “core” although a wetsuit, thick rubber gloves and some type of breathing apparatus would probably be advisable. I do know that if he tries to lie on that ball like Fitness Girl is doing, that gym is going to have quite a lawsuit (and possibly some structural issues with the floor) on their hands. And another shuttered business is the last thing that town needs.
Still, I actually mustered up a weak chuckle at Funky’s creepy leering today, thus this one is in the lead for “funniest of 2014” so far. Still a lot of room in that category, by the way. Poor Fitness Girl, whatever they’re paying her at that gym, it isn’t enough. At least he’s isn’t sweating all over her today.
The Longest Forty-Something Years In The History Of Years
Link To Today’s Strip
Gotta hand it to Batiuk today. I would have thought that this “fatwad goes to the gym” arc would have played itself out after a panel or two but here it is, Thursday, and it’s still as fresh and hilarious as it was on Monday. Granted, the bar was set rather low……
Oh, hold on a second. At first glance I thought that was Mephistopheles himself, about to summon Funky on down to eternal damnation and all. But nope, it’s just a cynically smirking Fitness Girl wildly arching her eyebrows, presumably in bemused disgust at Funky’s pathetic punchline. I hear that, FG. But better be careful making those faces, if she gets stuck like that she’ll be banished from everywhere BUT Westview and no one wants that.
No Grit All Quit
The only sadist around here is TheAuthor. He obviously enjoys inflicting punishment on Funky and he was in his glory when he drew this one. Panel two is especially gruesome. I never thought any particular Funky drawing could be any more unflattering than any other one, but I stand corrected. That drawing should come with a parental warning. Look at the size of that one sweat bead too, wow.
It’s starting to become pretty clear why Funky’s various “get in shape” schemes always fail. One, he doesn’t try and quits as soon as it gets difficult and two, he never shuts the f*ck up while he’s supposed to be exercising. Complaints, gloating about “playing tennis”, wry remarks…no wonder he’s always gasping for breath. Keeping his big fat trap shut, that’s his problem.
I like the weird shading on Funky’s disgusting sweaty face though. Do you think they added that in after he drew it or is that just how that particular kind of shading shows up in newsprint form?
The Treadmill To Nowhere
Obesity, rapid aging, coronary issues, weird skinny legs and crippling malasie…these are “nagging little injuries”, Funky Winkerbean style. That sounds about right. And sorry Fitness Girl, but your “meal ticket” is in fact that pizza place down the road that’s stuffing the local kids full of stale leftover glop before they even get to school in the morning. That’s what the local mortician calls Montoni’s too, by the way.
The joke doesn’t even make sense. Fitness Girl isn’t a doctor or a physical therapist, so how would a rash of tennis-related injuries possibly benefit her? And what the hell is Funky babbling about? Tennis? Oh, that one time many years ago when he stood around a tennis court with Les and complained about something? Come on, be serious.
Son of Stuck Funky 