The theme of today’s strip is a recurring one in the Funkiverse: an improbably ideal situation (your book’s been optioned for a movie/ you’ve attained your dream job as a comic book writer/ you have a dinner date with a movie star) leads not to excitement and anticipation but dread and self-doubt. With so much invested in this date, you think Cindy might treat herself to a Beverly Hills spa visit, thus maximizing her attractiveness and maybe settling her nerves a bit. Instead, we see her fretting out loud before the mirror before resignedly settling for a passable result.
Month: April 2015
‘s Cool, “Girl”
She’s a network TV news vet who worked her way up from Channel One to the American Broadcasting Company (and back down again); who’s spent time in war zones and who even brokered the hostage swap that freed PFC Wally Winkerbean. Time may not have diminished her looks (as it has for her ex-husband and for every other adult in this strip save Les), but Cindy is filled with trepidation as she primps for her date with Mason Jarr the Movie Star. She can’t even bring herself to apply that black lipstick she’s holding in panel one.
Basket Case
Happy Easter, gang, and a tip of the ol’ SoSF Easter bonnet to Epicus and SoSFDavidO for their guest stints over the last several weeks! Your pal TFH is stepping in to ramp up the “festivities” marking the fifth anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky this week!
Before laying eyes on today’s tableau, I’d have wagered that today’s holiday would have passed unremarked (as it is in today’s Crankshaft, but then Easter 10 years ago might have fallen on a different Sunday). Despite the abundance of baskets, bunnies, and eggs, this scene suggests Christmas (specifically the Epiphany) more than Easter, as Westview’s Holy Family is surrounded by the Magi bearing gifts. I recognized dowdy, nondescript Kerry, Fred’s daughter from his first marriage, though she’s not been seen since Thanksgiving 2013. It took me a lot longer to surmise that the big smirking blonde to the right is Jessica’s mom Jan Murdoch Darling (you’re welcome).
Anyway, it’s a good thing for Skyler that this mob showed up bearing baskets, else he’d have had to content himself with that pitiful tiny basket before him, which I don’t think even contains any chocolate—that green rabbit’s probably made of carob or some crap. It’s certain that the basket’s chintzy size has less to do with “keeping Skyler away from candy”—on one of the two big candy holidays all year, for goodness’ sake—and everything to do with Boy Lisa’s meager Montoni’s salary.
Off The Deep End
I believe he’s used “shallow end of the gene pool” before, although I don’t remember where or when. It’s too Batiukian, there’s no way that’s new. Maybe during one of those Owen arcs with Wedgeman or something.
So let me get this straight. Pete decided to write a balls-out crazy “Mister Sponge” story to attract attention even though he knew it’d annoy and alienate some long-time readers. Then he became angry over the online whackadoodles who told him they were annoyed and alienated. I see. Perhaps his next step might be a series of puff-piece interviews where he could blithely dismiss his critics, followed by a hardbound set of “TAMS: The Other Clone” comics and maybe a book tour or two. Then art would REALLY be imitating life, eh?
What a strange and really boring story. Everything that Pete and his editors said would happen did happen…the end. I assume the guy who wrote it also realized this, so at the last minute he has Pete yell at his editors (who were nothing less than 100% supportive of the whole idea from day one) to create some “conflict” then has him feign surprise upon learning that the plan worked as predicted to give the story a “twist” at the end. And it fails miserably, as is to be expected when you’re filling that precious word balloon space with a bunch of unhinged anti-internet rants instead of, you know, stories and stuff. Nice try though.
Goop Rage
“Never seen such vitriolic memes before”…obviously not a SoSF regular, eh Pete? Well here’s a little vitriol for ya, pal…you suck, your comic book sucks, you’re a big mopey whiner, you talk to yourself out loud and everyone hates you. Feel better now? I sure do.
Man, does this one really take me back (sniff). Some of you fellow snarkers of a certain age know exactly what I’m talking about here. Back “in the day”, we didn’t have all these wifi doohickeys and high def plasma phones with the MP-whatevers. No, when we wanted to go online we’d all gather around the monitor and watch the black & white hand-drawn webpages flicker by together, as a family. There was just something about it all being on paper that made it so much better, you know? Paper that YOU drew on and that YOU decided was good enough…yep. Those were the days.
This one is amazing because he actually self-sabotages two separate jokes here. First he kills the crash dummy gag by drawing the most insane rendering of a web page ever. Then he craters gag two by choosing Gwyneth Paltrow as the least likely person to leave a hate comment on an online comic book nerd forum. I mean sure, she’s an unlikely candidate to do such a thing, there’s no doubt about that. But it just seems like such an odd and random choice, doesn’t it?
He should have used “Tom Batiuk” in that joke instead. That would have been pretty goddamned funny IMO. I mean come on, that would just blow everyone’s mind, right? “Hey, I got a tweet from Buddy The Dog…”i will bite you on sight you suck”!”. “You will never amount to anything you fraud – Le Chat Bleu”. “Finally, a writer the public hates more than me, love Mr. Moore”. “Thanks Pete I am now ruined – Chester The Chiseler”. You get the idea.
Son of Stuck Funky 