*Puff* The Tragic Fat Man

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Poor, poor Funky. A decade of steady exercise and he’s more decrepit than ever. Whiner too. One wonders why he keeps it up given how it produces no results whatsoever, but in the Funkyverse logic is kind of…uh…”fluid” like that. Like for example how no one has viciously murdered Les yet despite having numerous opportunities to do so. Very unrealistic. Just visit New Jersey and start gallivanting around with that smirk and that headband and see how far you get. He’d be severely beaten ten times before he hit the pavement.

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17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “*Puff* The Tragic Fat Man

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Of course he’s got to have Les outrunning the two soldiers who are in their mid-twenties. Of course.

  2. billytheskink

    But of course Les can keep up with the young, military-conditioned Cory and Rocky.

    Les, who neurotically feared the climbing rope in high school gym class.

    Les, who couldn’t play basketball at the the YMCA back in Act II for 5 minutes before getting himself knocked out cold.

    But of course…

    Edit: spacemanspiff beat me to it.

  3. I often wonder if the folks that Tom Batiuk based his comic strip on ever check in with the current view. Funky, for example.

    I can imagine in the early 70’s that Les Moore, cough, I mean Tom Batiuk told the real-life “Funky,” “Hey, I made a comic strip and you’re the star!” and the real-life Funky said “Hey, cool! Thanks!” and probably read the strip for a few years, but got bored and moved on.

    I wonder what he’d think if he saw the strip now. And I imagine his reaction wouldn’t be “Wow, you’ve totally caught how I’m a fat, alcoholic loser who can’t compete with his far more talented ‘friend’!”

    I’m thinking his reaction might involve a tire iron or a wrecking bar. And that is strangely cool.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    So are we going to have a week devoted to the running routine? Just when it seemed that the strip had reached its nadir, he finds a way to have even less plot.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    He’s as insufferable as ever. All smug and wry and superior to everyone like he’s King Of Fitness or something. I just want to douse him with gasoline and shove him under a Saturn V right before a launch. And this new bland n’ cheerful Cory is no bargain either, it’s like every distinguishing character trait he ever had was surgically removed. He looks like “Henry” now too and honestly I find it very disturbing.

  6. spacemanspiff85

    @beckoningchasm:
    I’ve got to imagine the reaction would be:
    “Man, this strip is terrible. How is it actually being published? And who is this guy who wrote it, again?”
    Because even if Batiuk wasn’t so obviously a loser who hated high school, odds are most of classmates have totally forgotten him because it’s been about fifty years and they’ve actually moved on from it.

  7. Not only do we have the relentless savaging of people who don’t know that they’re being maligned by someone they’ve forgotten, we also have another entry for the Batiukionary. “Kick it in” isn’t current English, right?

  8. The term is kick it into, as in, kick into high gear, as in, speed up. Nobody says just kick it unless they are homeboys ready to chill back at the crib, fire up a blunt, and get it on. Something tells me that TB, the whitest comic writer on the planet, knows much about kicking’ it…

  9. From the official FW blog: “The latest volume in the series that was an Eisner Award finalist in 2016 for Best Archival Collection is now available on this website in the ‘Books’ section.” The Complete Funky Winkerbean Volume 6: 1987-1989.

  10. A series of jogging strips this week? I’m out…

    See y’all Monday

  11. Professor Fate

    Huh, Jogging strips. One has to presume that the Author jogs, otherwise I can’t imagine why he keeps coming back to it. Well I suppose we should be thankful for small favors – imagine the tedium that a FW golf arch would generate, Funky lining up a putt, Les making a wry/nasty remark about how Funky has trouble getting up and down, Funky missing the putt and Les making a smirk face to end all smirk faces. At least we don’t have to deal with that.
    Which is, in the end, the depressing bit, FW, it can always get worse.

  12. I think that what we’re seeing is that Funky has died and gone to Hell, in which he continues to jog continuously, winded, overweight, and constantly 10 steps behind Les, for the rest of eternity.

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    What the hell is on Les’ sweater? It looks like a cartoon sun in the first panel, but then in panel 2 it looks like one of those heliocentric models Copernicus made. Is it an ironic statement to the dreariness of Westview. Is it product placement for Raisin Bran? Is it support for the struggle Copernicus went through for his beliefs? Has Les decided to become a Phoenix Sun’s fan?

    Yes, all those questions are more interesting then what the hell is going on in the plot!!!

  14. billytheskink

    I believe the logo on Les’ sweatshirt is supposed to be the Kent State University seal, though the online examples of the seal I see don’t have the corona-like border that Les’ does.

    Its presence on the dark blue background of Les’ sweatshirt, however, has always reminded me of the FBI seal from the “Winners Don’t Use Drugs” screen seen during the demo sequences of late 80’s and early 90’s arcade games.

  15. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Kick It In” – wasn’t that a song by The Cars?

    I’m going to jump back in time (you should all be used to it) to comment on a few things I missed. I thought some of TB’s finest artwork was in the Marianne “will she jump?” plot line. The panel standing atop the sign overlooking the city was good, but I loved the panel that showed Masone and Cindye approaching the sign, casting huge shadows on the letters. To me, that was his best panel ever.

    On the other hand, the perspective on the school buildings (I believe it was Doofus didn’t practice his trombone) was terrible. It wouldn’t have passed 7th grade art class. It was a good example of how not to do two-point perspective. I should know; I’m an art school drop out.

  16. bigd1992

    Where’s a drunk driver when you need one? Or an out of control school bus?

  17. Amy K

    Eisner Award finalist?
    Is that almost as good as being nominated for a Pulitzer Prize?