The Drill Bores

Link to today’s strip.

Here’s a song you’ve heard me sing too many times lately–well, here it is again.  Today’s strip was not available for preview.

I’m sure it’s more celebration of Dinkle, more childish wish-fulfillment, but maybe we’ll get Funky jogging or a comic book tribute.

No matter what, I can guarantee this:  it will be boring.

Batiuk seems unable to take any kind of criticism.  When I first started doing this, my idea was to be helpful; to point out why things didn’t work, how to make them work, which things did work, and so on.  But I’m guessing Batiuk doesn’t want to listen to anything but undiluted praise–the kind he got, I guess, for killing off Lisa.

So now he’s in a situation where the only people who read his strip…is us.  He’s bored everyone else away.  And since he hates criticism and refuses to change, he’s going to defeat us in the only route left to him:  to refuse to have anything of substance.  If there’s no meat, no one can complain about the cooking.  Look at November–aside from treating a character (from a different strip!) cruelly, it was all about raising money.  Watching people offer to sell things without actually showing an exchange.  The upcoming trip to Memphis promises to be at least as dull, if not quite so predatory.  It’s the way the drill always works out–you think, “Say, this might be promising” and it never is.

It seems like a heck of a way to run a hamburger stand, but then he’s the one pumping this garbage out.

And with that, I am outta here.  Stay tuned tomorrow when the fantastical David O returns to entertain you.  In this strip, he’ll be the only one who does.

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17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “The Drill Bores

  1. DOlz

    I remember as a kid we would take silly putty and stick on the Sunday funnies. When you pulled it off it would take some of the ink with it. Then you could stretch and distort it (we were easily amused). I only mention this because it looks like someone did that to Mort’s face before printing the comic.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    He “knows a guy”…wow, that’s a hacky plot device even by FW standards.

  3. billytheskink

    Walt used to live in sunny Memphis and had connections at one of the nation’s most famous musical landmarks… and now he lives in a Westview, Ohio nursing home with spotty wifi, playing Sousa in a quintet organized by a washed up megalomaniac. How terribly sad.

    Also, why is everybody BUT Walt talking about this?

  4. I remember the early phase of his breakdown. Back when we started, the idea seems to have been that he needed to atone for distracting people from Serious Issues by making them laugh a little. Now, it’s whining about not being given a pat on the head and told it’s a good thing that he’s about to make Sun Records another boring nothing-burger.

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Who’s your contact at Sun, Walt?”

    “I know this cat Col. Tim Parsley, manages this hot shot singer named Elton Pretzel.”

    “You know Col. Tom Parker and Elvis Presley?”

    “That’s right! Spoke to ’em yesterday, they said for us to come on down!”

    “Ruh -roh!”

  6. Chyron HR

    Oh, I see, they’re gonna play Sun STUDIO. For the past few days I thought Batiuk was trying to win a Pulitzer by taking a bold stand against apartheid.

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “No, no, dang it! I said I knew somebody who has a recording studio ON the sun.”

    “Walt, you idiot. We can’t fly to the sun! We’d burn up!”

    “No problem. We’ll go at night.”

  8. Don

    How soon before a song by The Bedside Manorisms (in actuality, some middle school band with one of Tom’s somewhat distant cousins in it) is released “by Sun Records” for some overpriced amount with all proceeds going to Lisa’s Legacy?

  9. Hey Tom, so cool you enjoyed Memphis and took that Sun tour. I hope all the negroes you ran into while there were hep, sunglasses-sporting, stereotypical blues men like you portray Walt in the splash panel today. Love that casual racism, bro. Say, how’s Cayla? Haven’t seen her lately. Any plans to let her grow her natural out again?

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Naw, Tommy Boy doesn’t engage in mindless stereotyping! I’m sure all THREE of the Jews Batty has met in his lifetime were short, pudgy, nerdy, glasses-wearing smartmouths.

      On the other hand, Tombat has never actually met a black person.

      As for Cayla, please don’t bring her up around Batty again. He never knew just what to do with her, and is currently trying to figure out a way to kill her off. She first arrived as an average 30-something Black woman with a 1970’s ‘fro hairdo. Later, she grew those Angry Dreadlocks, but all of Batty’s 70 year old fans in Ohio got nervous and started locking their car doors and clutching their purses a little tighter when they saw her. Hell, even the other White characters were a little afraid of her. If you recall, Les wouldn’t marry her unless she “whitened up a WHOLE lot.” So she got the hair straightened, the nose COMPLETELY removed and replaced from a white cadaver, and the skin lightened several shades.

      Batty still expected to get some sort of award for daring to show this edgy interracial marriage,but that never happened. All he got was a bunch of anonymous, poorly spelled hate mail from his rednecky Ohio fans. Decorum forbids that I quote any of these letters.

      Anyway, when Walt first introduced the idea, it wasn’t that well received.

      Walt: “Yo yo yo, checkitout! I got us studio time at Sun Studios in Memphis.”

      Drumstick Gurl: “Oh? How’d you do that?”

      Walt: “Uh, I dunno. Oh wait, I got it. I know a guy.”

      Vi O’Lynn: “Wow, that’s original.”

      Mort: “Do you know any guys in cities with no Negros?”

      Walt: ***

      Drumstick Gurl: “Well… Do you?”

      • Rusty Shackleford

        I noticed that at a Batty’s book signings he mentions he was nominated for an award in 2008…that’s almost ten years ago…it’s not enough to say you are the author of FW and Crankshaft.

  10. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    That must be a British record player in the title panel, because the tone arm is driving on the wrong side of the road!

  11. Epicus Doomus

    I also enjoyed Dinkle’s sarcastic sidewards glance in the last panel, as if this scheme is any nuttier than any of the thousands of asinine schemes HE’S cooked up over the years. He’s only at most a few years younger than these people are anyhow AND they did all the work without any help from him whatsoever, yet he’s all cynical and condescending about it all.

  12. ian'sdsrunkenbeard

    I think the break that Mort is looking for is the opportunity to take it on the lam when security is lax on their trip to Memphis. He plans to slip out at night and make his way by putting his hat out on Beale Street. He is hoping the locals will be hip to his trombone stylings of jazz standards, and he will be free, free at last!