Why, just why?-day, April 20

Today’s strip was not available preview, so it is time to dive into the archives to find answers to the questions that YOU, the loyal and hearty SOSF readers, want to know!

Today’s question comes from B.D. Idenitpicker from Picher, Oklahoma.

When did Pete get those bags under his eyes? Was he born with them?

The answer, obviously, is yes. Pete’s eye bags were visible on ultrasound. But, I know you all are here for archival evidence, so lets see some, shall we?

FW9-2-98
Here’s Pete’s first appearance in the fall of 1998 and… what? No bags? Or are Pete’s eye bags all we see here around his nose, not his eyes themselves? I subscribe to the latter theory.

FW9-4-98
Pete’s bags are on clear display in this strip, where much-missed Act II arsonist Mooch Myers takes Durwood’s property with no intention of returning it. I would like to see more of this, actually.

FW9-10-98
Pete’s bags grew considerably here in this strip, where he creepily pines for his best friend’s future wife.

FW9-11-98
And they grow further still when talking about his parent’s divorce, because Act II was all about EVERYONE having a personal raincloud.

There you have it, sports fans. Pete has never gotten enough sleep, or learned about antihistamines. Until next time, keep sending in those post cards!

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27 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “Why, just why?-day, April 20

  1. countoftowergrove

    Old man shows up out of thin air. It’s true. Mopey and Durward are not worthy of witnessing such feats of prestidigitation.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Oh no, not ANOTHER “back in the day” character. Cliff and Vera, Phil Holt, that Buck asshole and now this jerk. I like how he stashed this ninety year old man in an abandoned building all day just to surprise Pete and Boy Lisa, who of course worship this old comic book writer who was last “relevant” decades before they were even born.

    When BatWad created his Starbuck Jones/Batom Comics fantasy world-within-a-fantasy world he had the chance to create a whole vivid sub-universe for himself, full of mythology and interesting characters. Instead he chose to wallow in nostalgia (for something that never really existed, mind you) and bizarre nonsensical tangents, like decoder rings and gimmick weddings. Now, after all that wasted time, he’s flashing out his fantasy world by re-creating his imaginary fantasy world within his fantasy world, which is several fantasy worlds too many if you ask me. Why not just DO a Batom Comics story arc instead of doing an arc about three guys trying to re-create Batom comics, but only now and with a stupid name too? It’s all so convoluted it’s not even a conventional “story” anymore, it’s just a series of really dumb contrived barely-related events, seemingly with no end in sight either.

    • Hannibal's Lectern

      “Why not just DO a Batom Comics story arc instead of doing an arc about three guys trying to re-create Batom comics, but only now and with a stupid name too?”

      Because he’s not actually interested in the stories that would be inside a real Batom Comics book; he’s interested in the process of being a comic book writer. Kinda like the way the old “Dick van Dyke Show” focused on the goings-on behind the scenes at the Alan Brady show, but rarely showed us any of the Brady program itself.

      Except, of course, that the “Dick van Dyke Show” was funny.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    If Batiuk ever wonders why he’s not as successful as he “should be”, all he has to do is look at the garbage like this he produces.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yeah, and though I thought his new stuff was crappy, he has quite a history of producing garbage.

      Nerds are usually funny, but not when Batty’s directing the scene.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Then there’s Chester. After naming his business based on a store he visited once and buying a huge dilapidated old building that doesn’t suit his needs at all, it turns out that he’s already hired the original Batom Comics writer too. So far he’s running AK completely by surprise, a sound business strategy if there ever was one.

  5. erdmann

    So, if the late Phil Holt was a Jack Kirby stand-in, is this fellow supposed to be Stan Lee? Consider this: After Kirby left Marvel for DC in 1970, he created Mister Miracle (also known as Scott Free). A re-occurring character in his book was a self-serving promoter, supposedly based on Lee, named Funky Flashman. Am I giving ye olde writer too much credit for trying to be clever? Consider this: He wrote the rest of this strip, too.

    • hitorque

      Big Barda!

      I saw a New Gods movie was in the works, I wonder who they’ll get to play her…

      • comicbookharriet

        Big Barda/ Mr Miracle OTP forever!

        • hitorque

          Piss on Scott Free, I wanted Barda for myself!

          (It’s funny only because my real name is also Scott so I could pretend that Barda’s dialogue was directed at me back in the day)

  6. billytheskink

    So, has Flash Freeman been trapped in this building since Batom Comics shut down? Is that why he just appeared out of seemingly no where?

    That would explain his gaunt appearance. I mean, he looks like a tapeworm. Not like he has a tapeworm, but his physical appearance resembles a that of a tapeworm.

  7. redsnifit

    Pete has eyebags, Freeman has eyebags, Holt has eyebags. Apparently having giant eyebags is a necessary part of being a komix writer.

  8. Charles

    “I found him in the closet when I bought the place.”

    Since these Mopey, Dipshit and Chester came to the building together, but this is the first time Mopey and Dipshit became aware of this geezer, was he just hiding out in the building waiting for the moment when Chester would pull back the curtain whereupon he would reveal himself? It’s absurd on its face.

  9. I wonder if Batiuk realizes that he left himself wide open for a pedestrian aside about how at least Pete and Darrin are being honest about themselves. Probably not. He’s too busy feeling sorry for himself because stunted fungus people in basements say cruel and useless things about his pulling things out of his ass and expecting praise for it.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    If this continues along this trajectory all the way to the 50th anniversary, we can probably expect the final panel of the last strip to be of the Eaton Building encased in a snow globe.

  11. comicbookharriet

    Thanks for the trip down memory lane Billy! I always love the archive dive.

    Also, interesting that Pete’s parents are not together, fits my joking theory that the in-universe explaination for his surname change is a falling out with his father.

  12. Jimmy

    Am I the only one getting a broken image when I go to the link?

    • Jimmy

      Never mind. Found it elsewhere. It was underwhelming. I swear a 12-year-old from 1966 writes this stuff.

  13. Professor Fate

    “‘we’re not worthy” REALLY? a) The Jokes over 20 years old and b) This guy was the head writer when the ship went down in 72 or whenever and apparently hasn’t worked in comics since. How good can he be? It’s like proudly announcing that someone who was let go because his record was 4-20 the last time he pitched ten years ago is your new number one pitcher.
    It doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. None nada zippo.
    And oh yes if this guy is around why did Chester bother to hire Pete?

  14. If I can use the word “point,” the one here seems to be that everything was so much better when silver age Flash comics were being made. And by God, Batiuk is going to recreate that environment if it kills Chester.

    • hitorque

      Hey, if “La La Land” could bring back the old-style 50s musicals, who’s to say the world isn’t ready for un-ironic George Reeves Superman and Adam West Batman again…

      Of course, you’d need the touch of a deft artist infinitely more talented than Batiuk….

  15. hitorque

    1. Why does everybody in the Funkyverse feel the need to constantly do surprises, grand gameshow-style reveals and “WOULD OUR MYSTERY GUEST STAR PLEASE SIGN IN!” -moments??

    2. What, so dude was just waiting off-panel in total silence until his time came to be introduced?? Oh and Batiuk, people stopped doing the “Wayne’s World” thing right around 1993…

    3. “Funky” is already bad enough, so we need a permanent ban on “old dudes with teenage nicknames that don’t fit them at all.” And if Batom was around in the early 1950s and Flash is the original head writer, shouldn’t he be pushing 100 years old now?

    4. Can we please kill off the “long-retired 89 year-old-man wants back into the comics rackets for reasons nobody really knows” trope? I mean, didn’t Batiuk already milk it dry with Cliffe Angere?

    5. Those above panels came after the time my local paper dropped the strip, but good to see that Pete was a creepy obsessive virgin loser even then… So I was right in thinking that Mindy is the first piece of trim he’s ever seen up close and in person…