Grood Zeb

Link to Today’s Comic.

I think that positivity is an important element of growth. No matter how bad something is, pointing out the good things hopefully gives a foundation for improvement. So, in that light, I am going to use The Sandwich Method, so named because the pieces of bread represent positive feedback/compliments while the meat of the sandwich (or innards if you’re vegetarian) represents constructive criticism.

Bottom slice. The art today is pretty good. The human actually looks human, with no bulbous nose or drooping eyes. The action is dynamic and the background is detailed.

Meat of Criticism: Once again….comics bagged and boarded are colored as if they’re in unmarked Manila envelopes instead of plastic. This makes it look like our protagonist has stayed late to sort his porn.

Top slice of compliments. By Batiukian standards, Rusty Staples isn’t the WORST name they could have come up with. I’ve known several men, (most older than 50) with the name Rusty. And it rolls off the tongue leaps and bounds better than Cliff Angere or Masone Jarre. It’s comics related without being something like, Varence Covar or Polly Bagg.

Olive and toothpick. I’ve been puzzling over the name of the store for hours. What could it be? GROOMED ZEBU? GROOVY ZEB’S? GROUP ZEBRA?

Ground Zero.

The comics shop name is Ground Zero.

I take it back. I take the bread back. There is only the wet slimy coldcuts of criticism here…because Ground Zero is the most offensive name for a shop since a Christmas outlet called Holly Costs No More.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “Grood Zeb

  1. DOlz

    One of the comics is named SAG, so I guess the screen actors guild has their own comic.

  2. Ground Zero Comics is a Real Place in Ohio: Strongsville, to be exact, and it’s located in a strip mall, not in the basement of a pizza parlor. Batiuk did a book signing there some years back and in a 2011 interview cited it as his hangout.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Man, I hate how much Batiuk loves these stupid “funny” names. The biggest sign of him being a crap writer is that he somehow has TWO different characters named Rocky Rhodes.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Batty is still good at writing “seniors” gags. Crankshaft has been somewhat funny this week.

  4. billytheskink

    As someone who survived a significant flood event and lost a fair bit of property in said flood event, I am actually not at all offended by this premise. As an avid reader of comics, however…

  5. The Dreamer

    Rusty Staples? hope that isn’t a real person!

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Rusty Staples isn’t the worst Batiukism I’ve ever seen, although it’s definitely predictable. So obviously Rusty will be drowned into superhero-dom, but what will his superpower be? The ability to dry water damaged comic books? That’s a talent that will impress exactly one person on Earth. I’ve never known anyone with an imagination that’s so simultaneously whimsical and dull. That Batom is quite the conundrum.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    Holy crap. Did anyone notice that Batiuk gave a writing workshop this past weekend? I saw it on his blog. I have to imagine the entire workshop would just be him rambling about how great Lisa’s Story was, and which Flash covers are his favorite, and not taking any questions.
    And he also thinks this is one of the best comic covers ever, apparently:

    • It’s the exact same pose he stole for his “SpongBob Jr is dead! And it’s all my fault!” cover. I think the first use was a Batman comic from decades ago. It’s something that apparently resonates with him.

    • Le Chat Bleu

      Oh my god, can you imagine taking a writing lesson with this rambling buffoon.

      • spacemanspiff85

        If he had any samples of his writing, it’d have to be from 20 years or so ago, which would be real, real awkward. I seriously doubt any students would want to emulate “Pete and Darin Go to the Flash Museum and Buy a Dolly”.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Read the interviews in the links above, he even talks this way!

  8. Oh, great. He’s about to plagiarise Swamp Thing ineptly. It’s one thing to rip off a better writer…it’s quite another to do the piss-poor job of it Batiuk is doing.

    • Professor Fate

      I’m thinking more The Flash which would fit in with the authors obsession. But Swamp thing works.

  9. gleeb

    Hmph. I thought it was “Groove Zero”, which at least plays with the phrase.

  10. Rusty

    The comic book store owner doesn’t look enough like a loser. Get him a Batman t-shirt and beer gut, stat!

    • hitorque

      Well to be fair, just before the tsunami hit he *was* about to take those newly arrived hentai compilations (“Now with 50% more tentacles, just for the American market!”) into the bathroom for some “special time” together…

  11. The artwork today is actually pretty good. I wonder if Burchett said something like “Damn it, Batiuk, let me draw my way. Quit crapitizing my work.”

    • spacemanspiff85

      I’m pretty sure that’s the case. The first couple weeks he did this strip were actually not bad.

  12. Professor Fate

    Ah…not to nit pick – just kidding of course to nit pick – A wall of water that large coming towards you comic shop would make an enormous racket not to mention the ground would be shaking so unless Rusty is Deaf and on some sort of medication I call foul.

    • hitorque

      I just want to know how a tsunami suddenly strikes Central Ohio… Maybe Pete should get on that stupid treadmill for another 12 hours…

    • Charles

      Not only that, but it rained enough to bust the dam on the reservoir. The town’s emergency crews would have had plenty of time to alert and evacuate the community downstream. They would have known for hours beforehand that the dam could go down and consequently, no one would be just minding their own business when suddenly, a wall of water came crashing in and drowned them.

      Otherwise, we’d be having dam collapses and catastrophic flooding every time it rained.

  13. hitorque

    Even Booster Gold had a better origin than this…

  14. hitorque

    Even Big Nate great creation “Ultra-Nate” had a more compelling origin story…

    Even Comic Book Store Guy’s “Everyman” had more thought put into it than this…

  15. Le Chat Bleu

    Couldn’t be more of a contrast between the decent-looking Rusty and Pete’s hideous grimace in the top left.

  16. timbuys

    I’m impressed that ‘Rusty’ turned to face the wall of glass shard laden water coming for him.

    My instinctive reaction would’ve been to crouch; his appears to be to do the Hula.

  17. spacemanspiff85

    I almost missed Batiuk’s trademark annoying redundancy: the comic shop owner was working late in his comic shop? Does he have other shops? I’m kind of surprised Batiuk didn’t repeat “comic shop” again in the second panel.