Lespicable

I don’t have words right now for today’s strip, so here is a list of synonyms for “Les Moore” that I found in the thesaurus:

cheap, contemptible, cruddy, deplorable, dirty, grubby, lame, lousy, mean, nasty, paltry, pitiable, pitiful, ratty, scabby, scummy, scurvy, sneaking, sorry, wretched, abhorrent, abominable, condemnable, detestable, execrable, hateful, loathsome, odious, disgusting, reptilian, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, revulsive, discreditable, disgraceful, dishonorable, disreputable, ignominious, shameful, base, ignoble, low, shabby, sordid, squalid, vile, blamable, censurable, reprehensible, reproachable, cowardly, craven, dastardly, unethical, unprincipled, unscrupulous, base, currish, detestable, execrable, low-down, low-minded, snide, sordid, , evil, foul, immoral, iniquitous, wicked, cruel, vicious, debased, degenerate, depraved, atrocious, villainous, monstrous, horrible, appalling, pathetic, egomaniacal, jerky, are-you-still-in-high-school-?-good-grief-get-over-it-man-!-don’t-you-have-a-life-now-?

Please feel free to add any that I and Merriam-Webster may have missed. Thanks.

Also, just to remind anyone who wasn’t reading back in 2011, or those who have had the good fortune to forget, Bull’s bullying of Les in high school was an act to protect Les from real bullies. It’s like Les doesn’t even read this strip…

64 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

64 responses to “Lespicable

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Oh hey, it only took till the third strip of Bull’s funeral for Les to whine about how Bull bullied him and make the whole thing all about himself. Here’s a preview of the rest of this week’s strips:
    Thursday-Les pisses on Bull’s casket.
    Friday-Les craps on Bull’s casket.
    Saturday-Les makes out with Linda, sprawled across Bull’s casket.
    Sunday-A single panel of Les banging Linda on top of Bull’s casket, while everyone else cheers him on and talks about what a great writer he is.

  2. comicbookharriet

    Yes. Dwell on the four years he bullied you, and also protected you from bullies. Not on the fifteen to twenty years he was a friend who helped you with your dying wife, your daughter’s knee injury, and your mountain climbing training. Way to honor the last time he ever spoke to you, three years ago, when he asked you to stay in touch.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    F*ck you, Les. The hatchet was buried, atoned for and retconned away years ago but don’t let that stop your smug bearded whining and obnoxiously judgmental disdain, you giant dick with ears. I’ve never wanted to behead Dick Facey with a shovel more than I do today. I’ve frequently wanted to just as much, but not more.

    BatYak and his inability to let go of his old fictional high school grudges, man. He appears to have absolutely no idea how petty, childish and wildly unrealistic this is either. Years and years of hatchet-burying and atonement and retcons and none of it meant a damn thing, because of high school. Does he really not know that normal people do not think like this? Or is making Les as detestable and repugnant as possible the real goal here? What the f*ck is he doing here anyway, wasn’t this supposed to be about Linda’s various woes? What a dick.

    • spacemanspiff85

      There was a guy on Comics Kingdom years ago who swore Les was intentionally unlikeable and not supposed to be Batiuk’s avatar. I haven’t seen a single thing to indicate that, myself.

      • Charles

        I don’t necessarily think Les is an author avatar for Batiuk, I think it’s even worse. He’s an aspirational author avatar. Les is who Batiuk wishes he could be. Conversely, Funky is who Batiuk fears he is, which is why he hates him so much.

        • William Thompson

          Funky–is that the guy who works hard, doesn’t get the respect he’s earned and got help when he had a serious problem? That does indeed sound like some of Batiuk’s deepest fears.

  4. William Thompson

    Tomorrow:
    Panel 1: “All in all I feel rather noble for having tolerated his abject apology for having bullied me, and thoroughly justified in having taken advantage of the help he gave to me and my daughter Autumn, yet somehow I need one more chance to bury the hatchet in his back. Lord, hear my prayers!”

    Panel 2: Linda speaks to Les. “You were Bull’s best friend these past years, except for the part where you never showed up. Would you consider writing his life story, and helping to warn people of the price paid by CTE victims?”

    Panel 3: Les casts his eyes downward. “Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers so swiftly!”

    • spacemanspiff85

      I find it hard to believe Les would worship anything other than himself

      • William Thompson

        Satan knows you’re right, but the dude’s all about collecting those souls mentioned in the contracts.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          Great, now I’m imagining Cuphead,except with FW-style artwork, and FW characters as the bosses.

          Root Pack – the Atomik Komix crew (Mopey Pete is definitely the onion)
          Sally Stageplay – Cindy
          King Dice – Les (he takes the most screen time and is an asshole)
          Etc.

          There is no final fight, because once you’ve collected all these people’s souls, you’ll gladly hand them over to the devil for eternal torment.

          • William Thompson

            And no need to say “Poor Satan, stuck with that bunch for eternity.” I’m sure he’s looking forward to giving them his personal attention to the end of time.

  5. William Thompson

    Hurry it up with the hatchet job, you rat-faced gasbag! Only eleven chopping days left on that Pulitzer-nomination deadline!

  6. Good grief, does Batiuk think Les’ remark is somehow profound, or meaningful? Here’s a hint: it isn’t, not even slightly, and it only illustrates that some people just can’t let high school go…because they stopped developing as people.

    I’ve never been back to my high school and only keep in touch with one person from my class. You know why? Because high school was one small area of my life, and I’ve kept it that way.

    And yes, as everyone has noted, more chances here for Les to piss on Bull and present himself as the true victim of all this.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Like a lot of Batiuk’s writing, he’s going for deep and profound and it just comes off as disturbed and troubling.

  7. billytheskink

    Les has a great memory of high school… and a really poor memory of the much much much much much longer period of time Bull was a really good friend to him. A much better friend than he ever deserved, to be frank.

    Who coordinated the first Lisa’s Legacy Run we ever saw in this strip? Nope, not Les. He had galavanted out to New York City with Summer for a larger breast cancer awareness jog. Who did he leave in charge? You guessed it, Frank Stallone

    Les is a putz.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Bull did nothing BUT make amends. Arc after arc of Bull making amends to Les and none of it meant a thing to Les, because he just can’t let high school go. It’s totally mind-boggling. This strip serves no narrative purpose whatsoever, it’s just a mean-spirited throwback to an ancient running gag Batiuk abandoned decades ago.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Don’t insult putzes, please.

    • Paul Jones

      Also a shnook.

  8. William Thompson

    What is with you, Les? PTSD? Get a service animal. I suggest a skunk.

  9. comicbookharriet

    You know what has really started to annoy me about this arc? (Keep in mind I wasn’t onboard the Funkysnark train at Lisa’s death.) The lack of any nod to any of the population of Westview being religious save the two nominal Muslims. He wants to play both sides of that coin by hiding it behind our ears. That’s why we’re at the graveside instead of at an actual funeral service. To leave it open to the conservative grannies reading the paper that Bull had a nice normal Lutheran service, and was entrusted safe in the Lord’s care, before the graveside, while not offending the non-religious readers who can view the strip as a secular humanist utopia free from the noodly grasp of flying spaghetti monsters. For a man who gives himself bruises by patting himself on the back over facing tough issues, the spinelessness of his secularity is slimy as sin. Literally.

    • William Thompson

      As an atheist, I’d rather see some religion in this strip. How people’s faith is portrayed in fiction gives you an idea of their character. Batiuk is too unimaginative to see that and too cowardly to try it. It’s like his treatment of gays in the high-school-prom arc. Yeah, he can slap down the whiny homophobe, but he can’t give the gay kids names or identify the one in the costume. Batiuk won’t risk his nice, safe career, which is why he’ll be forgotten when the strip ceases publication.

      • spacemanspiff85

        Also, in order to give an idea of character, Batiuk would have to put in some effort. I think that’s the thing he avoids more than he anything else.

      • comicbookharriet

        Exactly, as a Christian, it wouldn’t bother me at all to have characters in the strip express agnostic or atheist belief. Or even to have characters that don’t care at all. But it isn’t a realistic depiction of a Wisconsin community to have no Christians in sight. And given the age and demographics of the main characters, chances are 75 percent of them were raised associated with some flavor of church, even if they were only Christmas and Easter Christians. But maybe it’s better that way. Les reeks of the kind of insufferable person that calls himself a ‘humanist’ because he worships his own farts. It would be a disservice to areligous people everywhere.

        • ComicTrek

          This strip is a disservice to ALL people everywhere, so that’s probably why.

        • William Thompson

          To Les, lack of religion only means he gets to sleep in on Sunday mornings and he doesn’t have to think about morality.

      • Count of Tower Grove

        Well there WAS that minister officiating the Starsux Jones wedding!

    • Epicus Doomus

      I can tell you this about TB and FW: he will go to great, great lengths to avoid doing anything that might “offend” anyone, even peripherally. For all his chatter about “reality-based” stories, every FW arc always takes the least controversial path possible. Even Lisa’s death arc was just a big bunch of sappy mush.

      By acknowledging anything more than nebulous generic “faith” Batom might risk angering some Catholics or Unitarians or whoever, thus it’s always as vague as possible with no hint of any specific identifiers. Like with the infamous same-sex couple arc. After quickly identifying the existence of a same-sex couple, Batiuk ran the hell away from them as quickly as possible until the story was about Roberta’s overbearing personality instead. Then he brought it around full circle by declaring that same-sex couples were OK, I guess, as long as there’s no specific rule specifying they’re not. As non-committal as it could possibly be.

      • comicbookharriet

        TFW 9 Chickweed Lane does a better job portraying people of faith and integrating them into it’s diverse world….

    • gleeb

      They’re burying Bull the day after he died. I still say Jerome Bushka was Jewish all this time and Batiuk never told anyone.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Jerome “Curly” Bushka

        • Rusty Shackleford

          Jerome Curly Bushka, descendent of Rabbi Shlomo Bushkovowicz from the shtetl near Lublin Poland. The Rabbi was well known for bullying his students for their slow learning. They settled in Cleveland after coercing the Mooreshowitcz family to bring them over.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Lisa’s funeral was a prime example of the gloomy Les-centered melodrama that we’re seeing this week. Even the Thomas Moore poem TomBa had Les recite at the gravesite is a lament by the speaker about how willingly he’d go to the grave because life is awful. Here’s the whole poem called Elegiac Stanzas:

      How sweetly could I lay my head
      Within the cold grave’s silent breast;
      Where Sorrow’s tears no more are shed,
      No more the ills of life molest.

      For, ah! my heart, how very soon
      The glitt’ring dreams of youth are past!
      And, long before it reach its noon,
      The sun of life is overcast.

      What makes Les so unlikable is his seeming delight in being miserable and making sure the world knows about how ill-used he is.

    • Merry Pookster

      They worship Pizza and comic Books

  10. ComicTrek

    THIS IS NOT ABOUT LES! OR HIS RETCON PAST! This is SUPPOSED to be about the man who died – as an indirect result of CTE! Batom doesn’t care about Bull at all, or even about bringing CTE awareness to a comic strip. In fact, I think this was all an elaborate plan to kill him off quickly and sweep him under the rug!

    • Cabbage Jack

      By Jove, I think you’re right…he ran out of CTE ‘gags’ and decided he needed to wrap this up so he could focus on the Mary Sue Comixx Xompany and Marty Stu Author-Avatar. So he did it with a whimper, like every other idiotic ‘prestige arc’ he dreams up.

  11. This is actually a great illustration of Les’ character. Essentially, he will look for the one negative aspect of something, and that aspect will be that thing’s definition for all eternity. He goes to a restaurant and has a great meal, but the waitress didn’t recognize him as an author so that event is characterized as “lousy service.”

    Same here. Bull has done lots and lots of things to help him out, but rather than focus on any of that, Les has to laser in on when Bull and he were at odds.

    Given Funky’s obvious deep depression, it makes the “I screwed up” “Yes you did” exchange a little more explicable. Les is always reminding his friends of how they failed him, and Funky really takes it as the foundation of their relationship.

    • Epicus Doomus

      The really disturbing thing about it IMO is how BatHack went to great lengths to demonstrate that Bull atoned for his past transgressions, only to have Les dismiss those efforts with a glib remark at the guy’s funeral. Weeks and weeks of stories and for what? Why did he even bother with developing the character in the first place? What was the point? And what does this tell the reader? Seems to me it basically says “you can safely ignore this because none of it matters anyway”.

  12. Gerard Plourde

    Today’s strip is truly pathetic. And what exactly happened to the CTE research that was supposed to be highlighted?

    • William Thompson

      Maybe Les is going to deliver the graveside lecture about CTE. Then we’ll see the living envy the dead.

    • Robert Muir

      Alas I think the bit were Linda was telling the support group about how Bull had changed is all we’re going to get.
      As a side note i’m always fascinated in a perverse way by the vast gap between the comic strip that Batiuk describes to reporters or talks about in the blog and the strip we read.

  13. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    What’s that gray triangle in the last frame? Is Bull being interred in a pyramid? No wonder Linda was so worried about money. “The Trabant’s wearing out and we wanted to get a new car, but Bull puts every spare cent into his pyramid, and pyramids don’t come cheap.”

    • William Thompson

      It’s a canopy placed over the grave site. Now where’s the mound of excavated soil next to the grave? It should be covered by a tarp or strips of astroturf. And who were the pallbearers? Least, Summer, Keisha and Buck Futt should have been among that group.

      • ian'sdrunkenbeard

        Thanks, Mr. Buzzkill. First I lose my talking murder chimp, now I lose my pyramid. Next you’ll tell me there’s no Santa Claus and Elvis is dead.

        • William Thompson

          There’s no Easter Bunny, either. But there is a Krampus and he’s visiting Batiuk this December.

          Fair enough?

  14. Charles

    If Les were worth a shit as a literature teacher, he could quote Faulkner “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” And Batiuk wouldn’t even realize how ironic that would be. It’s the strip’s ethos, and exclusively about four years when all these people now nearing 60 were children.

    Anyway, Les, you know, if you didn’t want that to happen you could have, you know, moved away and done something else with your life. You didn’t have to go work at that same high school and spend the rest of your life in the company of everyone you went there with.

  15. Paul Jones

    Well, here is another example of why it’s a shame we can depend on Batiuk. We have a wearisome and incorrect platitude from a shallow idiot who doesn’t understand anything worth a hot God-damn. High school didn’t follow Les. Les stalked high school. Les wore high school down. Les told high school he had no home and made it promise to wait for him. High school married Les because it respected John and Elly Patterson’s opinion and wanted them to love it more than Michael.

  16. AmigoLupus

    To add to the list of words to describe Les: “Leech”. From what I gather, this guy only found success leeching off Cancerwife’s death and making it all about his pain and suffering. Even now, in the funeral of a guy who suffered CTE and killed himself, Les keeps trying to shift the spotlight onto him. He’s the lowest of the low, and if Batiuk had any self-awareness, he’d make Linda throw him out of the damn funeral for saying this hateful shit.

  17. Banana Jr. 6000

    As hateful as this is, it really does touch on a central theme of Funky Winkerbean: the inability to leave high school behind. Which some people can’t. I know some, and I’m sure you do too. Which could be interesting, if the strip had any concept that other possibilities exist in life. It doesn’t realize that Les, Funky, Cindy, and others in this trap are a subset of humanity, not the totality of it. So “high school comes with you” is presented as an inevitability. It’s not.

  18. Rusty Shackleford

    High School only goes with you if you constantly live in the past. I’m old enough that I have forgotten much of my High School days.

    • comicbookharriet

      I still carry some of High School with me. My Parents still carry some High School with them. Why? Because many of our respective current circles of friends were met in High School. It is more prevalent if you stay in the same town you grew up in. So when you reminisce about good or funny times, your shared experience goes back to school days.

      You know what we don’t do? CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT AND FRAME OUR LIVES AROUND WHAT HAPPENED IN HIGH SCHOOL. There’s a big difference between, “Lol, Oh yeah, that was a great time! What you wanna do tonight?” and “I was the nerd, he was the bully, she was popular, this is my mantra, this is my life.”

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Exactly. I see my old high school friends every year around the holidays. But we rarely talk about high school, we talk about our current lives!

        Our Cindy used to work at our local mall and she would always say hello and talk to me. (She never did in high school, but who cares.).

  19. Professor Fate

    I have to say that grief can make you feel a lot of weird things. Emotions run all over the map and sometimes you find yourself thinking things totally unrelated to the matter at hand. However dear sweet lord, someone with the sense that god gave a rabbit would while at the man’s grave site (for Christ’s sake) kept his f-king mouth shut about how the dead man had bullied him over thirty damn years ago?
    And gee how the hell is supposed to be profound expect for folks who can’t let high school go?
    and of course what does this have to do with CTE? Or Bull’s suicide and the emotional fall out from that? Nothing. Les is pretty much saying ‘I’m glad he’s dead” which i’d respect the Author more if he’d actually had Les say that. it would be at least an honest emotion which are very rare on the ground in FW.
    This really marks a new low in this arc
    bah.

  20. CRM114

    The really sad thing is, in trying to understand Batuik, this particular strip comes off as his own cry for help.

  21. Just add “retcon” to the list of things Batominc doesn’t understand.

  22. bayoustu

    Why, it’s almost as if this strip were written by a… oh, I don’t know: a talking chimp! Who couldn’t be bothered to remember the whole bullying thing was retconned!!

  23. Count of Tower Grove

    “. . . and then I finally beat him at tennis!”

  24. Melissa Jones

    I’m 49 years old, and I now live far away from my hometown. I’ve moved several times since I graduated from high school (once for college, once for graduate school, and so on). I’ve often wondered why Les came back to Westview after college, if he hated the place and the people so much. I managed to lose all my elementary school, junior high school, and high school yearbooks in the most recent move. I’m definitely not going to look for replacement copies of them.

  25. Merry Pookster

    Newspaper and police said “accident”…. no word about suicide

  26. Jimmy

    The author and his avatar are friggin a holes.

  27. hitorque

    Holy damn…. I didn’t even *LIKE* Bull, but seeing the two most ego-driven, selfish characters in recorded history pat themselves on the back after nailing themselves to a cross for dealing with the “inconvenience” of even attending the funeral (Cindy) and the “hardship” of just even knowing the guy his entire life (Lester) fills me with rage…

    For the first time in my life, last October I took a year off from reading daily comics after 35+ years… If this is what’s greeting me on my return, I just might take off another five years…