by | February 19, 2020 · 10:15 pm

Bye Bye Miss American Buy

Sensing that Ruby isn’t going to be an easy lay after all, Chester resorts to a combination of flattery and bribery. Ruby’s mistrust of the Chiseler is on display again. For him to attempt to ravish her or shake her down for money would be more plausible than him (awkwardly) handing over the Miss American cover art for which he’d paid big bucks.

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18 responses to “Bye Bye Miss American Buy”

  1. William Thompson
    February 19, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Batiuk finished this, then looked down from his writing board and said “Master? May I have my heart and soul back, too?”

  2. Doghouse Reilly
    February 19, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    Chester “Cheetah” Hagglemore has been depicted as a lifelong comic book fan. If that’s the case, then…
    1. Why, at the gallery show last August where he bought the cover, didn’t he learn then that artist Ruby Lith was in attendance and talk to her…or get her to sign the artwork he purchased, like a good investor would?
    2. Why, When Ruby visited the Atomik offices in September (and was hired later that month, apparently by Duhwin), didn’t super fanboy Chester greet her and ask her questions about his beloved Golden Age of Comics…or get her to sign the artwork he purchased, like a good investor would?
    3. Why, when Kitchen Spoon popped in to the Batty Atomik Bullpen this month and gave Lily her check for the artwork which Chester bought, didn’t he admit that he was the buyer and offer it back to her then?
    4. Why are we spending weeks after weeks following all this?

    • Epicus Doomus
      February 19, 2020 at 11:30 pm

      Consider this: after nearly three weeks of this all we know about Ruby for sure is that she drew that cover. He’s not even bothering to develop the new characters at all anymore, they’re born as fully one-dimensional cliches now. Even characters like Cliff, Phil Holt and Adeela were given rudimentary personalities, but Ruby is strictly all about that Miss American cover and nothing else.

      • William Thompson
        February 19, 2020 at 11:51 pm

        Rubella is here to prove that male chauvinism is extinct in the Funkyverse. So much for her whining about the bad old days! And Batiuk has invalidated her complaints as lazily as possible. “Here, little girl, have a pretty picture! Now let’s not talk about the non-role of girls in Westview!”

  4. beckoningchasm
    February 19, 2020 at 11:37 pm

    More wish fulfillment, in the dullest possible way.

    Imagine the “Aladdin” movie (the good one from the 90’s) where the first wish was “I wish I had everything I ever wanted” and BOOM, there it all was. The rest of the movie would be Aladdin and Genie talking about comic books, with Genie glancing at his watch every now and then.

  5. William Thompson
    February 19, 2020 at 11:47 pm

    Aw, lookie! A girl just received something valuable, with no strings attached! A chivalrous deed by a Funky man! Don’t all us haters feel ashamed for saying mean things about how Westview men treat women? Batiuk has redeemed himself by having an imaginary character give a valuable, if non-existent, present to the first female character to complain about sexism! Such generosity! Begone, complaints that all his women are doormats and harridans!

  6. billytheskink
    February 20, 2020 at 1:10 am

    Weird. “Just so you know… I’m not returning the money.” is exactly what the clerk at Borders told me when I brought back a copy of Gone With The Woodwinds I had foolishly purchased the day before.

  7. Paul Jones
    February 20, 2020 at 3:23 am

    She has to assume there are strings attached. Otherwise, the man signing her pay check is crazy and stupid…….

  8. Banana Jr. 6000
    February 20, 2020 at 7:02 am

    Okay, so Chester rhe Chiseler did buy the same Miss American cover art Ruby Lith just sold via Kitsch Swoon’s comic book-themed art gallery.

    Just writing that sentence makes me sad.

  9. Gerard Plourde
    February 20, 2020 at 7:47 am

    As Epicus Doomus and Beckoningchasm have pointed out, TomBa has now achieved a new level – he’s created a totally vacuous character and gratuitously fulfilled her wish while leaving out any kind of story. She’s magically granted ownership of her creation and (in TomBa’s mind) a work environment inhabited by non predatory males.

    Sadly, I’m sure that TomBa believes that the disjointed outline about Ruby that he presented constitutes an example of allegory and archetype in the classic comic book tradition.

    • William Thompson
      February 20, 2020 at 8:25 am

      She will now bless the Funkyverse by declaring it free of the taint of sexism. Hurrah, the Fifties-style abuse of women comic-cook artists has ended! Maybe now she’ll go away and let Mindy treat Mopey to lunch.

  10. bobanero
    February 20, 2020 at 8:07 am

    I’m a big fan of Miss American, which is why I bought the copyright years ago and then totally forgot all about it, and never mentioned this before during the months that you’ve worked for me.

  11. maulmach
    February 20, 2020 at 10:32 am

    And then she turns around and sells them to someone else.

    • Banana Jr. 6000
      February 20, 2020 at 11:49 am

      Yeah really. The story never even considers that maybe she doesn’t want the art back. Or the rights, for that matter. But Chester knows what’s best for Ruby – he’s a man! It fits perfectly into the overall MRA mentality of the strip.

    • beckoningchasm
      February 20, 2020 at 4:13 pm

      Then Chester sees it’s for sale, buys it again, and gives it to her again.

      I think Batiuk has found an easier way to get to that 50th.