Dr. Schmoe’s

Did you know Funky is old and injured? He’s so old and injured, y’all… see today’s strip for reference if you don’t believe me. When did this happen? Funky being old and injured has NEVER been mentioned in this comic strip before…

Les, though? Les is probably YEARS away from qualifying for his own cancer run’s over 65 division even though he graduated high school the same year Funky did. Look at him, no orthotics of any kind. Heck, he doesn’t even bother putting a strap on his glasses to play tennis.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “Dr. Schmoe’s

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Falling apart physically, Funky?”

    “Yep, every day it’s something else. Ever since we graduated, really.”

    “(Smirk) Ha, it’s funny, isn’t it? Back in high school you thought you were better than me, but now all these years later, I’m very fit, I’m an accomplished author, I own an Oscar and I have a younger, thin wife. Go figure.”

    “Yeah, life sure is funny Les. Now be a pal and hand me those heart pills, will ya?”


  2. William Thompson

    I can’t imagine why Les doesn’t wear a strap for his glasses, but it’s easy to imagine why he wouldn’t wear a jock strap. (Yeah, I know it’s gross and vulgar, but it’s the best I can do with this material.)

  3. billytheskink

    Pretty bland strip today, but a great opportunity to use the “Les’ back is turned take the shot take the shot” tag.

  4. Les mostly just sits around and whines about his life. Great way to avoid physical injuries.

  5. J.J. O'Malley

    You know, it’s a little odd to think that about 30 years ago Batiuk was “crafting” one comic strip about high school students and their teenage travails and another one about irascible senior citizens. Here we are three decades later and I’m hard-pressed sometimes to tell which strip is which. Last week’s “Funky is an ass at the financial planning seminar” saga could just as easily have been a Crankshaft arc, and so far this week both title “protagonists” have done nothing but complain about aches, pains, and the onset of old age. When is TB going to merge them into one character named either “Funky Crankshaft” or “Ed Winkerbean”?

    • Y. Knott

      It’s clear that Batiuk simply can’t handle writing two strips anymore. That’s not a knock — between FW, Crankshaft and John Darling, he’s churned out material for an astounding 96 years worth of comic strips. That would tax anyone’s creativity…

      It’s okay to slow down a little, Tom! It’s a slog — anyone who’s written anything to a daily deadline knows how brutally remorseless and draining it can be! Don’t be a hero!

      (Okay, yes, fine, it’s plausible that he would struggle to write even ONE coherent comic strip. But two strips that are blurring into each other, and now both basically consist of old guys endlessly complaining and/or reminiscing? That’s obviously too much for him to handle.)

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Very true. Even Watterson and Breathed got burned out. Both quit while they were ahead. Batty is holding on for dear life and refuses to let go.

        Surprised he hasn’t retired one strip…or merged them…and then he could spend more time reading or writing comic books.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          Watterson and Breathed (and Larson) cared about the quality of their work. Batiuk does not, even though he constantly expects awards and praise for his half-assed wish fulfillment. Clearly nobody at the syndicate cares either, considering what they allow him to print. Ending Funky Winkerbean wouldn’t even put the man out of work!

          • Charles

            It seems to me that Batiuk thinks he does a good job for the most part. He definitely thinks the things he writes are better than they actually are, and I’ve become convinced over the last several years that he doesn’t know enough to recognize when he’s writing crap.

            Take last week, where an essential part of the humor is that you need to feel the same way about financial advisers as Batiuk. The shortcoming that prevents him from understanding that other people have different perspectives is the same shortcoming that prevents him from recognizing that he’s a terrible writer.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Bill Holbrook has been putting out three titles by himself since 1995 for a combined 98 years. On the Fastrack (1984), Safe Havens (1989) and Kevin and Kell (1995).

        I’ve been reading a couple of those titles for years and haven’t noticed any decline in quality.

        And another thing, Bill Holbrook participates in the comment sections. Sometimes as one of his characters.

        • Y. Knott

          Shhhh….you want Batiuk to get ideas and go back to doing three strips?

          • be ware of eve hill

            Define “doing.” Batty hasn’t drawn Funky Winkerbean in over fifteen years. He never drew Crankshaft or John Darling. I know he insists it is, but can what he does on Funky Winkerbean be called “writing”?

            I can’t explain his continued success. The only person in comics luckier than Les Moore is Tom Batiuk.

            BTW, Bill Holbrook writes and illustrates all three of his titles by himself. Batty is outclassed before he even takes a seat in his office.

            Seriously, what could the third strip be? A Crankshaft spinoff featuring the literary adventures of Lillian? Atomik Komix seven days a week, 52 weeks a year? NOOOOO!!! 😱😱😱

            I need to go lie down. I’m feeling ill.

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    Crankshaft: Channel One is so desperate to hire them back. I guess when you are the local Christian broadcaster it’s tough finding and keeping good people. Our local station was owned by Ernest Angely and besides his classic Ninety and Nine club which featured live faith healing, the station was also the local CW affiliate.

    Mary Worth: I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Dawn. This proves Dawn is like her father. They always have a way of deflecting blame and responsibility towards others in order to garner sympathy. Aaaaaah, I’m becoming Mary Worth!

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      And Crankshaft can’t even be bothered to say why the TV station needs these two losers back so badly. Radio and TV station staff are the most inessential, easily replaceable employees on earth. And that’s if you DIDN’T run a beloved local theater into the ground. Batiuk’s need for wish fulfillment never ends.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Judging by the station manager’s desperation, you’d think they haven’t aired anything since the Bobbsey Twins left.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      And another thing: what kind of twisted HR department makes group job offers? An interview, and more so a job offer, should be done privately with each person. Maybe, if they were some kind of husband-and-wife TV show host team. But we’re not even told or shown what they do! Besides wear a headset, stand near the camera, and be grossly overpaid because I’m So Talented. It never ends.

    • billytheskink

      Funky Winkerbean: So uninteresting so far this week that we’ve justifiably resorted to talking about Crankshaft and Mary Worth on Son of Stuck Funky…

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        It’s a good day to talk about Funkyblog news. Batiuk has finally gotten around to talking about his ComicCon visit from three weeks ago. We learn the scintillating details of ComicCon’s vaccination protocols! Apparently you show proof of vaccination and they give you a wristband! It’s called writing, folks.

        More interesting is Batiuk’s comment that the story in the Comic-Con souvenir book is “the best and most authoritative piece ever written on Funky and friends.” I doubt that’s saying much, but it is revealing that he heartily approves. From what I’ve read, it’s the same unquestioning drivel about how super-edgy it is that Lisa died (when Batiuk constantly brings her back from the dead) and that the characters age realistically (which they don’t, and which wouldn’t be noteworthy or important even if they did). Batiuk’s media appearances are more stage-managed than the North Korean mass games.

        We also see a crowd shot of the spotlight panel. There appear to be five attendees, at least two of whom are looking at their phones. I could find no other images of the attendees.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          Here’s the whole Comic-Con souvenir book if you want to read it:

          Click to access CCI22_SouvenirBook_Web.pdf

          • robertodobbs

            Thanks for posting the souvenir book – Great feature on E.C.’s Bill Gaines on p. 54.

          • billytheskink

            Comic strips can be elusive in content and readership.
            They’re often taken for granted (and sometimes denigrated) by folks who see them in daily newspapers.

            I say we take credit for this.

          • Rusty Shackleford

            Thanks so much for posting, great to read about Schulz and Gaines.

            I remember Mad reprinting some of those early horror books. My great uncle had a few of the originals from the 1950s

          • ComicBookHarriet

            Thanks for posting BJ6K! Nice to see Ayer’s 50th anniversary art piece got a nod.

        • Y. Knott

          “Maggie’s knowledge of all things Funky seemed to exceed my own at times.”

          This is undoubtedly true. With Tom’s propensity for forgetting FW character names and established continuity, this is a fairly low bar to clear.

          • ComicBookHarriet

            Maggie seems to think that Funky Winkerbean is still stuck in 2008.

            “If the characters had aged in real time, Funky would
            be—what?—maybe 65. But Funky Winkerbean went from
            being frozen in time to two time jumps, and the characters are now in a designated “Act III.” Funky and the
            teens of “Act I” are now 46, and the adult Funky presides
            over Montoni’s restaurants in a variety of franchises. His15-year-old son is Cory. Les Moore is the single parent
            (following the breast-cancer death of Lisa) of 15-year-old daughter Summer. Crazy Harry Klinghorn is also the
            parent of a 15-year-old daughter; her name is Maddie.
            And there are more, more, more in a diverse cast with
            changing relationships. It’s a cast that has dealt with
            losses as well as additions—and society’s challenges as
            well as its norms.”

        • gleeb

          Funky Winkerbean characters do not age naturally. They are the same age for years, then suddenly much older. Gasoline Alley characters age natutally. They just forget to die.

  7. be ware of eve hill

    First, Lisa developed breast cancer and died. Then, Bull developed a debilitating brain disease and committed suicide. Marianne Winters developed breast cancer but survived.

    Now Funky is falling apart physically and arguably mentally.

    What do all of these people have in common? Friendship or marriage with Les Moore!

    Meanwhile, Les is the epitome of perfect health. He has become the strip’s alpha male. When was the last time we saw Les in a doctor’s office for personal care? Ever?

    Les is a carrier of illness and misery! It’s Les Moore! Putrescent Man!