beckoningchasm

Today’s Reading is From the Book of Comic

Sunday’s episode was not available for preview. Typically, though, Sunday’s offering doesn’t interfere with (for lack of a better term) “continuity” of any of the (for lack of a better term) “stories.” After all, we’re promised a visit to the !!!FLASH MUSEUM!!! in !!!CENTRAL CITY!!! and what could Sunday possibly offer that could compete with that?

So, we’ll probably get Funky and Les jogging, Bernie and Pals at the Komix Korner, Les talking about how hard writing is (but Lisa is so worth it), or Funky being made miserable by the universe.

Some things we can count on–there will be smirks, terrible word-play, and of the six panels on display, three of them will be unneeded. And the content will be uninteresting, but in a uniquely disappointing way.

UPDATE: Les is angry that Funky’s imagination is far more interesting than his own. I’m wondering if the new artists are contributing to the writing as well; in olden days, Les would be venting his imagination (in a far more boring fashion), and Funky would be the one bringing everything back to earth. Today, Les is the stodgy, unimaginative one.

This is a nice development.

Flash in the Brain Pan

Link to today’s strip.

LOOK, EVERYONE!

YES!! Dullard has had enough of Blondie, and is shoving her out the window! I hope he immediately regrets this and throws himself out as well!

I was looking over the previous strips this week and thinking, You know, if these characters were likeable, this wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not funny but it could be tolerable. Maybe I’ve been too hard on Tom Batiuk.

And then, Tom Batiuk ends the week like this.

Jesus wept.

I understand there are people who really like comic books, and are excited when a new issue comes out, or there’s a comic book convention they can attend. But the idea of a grown man being thrilled beyond measure to go to a museum celebrating the Flash…that’s just one of the saddest things I can imagine. What the heck can they possibly have there?

In comics, I know the Flash Museum in Central City is a thing that exists, because it was the basis of a very entertaining episode of the animated Justice League Unlimited series. There’s a huge difference, though, between the worlds of Justice League Unlimited and Funky Winkerbean. I know I don’t have to point this out, but in JLU, the Flash is a real person who accomplishes real things, his rogue’s gallery are real people (and a gorilla) who commit real crimes, and superheroes in the real world is something people take for granted. So, going to a museum devoted to the Flash and his exploits could be quite interesting.

In Funky Winkerbean, the Flash is not, repeat not, a real person. Despite how hard some people wish that he was. I can’t imagine how they could make a Flash museum interesting. A museum of comic books, or of superheroes in general, sure, that might work. If a friend told me, “Hey, let’s go to the Flash Museum,” the first thing that would come to mind would be a cement-brick basement with a single naked bulb in the center. A constant sound of water drops. A fat surly guy would wave me over to a corner to start the “tour.” And I would think, So this is how I die.

“Let’s not,” I’d say. “Let’s go bowling, or get a pizza, or – better yet – I hear the local high school is having a graduation ceremony. That would be more fun.”

She Who Laughs Last

Link to today’s strip.

I think that summarizes today’s strip pretty well. It has irrelevant images, repetition, and a genial yet cutting accusation.

But if we want to make it more specific, we can. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity.

This illustrates the entire problem with this week’s “story.” These people aren’t likeable; we wish to see them harmed.

Owl Stretching Time

Link to today’s strip.

Do any of you folks remember Silly Putty? It was a strange, malleable plastic that could bounce, stretch in various ways, and had other interesting qualities. And one of the things you could do was…well, I’ll let Wikipedia tell the tale:

“When newspaper ink was petroleum based, Silly Putty could be used to transfer newspaper images to other surfaces, potentially providing amusement by distorting the transferred image afterwards. Newer papers with soy-based inks are more resistant to this process.”

So, you could transfer the image of a single comic strip and, with a little patience, you could stretch that image out so that it was the size of an entire week’s worth of strips! I can imagine how excited Tom Batiuk must have been to discover that Silly Putty is still being made, and that its adaptive process is only slightly dimmed with time.

I mean, last week with Dinkle, recording a CD had been decided, ways to raise money for this discussed, and frail elderly people were sent unsupervised into dangerous neighborhoods to hawk funguous and noisome confectionery offal. If Dullard were in charge of that venture, we’d only now be deciding on what recording medium would require the least amount of work (yet would allow the most complaining).

I don’t want to delve back through Dullard’s scenes, but don’t they always play out this way? It takes him weeks to open a letter, pack a van, invite a lost sister inside, or scowl about having to work.

And It Feels Like This!

Link to today’s strip.

(Credit to Atkinson, Byrne, Chaney, Ellner and Michalski)

This is like watching a movie where a character is confronting the antagonist, but you already know it’s a dream sequence so it really doesn’t make an impact. We already know Blondie isn’t having an affair. We’re just watching stuff get stretched out mercilessly. On the plus side, the art is okay, the positioning of the characters is nicely done, and the faces look natural (aside from Psycho Woman)

And I can actually believe that the Dullards have a chest of drawers that appears to be about five feet tall and three inches deep. It’s for all the pencils, you see!