In Westview, Social Security gets YOU! As if he’ll ever live long enough to collect THAT! Seriously though, I’ve always seen Owen’s Westviewian future as being sort of bright. He’s fluent in comic books and pizza, he wears the same clothes every day, he’s annoying, in other words he’ll fit in at Montoni’s or The Korner absolutely seamlessly. And someone at one of those businesses will die off or write a movie sooner or later, it’s inevitable. Now all he has to do is, you know, actually graduate.
Author: Epicus Doomus
V.P. at SoSF. Does not approve of new WP layout at all.
Driving A Wedge Between Us
I thought Wedgeman was a feared “senior bully” years ago. Now he’s in the same class as Stupid and Stupider? More proof that the Great Pulitzer Nominee doesn’t even care if anyone’s still paying attention. Like, for example, Wedgeman’s two entirely different noses today. Seriously man, come on. Someone go over to Batom Inc. HQ and poke him with a stick to see if he’s still conscious.
I’m just happy to see that TB is finally making school bullying funny again, like how it was back in The Olden Days when everything was way better. Owen’s been asking for it, you see? Kind of like when Lisa was shamelessly sauntering about senior beer-bashes with her red Solo cup like some sort of strumpet. In the Funkyverse you bring your fate upon yourself and even if you don’t it doesn’t matter as The Universe will strike you down sooner or later anyway. It’s all so clear to me now.
Ring, A-Ding-A-Ling
Special thanks to the SoSF team for steering us all the way into February! Time sure does fly when NOTHING WHATSOEVER is happening, huh?
Once again Guy McAuthor tackles yet another contemporary issue facing young whatevers today, as he at long last uses his delightfully poisonous felt-tip to take on the scourge of…class rings. Boy, I was wondering when he’d finally go after those evil Jostens folks. Nice to see BanMan taking off the gloves and aiming for such a deserving target.
Anyway, Owen (the inexplicable host of “The Bleat”…har har) is looking at this all wrong, as a class ring will be a nice investment that he can pawn to buy a new chullo or some valuable comic books down the line. And if he can’t afford one now, no worries, as he can always buy one next year or the year after that or the year after that. And what the f*ck is Dick Facey sneering about? Are the morning announcements cutting into his smug wordplay time again? And why is he dressed like a parking valet? What a dick.
Bland Control To Major Dull
And today it’s a very special cameo from no one’s favorite FW character, Jim Klabichnik, Science Guy. Hey, at least it isn’t Les. It’s a long, long way to go for a gag maybe a dozen people will see and maybe half of them will get, but then again I usually tend to vastly overstate these numbers. We also see that Westview is ALREADY in the grip of near-whiteout blizzard conditions, as there aren’t any sunny winter days in Olde Westview Towne. It’s gonna be a long winter, folks.
And this marks the end of my latest hosting stint, thanks to all for the superlative snark! Stay tuned for our resident Funk-storian, billytheskink as he guides us through whatever the hell Nate’s up to this week….enjoy!
And With That Last Panel, The Arc Ended
Yikes, talk about lackadaisical. Maybe he could end every arc this way…”and that was how Lisa died”…”and that was how Funky traveled back in time”…”that’s why Les is such a smug dick all the time”…”and that’s why Owen always wears that hat now”…you get the idea. If Funky had just said, “oh, we won a holiday bowling tournament that year” on Monday, all of whatever this was supposed to be could have been neatly avoided and replaced with, oh I don’t know, something about pizza or comic books or an immense sense of personal loss or something fun like that. You know, the typical meaty FW fare.
It’s funny to me how he’ll use FW to promote CS but the CS strips merely used FW characters as backdrops. If you don’t read CS regularly you have no idea who that lady is or why her bad bowling is supposed to be funny. None of the FW characters seemed to recognize their psychotic old school bus driver either, which is pretty weird, as he was supposedly so “iconic” he got his own spin-off strip. The main thing I got out of it was realizing how old Rachel actually is, how old and fat Funky got and how Bull looks pretty much the same as he did back then which is a huge accomplishment in the Funkyverse. So kudos to him.
Son of Stuck Funky 