Son of Stuck Funky – Page 617 – Son of Stuck Funky

Punch Me to the Moon

Yeah–that sounds exactly like the way publishing must work. Let’s take a book that’s already completed and put it aside for a book that’s barely begun, and might take (agonized) years to finish. In the meantime, the folks who put literally moments into illustrating the first book will wait patiently to be paid. This is as close to real as it gets, folks! After all, if top-of-the-bestseller-lists author Les Moore isn’t handled properly, and given all the time he wants to mediocretize, he might skip to another vanity press! Heavens!

Notice how in just one day, the focus has switched from Darin’s Californian Adventure back to Lisa. That Pulitzer nomination must be the bitterest flavor Tom Batiuk has ever tasted. Notice, too, that Cayla shows up just now so she can be further humiliated and placed at the back of the bus so Lisa can ride up front. I find it very difficult to feel sympathy for her, however, as this is a bus she chose when she fought to get Les as a prize.

I take it back. The failure of the Pulitzer committee to notice that Tom Batiuk had married his most wondrous character ever to a black woman–that taste must be bitterest of all.

Empunchable You

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, BChasm back for another stretch driving the Funky Phantom. In today’s episode, the most notable thing is another amazingly punchable face by Les in panel three. It’s so punchable, in fact, that it looks as if Tom Batiuk beat us all to the punch (so to speak) and just kept punching. I’ve never seen a visage as scrambled as that, outside of Beetle Bailey after Sarge scrunches him to the ground.

As to the “content,” why would Darin ask Les about his Hollywood experience? I’m going to assume for the sake of argument that Darin actually wants to work on this movie, and to see it through to completion, thus possibly getting a good-paying job. Les, you’ll recall, worked tirelessly to torpedo his movie and make certain that Hollywood would never call him again. It’s hard to think of a greater example of non-success, or, to give it its proper name, failure. Unless Darin is planning on doing the exact opposite of everything Les says, he’s doomed.

The feeling on my part is that the movie won’t be made anyway. Given the absolute sacredness with which comic books are viewed in this strip, coupled with how Evil Hollywood always wants to alter the purity of the material it has been given, means that all the cast and crew will resign en masse in order to keep from sullying the wonder that is Starbuck Jones. If it doesn’t come from Les, it’s not allowed to happen.

By the way, I think I’ve figured out what it is that I dislike most about the art in this strip as it appears throughout Act III. It’s not the smirks, it’s the half-lidded eyes, the ones that seem to be carrying on their own conversation. “You know, right?” “Of course I know. And you know, too.” It’s that unspoken superiority to all things that is totally unearned. It makes me want to punch Les all the more, although all the characters do it.

Pitching A Snit

Hey, have you ever wondered what goes on with band kids in the summers, before Lefty gets ahold of the big-and-brassy, loud-and-flashy, Westview High School Scapegoat marching band? Well then, today’s strip is for you! Turns out there is no “before”, as Lefty asserts year-round control of the extracurricular lives of several dozen high school students.

Looks like Owen is still a member of the band, entering what I think is his fourth senior year at WHS. To the surprise of no one, he still has not gotten any better at playing or maintaining his trumpet.

But, unfortunately, it is Dinkle who is the focus of this strip. I do not like these characters in the least, but I do think the punchline is a step above terrible. What is not, however, is the entire set up, which is utterly destroyed by a small piece of artwork.

It makes next to no sense for Dinkle to be so upset that Lefty’s multifunction battery-operated device (smartphone) can perform the function of his single-function battery-operated device (pitch tuner). That small box he is holding, with its clearly discernible button and speaker grate, is a fairly accurate depiction of an electronic pitch tuner. This is “old-fashioned”? No. No it is not. NOT. AT. ALL.

What would be “old-fashioned” would be a tuning fork, or one of those little round harmonica things that telegram messengers in movies from the 1940s blow into before they sing. Had TB drawn either one of those, this strip would have been a far less infuriating read.

Anyways, thanks for putting up with me for a fortnight. BC, I believe, takes over tomorrow. No, not that one, the funny one.

Wally and the Eager Beaver

Why does Funky not take Wally’s earnest interest in being the new Darin seriously in today’s strip?

Is it because he doesn’t trust Wally to manage Montoni’s or pay his rent?

Is it because he’s mad that Rachel hasn’t shown up for work at Montoni’s since she married Wally?

Is it because he believes that anyone who shows that much enthusiasm in Westview is a Soviet spy or alien pod person?

Is it because he’s mad that he wasn’t able to send Cory to the orphanage that has apparently taken in Wally Jr, Tyler and Little Abbey Klinghorn, Jamie and Kerri Thorp, and now Rachel’s son whose name I don’t remember?

Is it because he’s emphasizing the word “worked” in an awkward phrase while trying to subtly tell Crazy to get back to his job at Komix Korner and quit downing free refills of his $2 bottomless cup of coffee because he’s sick of calling the Royal Cup delivery man every other freaking day?

Is it because he’s a schmuck?

Say Goodbye To Durwood

Get a load of today’s strip… Darin and Jessica are going off to pursue a risky but exciting opportunity in California, leaving poor, pitiful Funky having to replace an employee AND a renter. “Oh woe is me. I now have to assume the common responsibilities of both a small-business owner AND a landlord! Oh weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Where the heck is the Green Pitcher?! I think the readers have earned the little respite its presence provides. Instead, we get Wally wandering out of the kitchen with a tray of telephone pole insulators. At first I thought they were drinking glasses, but Montoni’s is never busy enough to justify owning a whole tray of those.