A Very Funky Christmas

Link To Today’s Strip

Yes Tom, at one time or another most of us have heard that line and pondered the image of a Christmas tree covered in hanging gifts, seemingly making a mockery of gravity itself. I mean the song IS nearly eighty years old and all. The main difference of course, being that generally speaking, most of us stopped pondering that particular question when we were seven or eight years old. But I digress and besides, it’s Christmas time.

Coming for Xmas 2019: Funky introduces his special “Christ Child” pizza, featuring three kinds of “tender and mild” toppings.

Koo Koo For Cocoa Putz

Link To Today’s Slice O’ Holiday Cheer

Beck I hear you calling
But I can’t come home right now,
Me and the band are in shambles,
And Harry ain’t around

Just a few more hours
And he’ll tell me what to do,
I think I hear him cackling,
Oh Beck, what can I do?

Sorry. Sorry about the post title too. Maybe one day we’ll have a big SoSF contest and YOU can try to title these things. Trust me, aside from reading the strip it’s the hardest thing about this. Anyhow, today we see WHS’ incredibly lax security exposed, as John blithely saunters into the school toting some hot chocolate for his right-handed bride Becky without as much as a “visitor” pass to identify himself. Shameful in this day and age. Apparently our armless pal Becky needs to burn the midnight oil and spend endless nights toiling over having her band play some basic Christmas standards for an hour and apparently there’s some sort of cutting edge band software involved as well, software I assume Dinkle invented. I like how she has to identify her own husband by his full name so “casual” FW readers will know they’re married, as how else would they? I bet that if you were to (ugh) go back and check out the entirety of (gak) Act III Becky and John are in maybe ten or fifteen panels together total. Ten or fifteen too many if you ask me.

This has been mentioned in the comments before, but isn’t it, uh…”interesting” how every FW character’s “passion” is always depicted as a thankless miserable chore? Drawing comic books, making pizza, writing maudlin cancer books, playing tennis, teaching music…no one ever actually enjoys these pursuits, they merely endure them. It’s just a thought, but perhaps FW might be more popular if only its worldview wasn’t so perpetually downbeat. But you already knew that.

Cot In The Middle With You

Link To Today’s Snore

And today we learn way, way too much about John and Becky Howard’s unholy union. She hasn’t seemed all that “intense” this week, although she WAS smirking a lot, so who knows? I do like Crazy’s expression in panel three though, it’s sort of a mix between mild shock and slight disgust, which is totally appropriate given the subject matter. I assume that Dinkle also has a cot in the band room so he can tell Becky how to sleep and when to wake up, otherwise how would she know?