School Smarm

Today’s strip marks the long-awaited and eagerly-anticipated return of Sophomoric Sightings, the comic strip that Durwood and Pete drew for the Westview High School newspaper back in Act II. It was last seen nearly a decade ago, in early 2007 I believe, when Pete lamented to Chien in the school paper office that he was having to create the whole comic himself since Darin was spending so much time with Jessica.

Honestly, I have a bit of a soft spot for “Sophomoric Sightings”, as it is not unlike my own attempts at cartooning when I was in high school (or, uh, now even)… the simple and inoffensive jokes, avoiding drawing hands whenever possible, significant artwork inconsistencies between panels. If only given the context that they are comic strips within a comic strip about high school, they actually serve their purpose quite well and perhaps exhibit some level of charm.

When given the context that they are literally the only depicted works in a Hollywood storyboard artist’s portfolio, that opinion… changes.

Do maladroits dream of selective *bleep*?

Today’s strip

Les – * There’s no DJ here. There’s no DJ here. There’s no DJ…
Cayla – Wake up, honey.
Les – * Hate Big Walnut Tech. Hate Big Walnut Tech. Hate Big Wal…
Cayla – Les. Les, dear, It’s Cayla, darling.
Les – Oh, Cayla, it’s… you.
Cayla – Yes, darling.
Bull – Hello, Les! Anybody home? I heard the you were distraught by the the big… well… you seem all right now.
Crazy Harry – Yes. He got quite a bump on the head. We kind of hoped… uh… thought there for a minute he was gonna leave us.
Donna – Oh.
Les – But I did leave you, Crazy. I came through the time pool. And then went back to our high school days.
Cayla – There, there, lie quiet now. You just had a bad dream.
Les – No.
Funky – Sure. Remember me, your old pal, Funky?
Les – Oh.
Holly – And me, Holly?
Cindy – You couldn’t forget my face, could you?
Les – No. But it wasn’t a dream. It was a time pool. And you, and you, and you, and you were there.
Barry – Oh!
Les – Not you Barry.
Cayla – Oh, we dream lots of silly things when we…
Les – No, Cayla, there was a real, functioning time pool. And I remember that there wasn’t much class… but mostly it was a reunion. But just the same, all I kept doing was wandering through the background listening to Cindy reveal her insecurities and Crazy plot to alter the present with a smartphone. Doesn’t anybody believe me?
Crazy Harry – Of course we believe you, Les. *wink*
Les – Oh, but anyway, Lis… uh Cayla, we’re here! Here! And this is the reunion – and you’re all here! And I’m not going to coordinate the reunion ever, ever again, because I loathe you all! And… oh, Cayla? There’s no one like Lisa!

Barry Bald-faced-liar-man

– Find and/or purchase salt. Box, canister, iodized, sea, it doesn’t matter.
– Take one grain of aforementioned salt
– Read today’s strip
– For best results, avoid repeating

Is this strip supposed to explain Les’ lack of interaction with young Lisa (or any of the Act I gang)? That he fainted and was unconscious during the whole interaction?
Probably, in which case there will be a new entry into the dictionary’s definition of “cop-out”, but we should give TB the benefit of the doubt until this is confirmed.

Either way, though, Barry Balderman is spouting some Barry Balderdash today. This is what happened to Les after her was told that the DJ bailed:

He stated his hate for Big Walnut Tech

He gave Cayla the “children left behind” death glare for making a good point

He broodingly mused on the origin of Crazy’s nickname

He saw the entire Act I gang appear out of the Time Pool

He had a staring contest with his younger self while Lisa looked forlornly at her replacement

He continued the staring contest in silhouette form

He watched the entire Act I gang prepare to get back in the Time Pool

He waddled through the background of a strip that appeared IMMEDIATELY before he was depicted as fainted and passed out

Are my eyes beady enough for ya?

Legends of the Hidden Temple

See today’s strip, in which two women express unfathomable amounts of concern for Les. Don’t laugh though (hard to do, I know), you don’t want to be one of those left-behind children Les is always talking about.

Les… are you okay?
Lisa asked, noticing
No glasses temple

Cayla concerned
Les’ tie is made of hair
And we all know whose